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August 14, 2002

She Can Bring Home the Lup Cheong

The inaugural issue of Hawai`i Woman magazine is out, and probably on newsstands now (although I haven't seen it anywhere).

Is This Anything?

I'm a magazine junkie. I love the idea of a publication's audience specificity, and I go nuts with excitement thinking about how these audiences make up their own cultures, with their own languages and traditions. Wine Spectator has its audience and language, while readers of The Source have languages and traditions that are entirely different. A wanna-be writer, I'm turned on by the stuff that makes one character different from another, and I guess this is why I got excited by Erica Engle's story in the Star-Bulletin a few weeks ago.

I got my free first issue Thursday, and have read every word of it, so here's a quick review.

Stupid Human Tricks

The first thing I noticed was the masthead. Publisher: Kristine Ellis-Fujimoto. CEO: Paul T. Fujimoto. Advisory Board (among others): Joan M. Ellis and Doug Ellis, Jr. Additionally, the Managing Editor is former Miss Hawai`i Billie Takaki, who happens to be the subject of the cover article.

May We See Your Photos Please?

Managerial incest aside, the magazine seems to be a glossy, noble attempt to mix inspiration, business, fashion, and culture--equal parts O and Honolulu, with a little bit of Mid-Week thrown in.

The pages are slick, the photos glossy and in color. There's a fashion section with photos of stuff you can get at a shop owned by one of the magazine's contributing writers. The layout looks just a bit amateurish (I don't know much about magazine layout, so my opinion here may not mean much), with large fonts making up for short pieces in some places, and sections with two pieces per page.

Features are stories about Billie Takaki, Mamo Howell, and Betty White (not the Golden Girl), with an autobiographical story by Dr. Lili Kawaharada Horton, a local orthodontist. There are smaller pieces about hiking Diamond Head and about low voter turnout in Hawai`i, which the table of contents calls "columns," but which look like mini-features to me, unless they're planning to run a "trail of the month" thing and a "social problem of the month" thing.

"Departments" are financial, art, home, fashion, humor, beauty, health, fitness, travel, astrology, and inspirational. Of these, the home piece was the best-written and the most interesting. The writer is a designer, who highlights here one of her projects, describing quite nicely a home that's nicer than yours, illustrating the article with very nice photos. Most of the other "department" pieces are short--about four paragraphs each.

Celebrity X-Ray Challenge

The writing is well-intentioned, but needs serious work. Most of the pieces are technically sloppy (bad punctuation, misplaced modifiers, shifts in point-of-view), but the editors get bonus points for only ONE comma-splice in the whole issue (I know for a fact that the managing editor's twelfth-grade English teacher took an automatic ten percent off every essay grade for each comma-splice, so it's nice to see that some lessons stick). Stylistically, sentences lack creativity and, in some places, variety. The writers sound like star-struck fans of the women they profile. The writing tends to lack focus and organization. In the cover story, for example, the writer resorts to asking rhetorical questions as a way to introduce information:

"Does she ever get bored? She is a powerhouse of energy..."
"What else is on Billie's plate? Most recently she..."
"What is Billie's goal? To be a high school English teacher."
"How does one define Billie Kiyoka Takaki? She is a kind, loving..."
I'm not exaggerating: These excerpts are from four consecutive paragraphs.

It would be nice to see some deeper, more challenging subjects in the interview pieces, but the prevailing mood is warm and fuzzy. Don't look for anything too insightful or gripping.

On the other hand, two longer pieces by someone named Cheryl Chee Tsutsumi were mostly quite well-done. Her writing is clear and she knows how to use a quote. I'm hoping the magazine keeps her busy in future issues.

Will It Float?

Okay, Hawai`i doesn't need a magazine like this any more than anyone needs any magazine at all. I like the idea of any locally-produced magazine with local audiences in mind, especially since it gives local writers more opportunities to get their stuff in print.

If it's going to be successful--and by that I mean successful in accomplishing what it wants to do--it needs to hire better writers, tone down the ingratiating tone, and quit patting itself and its writers on the back. There needs to be a balance between objectivity and "We Are Hawai`i Woman, Hear Us Roar!" I love the idea of featuring admirable women who aren't in the spotlight, but the magazine will grab more readers if it also finds columnists with names people recognize.

The magazine also needs to hire a competent copy editor. The types of grammatical and mechanical errors in this first issue's writing are embarrassingly minor-league. Any publication that hopes to inspire excellence is going to have to hold itself to decent standards of excellence itself, and I sincerely hope the editors find someone who knows what she is doing.

Top Ten Questions Inspired by Hawai`i Woman


  1. Where can you buy this?

  2. Why is the website so empty?

  3. Are people going to subscribe to this thing?

  4. Is there an audience for a magazine like this?

  5. Should locally-produced magazines aspire to the slick professionalism (and great writing) of mainland-looking publications like Honolulu or try to create something uniquely Hawai`i in look and feel?

  6. How strictly should a magazine like this stick to its intended "Published by Woman of Hawai`i for Woman of Hawai`i" mission? Should it refuse contributions by men?

