Notes in the key of C

I’m not sure what turned my brain in THIS direction, but you’re here with me now, so…consider this, if you will.
Here’s my take on how the same distance becomes “close” or “not even close” and “long” or “not very long”. Take one foot, twelve inches. If you try to hit a target and miss it by twelve inches, you weren’t even close.
However, if you almost get run over by a passing car and it just misses you by a foot, “whew!”, THAT was CLOSE. If you fall off the side of a hill but only drop a couple feet, that’s a real short drop. But if you have a NOSE that’s a foot long, THAT is a really, long nose.
If you’re in a car and only seven miles from home, that’s a short distance and you’re close to home. But if you’re airborne in a plane, flying at 35,000 feet, that’s less than seven miles, but a LONG, LONG, WAY UP and a long way down, especially if the plane develops engine problems.
Okay, okay….just one more. If the hair on your head is a foot long, that may or may not be categorized as being extremely long. However, if the same length of hair is growing in your armpits (nasty!!), nostrils (that’s sick!), or ears? (that’s sick and Guiness Book of World Records stuff)….. That’s IT!! I’m stopping right here.

I’m warning you right now. I’m just venting my frustrations and whining about injustice in the workplace. It’s not enough to just do a good job, show up on time every day, not complain about the tasks you are asked to perform, go out of your way to help out whenever and wherever your assistance is needed, offer creative input, fresh ideas and solutions to increase sales and solve problems. Promotions and pay raises are not based on attitude, attendance, performance, experience or achievement. Noooooooooo….it doesn’t work that way in the REAL world. Waaaaaaaaaaah! If you don’t have the right connections, get in tight with the right people, suck up, brown-nose, kiss a.., and bow down to the powers-that-be, don’t hold your breath waiting for recognition and appreciation.
In the REAL WORLD, it’s all about downsizing, multi-tasking, and seeing your job description expanding as people keep leaving, without being replaced. Work harder, work faster, do more. You say you want more money? Dream on! Christmas bonus? Profit sharing? Are you kidding? Cost-of-living increase? Eat less and squeeze that dollar a little bit harder, brother.
You’d better accept the fact that YOU are the only one who gives a damn how far up the corporate ladder you go. Even though, it may not be a case of “in-your-face” discriminatory behavior, well, you know how the old saying goes, “if it smells like bull sh–, it must be bull sh–”. If you don’t roll over, speak, or beg, don’t expect any bones to be thrown in your direction. THAT’S the bottom line.
WOW! I feel a little better already!!!!

For years, I lived in the same rental house about a couple of miles west of here. EVERY DAY…..without exception, you could hear the distant sound of sirens and within seconds, a police car, fire truck or ambulance would race by our house. The consistent noise of traffic passing seemed to continue without regard to the time of day. Just about every night, the police helicopter would circle the area with spotlight illuminating the ground, searching for somebody. Over and over again. Round and round and I’m thinking to myself, “Damn, when are they going to get out of here and let me go back to sleep?”. It might be in the wee hours of the morning when the sound of rotors overhead would snatch me from dreamland to reality. More than once, the police S.W.A.T. team gathered in the bank parking lot across the street, passing out automatic assault weapons, and strapping on their helmets and kevlar bulletproof vests, apparently preparing for a surprise visit and rude awakening at someone’s house or apartment nearby. I stepped out late one night to see why the dogs were raising Cain, walked across the street to a little used car lot and stood outside the fence in the darkness, watching two guys sneaking between the cars as if I wasn’t there. I guess the used car lot became a midnight “discount” auto supply after closing time. I walked calmly back to the house, called the police and both of them got a free ride downtown. Too bold, too stupid and too lazy to get a real job. Got caught and will pay the price!
I recall waking another night to the sounds of approaching sirens. I jumped out of bed, peeked out through the blinds just in time to see a truck, traveling at a high rate of speed, loose control, flip over and go skidding down the street, upside down, sparks flying from it’s roof and spraying off the pavement. Close behind was a police car, lights flashing, siren screaming. And by the time the truck skidded to a stop, two cops had pulled up behind, stopped and exited their vehicle, pistol and shotgun drawn and pointed at the occupants of the truck, who crawled slowly out of the wreckage. Real, live, good guy, bad guy action right outside my front door as if I was watching an episode of “Cops” being filmed for TV. It was time to get out of there.
So, we moved. We found a home and a peaceful, quiet refuge just a couple of miles away. I had difficulty sleeping for the first few nights. It was just too quiet. Look out the front window?………not a thing happening and not so much as a single car going by. I might just as well have stepped through a time warp into a different world. Quiet streets, friendly neighbors in an area where one everyone feels safe enough to take walks with family and pets or just sit out on the front porch in the evening as the sun goes down. One city, two worlds and two miles seperating both places. Incredible but true.

