A Day In The Life of….DA DEERHUNTER!
As a result of my quest several years ago to become a proficient and successful deer hunter, here’s what I refer to as my own……
Reasons why opening day of bowhunting season was the first and last day of hunting for me:
1) Took thirty minutes of climbing up and slipping back down the tree trunk to get high enough to find a spot for my tree stand that lay folded at the base of the tree and had to pull up by an attached rope to where I was.
2) Dropped the bow while pulling up the tree stand and had to climb back down.
3) Dropped my gloves after setting up the tree stand and had to go back down.
4) Used every four-letter word and the Lord’s name in vain more times that I could count during that ordeal at a volume that could be heard from Mike’s tree stand on the other side of the wooded area. (He told me later he sat there and laughed his a– off the whole time.)
5) Had to try and sit there motionless as a squirrel, who was unhappy I had chosen HIS tree to hunt from, showed up at a branch above me and chattered and complained about me being there.
6) Sat there freezing for what seemed like hours without seeing a single deer. (I wonder why!!) Apparently THEY KNOW when deer season opens, too.
7) AND……(Drum roll)….the SEVENTH and FINAL reason……when I finally saw a deer and it ventured close enough for me to take a shot…..I pulled back on the bow, took aim….but
I couldn’t bring myself to take that shot. (Truth be known, if I had, I probably would have been so far off target that the deer would have died….laughing.)
Oh, well……I suppose it means the closest experience I’ll have to bringing home fresh meat is taking the car and the cash to the meat department of the supermarket and picking out a nice steak.