Notes in the key of C

Don’t you just get sick of hearing it? Another juvenile crime committed and a slap on the hand, “don’t do it again!” warning is about all the person gets. Read all about it, neighbor. If it’s not happening on your street, you can believe it’s going on close by. Whether it’s drive-by shootings, home invasions, carjacking, armed robberies, purse-snatching, auto theft or shoplifting, the crime rate involving juveniles under 18 keeps going up as the age of offender drops down below the teens. Who can say how old a child is before they understand right and wrong and should take responsibility for the crimes they commit. However, existing laws already make their parents or guardian culpable for the actions of their children. Are those laws enforced? When’s the last time you heard that parents were going to be punished for the “sins” of the child. An eye for an eye is can be a brutal policy to follow when anyone, regardless of age commits an act of violence against others that result in injury or death. Serious crimes call for serious punishment and a message needs to be sent out by example to young criminals (under 18) and those responsible for their upbringing and behaviour, that age will not excuse them for paying a price for wrong choices made. Throw the parents in jail with their little delinquent child and let them all sit behind bars for awhile. (Just a thought.) Commit a “adult” crime, get prosecuted as an adult, without a free pass out when you turn 21, and without getting your felony record erased. Young punks, barely out of “three-cornered pants” (that’s “diapers”, for you people living in Rio Linda) think it’s cool to be a criminal. Wear your pants sagged low under you ass cheeks and be a tough guy and someday you may end up with a bunch of other tough guys, behind bars where your pants will be a sagging because you won’t have a belt to hold it up. Until we get serious and do SOMETHING different about delivering suitable punishment to ALL persons responsible, directly or indirectly, the innocent will continue to pay dearly, and the juvenile crime rate will continue to rise.
That’s MY story and I am sticking to it.

Feeling a little comfy at YOUR job today? Apparently YOU don’t live in a “right-to-work” state! Be careful because the chair you’re sitting in could be suddenly and unceremoniously jerked out from under you. Then you’ll find your bony ass (and I’m assuming it’s bony and not “ample”) on the floor and out the door.
Correct me if I’m wrong, will you? In a so-called “right-to-work ” state, you can be fired for any reason or no reason, with no recourse. Laws favor the employer, not the employee. How sweet it is! Sooooooooooo……. if you’re working environment is one that smacks of excessive back-stabbing, brown-nosing, ass-kissing, bullshit-story-telling, corporate-ladder climbing, yes sir, no sir, anything-you-say sir, your absolutely right, sir, when-do-you-want-me-to-pull-the-trigger, sir, A..HOLES, and you’re not one of them, don’t be arranging family photos on the wall of your office, thinking that next payday will always be right around the corner. Becaussssssse…… next payday might end up being something one receives while bending over. Now there’s a good reason for keeping a low profile, your eyes wide open and your resume, updated and handy.
WORK HARD AND YOUR EFFORTS WILL BE REWARDED! Sounds like Ripley’s Believe It Or Knot! That’s right! Because if you believe it, you must have knots on and IN your head. Oh! So, YOU’RE the LUCKY one and your boss DOES appreciate and reward you for your efforts? A rare situation. Reality in the world where I live tells me that it’s every man for himself at this job. Because a call for justice and fair play is as fruitless as the search for reasons why things aren’t that way. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, BROTHER!

It’s amazing and depressing at the same time to think that mere words we choose can be degrading, cause pain and incite violence.
Consider some things that come to mind. THE “N’ WORD!! At what point did that become the “N” word become NOT right for someone who isn’t black to call someone who IS black, but okay if both persons are black. I don’t get it. We’re not all just Americans anymore, I guess. We’re African-Americans, or Asian-Americans, or Mexican-Americans. We can be black without appearing to be black, we’re Oriental because our eyes our slanted and not because we came from or have ever even been to Japan, China, Korea, Vietnam or any other far eastern nation. Many of us came here from another country but more of us were born and raised in the U.S.A. Chicano? Ooops! I mean Hispanic….I mean Mexican-American? If you’re originally from Mexico and living in the U.S. legally, you’re Hispanic and a Mexican-American. However, if you sneaked across the border and don’t have a green card, I guess that means you’re still Hispanic, but now you’re a Mexican, disguised as an American. If you speak Spanish, you might be Mexican-American unless you’re from Costa Rica, which would make you a Costa Rican- American. Now if you emigrated from India, and became an American citizen, you’re now an Indian-American. But if you’re actually part or full-blooded Indian, then you’re native-American, but not Indian-American. You never hear fair-skinned people referred to as Caucasian-Americans, do you? What difference does it REALLY make in your life whether or not your “roots” are here or in another country? Is it just a pipe dream to believe that it is possible for different people of different “color”, from different backgrounds, practicing no religion or different religions can still live in harmony? Borrowing a line from an old Beatle song, I say “Let it be…..”.

“A very famous writer is known to have said “What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. Just the same, a fart is still a fart, no matter what you call it. Whether it’s “passing gas”, “breaking wind”, “dropping the bomb”, “turning one loose”, “making a fluffy”,”ripping one”, or squeezing one off, you can call it anything and the bottom line is that it still stinks. But not to everyone that smells it, though. Let’s be honest now! When it’s YOU who did it, it stinks to everyone else but doesn’t really smell that bad to you, now does it? Think about THIS! If someone near you passes gas and it really DOESN’T smell that bad, who’s going to be the one to say, “Hmmmmm, that smells pretty good. Do it again!” It’ll never happen.
Guys will fart anytime, anywhere and usually not even try to be quiet about it. They just turn it loose and let everybody else suffer. Now women fart, too….but proper protocol and etiquette require that they not make a noise when they do it and never, ever admit to being responsible for it! If you’re with someone and she farts, it would behoove you not to even mention it. Just pretend it never happened. If you’re walking, pick up the pace and if you’re sitting with her somewhere, pray for a breeze of some kind. If you DO make a comment, two things you would NOT say would be, “Hmmmmm! What kind of perfume is it that you’re wearing? Is that Chanel No. TWO?”……or….. “If that smell is coming from the kitchen, let’s go somewhere else to eat”. Sometimes farts happen unexpectedly. “Ooops!” Don’t lie! You’ve done that, too. The next thing you do is look around to see if anyone noticed it, or act like nothing happened.
Farts come in an endless number of different flavors. I’ve heard that farting is the result of gases produced from undigested food. Essentially, you fart what you eat , which begs the question, “At what point does solid food turn into poisonous, flammable, offensive gas?”. You can even customize the odor by eating certain foods. Different food, different aroma. “Had some refried beans last night, did you?” Sometimes, if you hang around with someone often enough, you get to a point where you can tell if they’re responsible when the air quality takes a sudden turn for the worse. You recognize their “flavor”, so to speak. You can look at them and they can acknowledge and admit guilt without a word ever having been spoken. Some have advanced the act of farting to an art; a second language, if you will. Just a little practice and a lot of control and all of sudden, it’s almost like hearing someone talking with their nostrils squeezed shut. There’s a recognizable rise and fall of pitch, followed a increasing feeling of nausea and dizziness. Do it when you’re dog’s laying near you and the dog will get up, give you that “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!!” look, and move somewhere else.
Okay……try this! You’re in a room with a bunch of other people around you. Quietly let one go, wait a few seconds until it’s obvious the vapors have spread to those around you. Then blame the person next to you, while commenting on how disgusting it was. Or…….. just before you’re ready to leave the room, quietly squeeze out a good one. Then, just get up and walk out. It’s not that I would ever do anything like THAT. OKAY….I would. But that’s another story for another day.