1) People who do unprovoked acts of stupidity such as “keying” someone’s car, throwing trash where it doesn’t belong, park their car and take up two spaces, park in handicapped parking when they’re obviously not handicapped (except mentally, it would seem).
2) People who feel they are owed financial reparations because they’re ancestors had been enslaved and/or mistreated hundreds of years ago. (While few might disagree that many of different racial backgrounds were persecuted in some way throughout history, should those who had no part of this injustice be forced to pay a price for the sins and mistakes of others who came before us? I DON’T THINK SO!!!
3) People who, while being quite capable of working and earning a living choose to abuse the system by accepting welfare, food stamps, etc.
4) People who burglarize, shoplift, jack cars, commit acts of violence against women, children and animals.
5) Those who pay little or no income tax wanting more tax breaks and those who believe someone should give more simply because they earn more. Isn’t that the way things are right now? Isn’t a greater portion of income tax revenues being paid by those whose income falls in the top 40% of wage earners in the country.   An overhaul of the system is long overdue.
6) Huge pay raises our so-called “public servants” in government are able to give themselves without our approval. Try doing that where YOU work. Would someone tell me how THAT got started and who voted for THAT?

So, isn’t this a great country to live in? Even with all the social misfits, menaces to society, low-lifes, back-stabbers and blood-sucking, won’t-get-a-job, crackpipe-smoking, unemployment-milking people around, there just no place else I’d rather be. LIFE IS GOOD, ISN’T IT?

Sometimes I sits…..and I thinks and I reflects ….to back in my younger days and to how different things are today. The phrase ” child abuse” must not have existed back then, because if you stepped out of line in school, you either got verbal abuse, the ruler on the knuckles or palm of the hand or, worse than that, the “board of education” making repeated close encounters on an area of your body that you normally sat down on, your okole. I remember getting my taste of it in the fifth grade, after trying to knock Tommy G.’s eye out with a solid right hook during recess.
Back then, if you had a problem with someone, you settled right there and then, behind the gym, or by the Burger Mill, after school. It was bare fist and will power. Now, kids barely out of three-cornered pants (diapers, for those of you who didn’t know) are bringing knives and guns to school and settling differences in a more vicious and violent way. Shootings in the schools, stabbings on the bus and drive-bys, things that were unheard of back then, are front-page news we see so often, the shock effect has been lost.
Child abuse in the home today was what we knew as discipline when I was a kid. I remember one of dad’s favorite lines, “Don’t let me pull my belt!” Us kids KNEW what THAT meant. Because when that belt came out, there was no where to run and hide…..and only two ways you got beaten(HARD and HARDER). I used to watch my other brothers get “the belt” and feel their pain until mom would step in and make him stop. Hah! Where was Child Protective Services and Domestic Intervention Services back then. You misbehaved, you paid the price. It was simple as that. Today, you spank your kids and they call it child abuse. The parents are in trouble and the kids get taken away and put in a foster home.
Where is that happy medium between child abuse and the needed discipline that too many kids are not getting? Where is the proper guidance they are not receiving at home and in school that lead to an ever-growing population of young thugs and gangbangers who will turn to a life of crime and violence, claim innocent victims, die early or end up in the prison system?
Things were so different in so many ways back then. The lines between right and wrong were more clearly defined when I was a kid. Today’s child grows up in a more complex and violent environment but parental guidance is still a key to the choices he/she will make and the path that is chosen.

