Harder….and Faster!!!!
All right! I know you think YOU know what I’m referring to, but you’re wronnnnnnnngggggg!
Big meeting at work this morning. Yes…that’s right… ANOTHER one. What NOW???? These friggin’ meetings are driving me up the damn wall, homey! I hear ” Stick around…meeting’s at nine thirty…make that ten….make that whenever I finally show up from wherever the hell I’m coming from”. OOPS! Something’s come up….no meeting today.
My opinion? Listen, Mr. I’m-the-manager-and-what-I-say-is-gospel, if you just want to hold another meeting so you can hear yourself talk, do any of the rest of us, that have better things to do, have to be there? Can we just make cardboard cutouts of ourselves for you? That way you can set’em up in your office, have as many meetings as you desire and talk until your face turns blue. Our expressions will be the just about the same. How about animated, voice-synthesized cutouts that nod periodically and say, “Uh-huh!” every time you stop talking long enough to catch your breath?
The employee count just went down by one more warm body the other day. One more disillusioned person leaving for greener pastures. We KNOW what THAT means, don’t we? That’s right. If we were already multi-tasking now, we’re going to have manage our time a little more efficiently and do a little multi-multi-tasking. We ( the “Survivors”) all get our fair share of the additional load and to be able to bear that burden, we must (yeah, you got it) work harder and faster. And if I find more on my plate than I can possibly do and don’t get it all done, well then,…they could just terminate me for not doing my job. Hmmmm….sounds fair! Maybe I’ll get voted out at the next “tribal council”! Damn it! I should have tried a little harder to win immunity because I’m definitely not going to be able to out-butt-kiss, out-brown nose, or out- backstab the competitors.