  7. The magazine's "departments" are common to just about all women's general-interest periodicals. Are the editors missing some uniquely local interest?

  8. Does it matter that a considerable chunk of the ads are for businesses whose proprietors are contributors to this magazine?

  9. Why doesn't anyone know where to put a comma anymore?

  10. You know what would really sell? A magazine called Foxy Women of Hawai`i.

Posted by scrivener at August 14, 2002 03:41 PM

Comments

 
Posted by Ryan on August 15, 2002 12:18 AM:

What an incredible overview! Believe it or not, by some luck of the draw, a copy of this magazine is sitting in the copier room at my office. I haven't had a chance to sit down with it like you have, but I remember my first thought was, "Pretty, but how can they possibly sustain this?"

From what you've uncovered, it seems just barely this side of a self-published showcase.

The "managerial incest" is especially interesting to me, and I doubt most readers will catch it. (Few folks noticed the oddity of Hawaii Winter Baseball/Duane Kurisu coverage in the Star-Bulletin, and they've got a considerably larger circulation.)

As for Cheryl Chee Tsutsumi, I'm not surprised you found her pieces stood out. She's the editorial director of Aloha Magazine, a bestselling local author, a regular columnist, and a freelance writer whose byline appears all over.

I think you're onto something when addressing whether a magazine about women, and about Hawaii, is missing something important if its table of contents mirrors Oprah Magazine and its design is inspired by Conde Nast magazines...

Foxy Women of Hawai`i huh? Well, I will say that I wish there were more local publications... hell, with our abundance of free thinkers and artists, why don't we have the thriving zine culture of San Francisco? Fifty-cent subscriptions, smudgy photocopies stapled together, and original material - how can you lose?

 
Posted by Sherry on August 15, 2002 3:24 AM:

That was a great review of the premiere copy, scrivener. I used to work in print media, and only wish I could see a copy of that magazine. And, like you stated, their website is extremely empty. There isn't a story on that site!

 
Posted by helen on August 15, 2002 12:54 PM:

What's the cover price of the magazine?

 
Posted by Albert on August 15, 2002 2:02 PM:


The website sucks.

 
Posted by scrivener on August 16, 2002 2:35 PM:

The cover price is $3.75. I still haven't seen this on newsstands--has anyone else?

 
Posted by test on November 4, 2002 6:29 PM:

test

 
Posted by someone who knows on November 4, 2002 6:37 PM:

HWM will not last. Nevermind the fact that there are three blatant typos on the FRONT COVER of the magazine. Nevermind that the layout is crowded, unpleasing to the eye, and ameturish. Nevermind that almost all of their content lacks substance and depth. What they should be worried about is their careless and irresponsible management of their magazine.

The first issue was obviously hurried (explains the three typos on the front cover), and the second issue with Linda Lingle was DELAYED a month because they were disorganized. Now the Mazie Hirono cover will be out after the election, which is a big gamble for HWM. If Mazie wins, it looks great. If Mazie loses, they look dumb, and most of all incompetent. And only now they decide they're going bi-monthly?

Considering they can't remember half the things they commit to, can't pay their writers on time, and don't have ANY experience running a magazine, it is quite obvious if things persist in the direction they are going, HWM will fold in less than a year.

In other words, the magazine falls very short of any expectations the general public may have had for it.

 
Posted by raevyn808 on November 5, 2002 9:14 PM:

It reminds me of those Hawaii Bridal magazines that feature the same advertisements season after season. The only thing that's different in the issues are the wedding photo submissions. $32 for a year's subscription? Crazy, Hawaii Woman!

 
Posted by Someone who is in this magazine company!!!! on May 21, 2004 8:51 PM:

First of all, look!!!!!! We made it for 2 YEARS!!!!!!!! And we prove all of u guyz wrong!!!!!!!!!!! WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!!!!! You hear me!!!!!! WRONG!!!!!!! Just to make it clear to everyone, we are NOT CRAZY!!!!!! You know what all of u people!!!!!! It ain't easy to do these people's job's so I would suggest keeping your two sense businesses out!!!!!! You guyz think you can write better!!!!!!!!!! I didn't think so!!!!!!! I love our website!!!!! If u don't like it, make a better one for us!!!!!!!!!!!!

 
Posted by Ryan on May 23, 2004 12:05 AM:

Ah, a devoted employee makes a strong case for the kind of writing skill and professionalism we can apparently expect permeates the heart and soul of Hawaii Woman magazine.

I wouldn't know, though... I haven't seen a copy of it since it came up here nearly two years ago.

 
Posted by Laura Tillman on November 9, 2005 10:44 AM:

Hi there

I have been given the task of getting links for our websites that have good page rank on the links directories.
In addition we have many categories so your site will be place on an appropriate page.
If you would like to trade links please send me your website linking details.
Our apologies if you do not wish to take part in a link exchange.

Best Regards,

Laura Tillman

laura_tillman@o2.pl

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