As a result of my quest several years ago to become a proficient and successful deer hunter, here’s what I refer to as my own……
Reasons why opening day of bowhunting season was the first and last day of hunting for me:
1) Took thirty minutes of climbing up and slipping back down the tree trunk to get high enough to find a spot for my tree stand that lay folded at the base of the tree and had to pull up by an attached rope to where I was.
2) Dropped the bow while pulling up the tree stand and had to climb back down.
3) Dropped my gloves after setting up the tree stand and had to go back down.
4) Used every four-letter word and the Lord’s name in vain more times that I could count during that ordeal at a volume that could be heard from Mike’s tree stand on the other side of the wooded area. (He told me later he sat there and laughed his a– off the whole time.)
5) Had to try and sit there motionless as a squirrel, who was unhappy I had chosen HIS tree to hunt from, showed up at a branch above me and chattered and complained about me being there.
6) Sat there freezing for what seemed like hours without seeing a single deer. (I wonder why!!) Apparently THEY KNOW when deer season opens, too.
7) AND……(Drum roll)….the SEVENTH and FINAL reason……when I finally saw a deer and it ventured close enough for me to take a shot…..I pulled back on the bow, took aim….but
I couldn’t bring myself to take that shot. (Truth be known, if I had, I probably would have been so far off target that the deer would have died….laughing.)
Oh, well……I suppose it means the closest experience I’ll have to bringing home fresh meat is taking the car and the cash to the meat department of the supermarket and picking out a nice steak.

Here’s a free plug for the makers of Saturn. Unsolicited for sure, but nevertheless, it’s my take, from a brand-faithful, completely satisfied, four-time Saturn owner. Sure, this car may not have had the highest ratings in every category by Consumer magazine, but considering the overall performance and reliability, gas mileage and the BIG PLUS, CUSTOMER SERVICE. In my book, this company sells a great car and backs it with excellent service after the sale.
Coming soon? That new Saturn “SKY”, sports car. Saw it and loved it! OOOOOOOOOOOOOh, Baby! Saturn # 5. Gotta have it!

It’s easy to remember days when I would never even consider watching golf on TV, much less wasting my time playing the game.
My how the years can change our minds about things that seemed foolish to us. A good friend of mine picked up a cheap set of clubs at a garage sale just for the hell of it and went out and started playing. He seemed to think it was lots of fun and good exercise, so, I thought “Hmmm!” if it’s good exercise, why not?
Did you ever notice that in most cases, the people who sell golf clubs at garage sales seem to be clueless about the game and bear little resemblance to a real golfer. Two or three different brands of clubs in one bag tell me these probably moved here from another garage sale.
Nevertheless, with Mike’s encouragement, I took on the game. No instruction books, no lessons, no videos to watch, just the old learn-as-you- go technique. I watched a little of it on CBS Saturday….that was all I needed to get started. We tried the driving range. Sometimes we accidentally hit the ball but most of the time, we carved out chunks of dirt and grass or missed altogether. When people next to you suddenly grab their stuff and move over and away, you know you’re beginning to earn a little respect. Either that or your last swing came a little too close for comfort.
It used to cost us about $7.50 to play a round at the “cow pasture” Country Club. You knew where the greens where, because they had flags stuck in a hole and the grass was just a lttle bit shorter then the rest of the course. You had watch out for poison ivy and snakes near the par-5, sixth hole. And just forget about keeping score. Trying to keep the ball in play and out of the bushes was hard enough. And at the 7th hole, near the road, we let all the traffic go by first before taking a swing. Simply put, it was nine holes and 2 1/2 hours of fall-on-the-ground, side-splitting, almost peeing-in- your pants golf. And good exercise in the hot sun, too. So, what’s wrong with that? A workout, tan and a bellyful of laughs, all for $7.50.