Notes in the key of C

     I’ve alway found those William Shatner “Priceline” commercials to be mildly funny and somewhat entertaining but never had the opportunity to use Priceline until recently.  Everyone knows that Priceline allows you to bid for lower rates on travel, car rental, hotels, etc.  Well, I must say that my overall experience has been  a nice surprise.  Great places to stay at what most would consider very reasonably priced.   For a 50-dollar bid,  we spent nights at very fine hotels like Courtyard by Mariott and Garden Inns by Hilton. Very nice. Clean, well maintained, down comforters, flat screen Tv’s, wireless Internet service (complimentary) and all the trimmings.  Of course, the BEST, or should I say the WORST of what Priceline bidding produced came on the last night in town.  The initial bid was rejected so I had to bump it up another few bucks.  You know that when you bid for a room, you can choose the quality level by the number of “stars” a hotel is rated at but once you submit your bid, you do not get to choose which one you stay at.  It’s a crap shoot.  And for the second bid, plus tax and the other stuff they tack on to the rental rate to milk as many dollars as they can out of you,  we got the “Red Lion”.  Now I would be quick to say that surely not every hotel that bears the “Red Lion” name is in the same condition as this one.  But it’s location, at the end of the road in a eerily dark corner along business I-80 should have been a clue.  Beat up and rundown, with a major portion of the rooms blocked off with yellow caution tape should kinda give you an idea of this place.  Kinda scary.   Our room was all the way around the back in semi-darkness where several other weary travelers had been sentenced to spend the night.  Complimentary bottled “Water for the Soul” provided in the room tasted like it might have been drawn from the toilet bowl, the rooms had adjoining doors, (can you say “Bates Motel” or “Psycho”?) and the water pressure in the shower head was adequate only if you had a lot of time to kill in the shower.  Not much more than a trickle!  Two-and-a-half-stars-plus?  That’s a laugh. On a scale of one to five stars,  I give the Red Lion, Arden Way, Sacramento…….one star…….BUT…..and in fairness to the establishment I must add that they seemed to be in the middle of some major (and sorely needed) renovation.  When all of that is completed, it should look alot better.  See….I’m fair.

Priceline…….Bill?……..I’m a believer and I will be using your website again soon!

     Okay,  so it didn’t seem like we’d been airborne too long and I notice that we’re starting to lose altitude.  First sign? I can feel my ears popping as the plane makes it’s descent and I take a peek out the window.   I know we’re supposed to make one stop on the way to Sacramento and that’s in Ontario (no, not Canada) California and as the plane gets lower and lower in the sky,  I remembered that the last time I was on a plane making a stop in Ontario that we had to fly through a huge cloud of smog suspended over the city like a thick, brown blanket of lung cancer and you couldn’t actually tell you were going to land on anything solid until the plane was nearly on the ground.  But where was that infamous brown cloud?  You could actually see the highways and landscape dotted with homes and businesses.  And then the answer came when I heard the pilot say, ”Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Phoenix, ……..   What???? Phoenix?  What the ….?  THAT’S why the skies over “Ontario” looked so clear.  We had a stopover there (in Phoenix) to dump some off and pick some up before continuing on to California. Let’s get the record straight.  I like Phoenix.  I like Arizona and a ”few miles” due north of Phoenix is a little place called Sedona that’s more spectacular than mere words can express.   Take me home country road!!!!!   Oh, mama!!!  THAT is my retirement destination of choice,  second only to a little piece of real estate on or near the north shore of  a certain Pacific island location.

     Arizona…….someday……I’ll stray…….your way……to stay.  Beautiful country, dry heat ( I can take it) and lots of sunshine. But…….back to the plane trip!   It’s those multiple take-offs and landings  one has to make to reach one’s destination that seems to draw particular attention to how rough and bumpy those runways really are.  Check it out the next time you fly.  With my death grip on the armrests, I’m just waiting for one or more of those tires to blow up.   The phrase “smooth landing” certainly was not referring to any plane that I’ve been on.  One would think that when these runways are built they put in the potholes in random spots to keep the airline passengers, who are already stressing from the flight on the edge of their seats until the plane stops at the terminal.

So, anyway, it’s up and down, takeoff and land and finally destination…Sacramento, California.  We made it!!  Now I can finally relax……that is…….relax until I pick up the rental car tomorrow and have to drive in this California traffic, where everyone’s a race car driver, in a hurry or late getting wherever they’re going.  Got some Valium’s that you can spare?

     So, I tell myself, “What am I worried about anyway?”  As I prepare to board this plane to California, what are the chances of it NOT making and making an unexpected stop somewhere between here and there? What are the odds? 1,000,000 to 1?  1,000 to 1?  100 to 1? 50/50?  Nothing’s going to happen! We’ll take off and land right on schedule, right?  I’m concerned for no reason,  I keep telling myself.  Why worry? Flying is supposed to be safer than driving, isn’t it.  Besides,  those airline mechanics are highly qualified to maintain the airplanes.  But then, mistakes DO happen.  What if one of them, who just happen to work on one of the planes I’ll be on,  just happens to come to work drunk, hung over or on drugs?  What if he’s a disgruntled employee who wants to get even with his boss and takes it out on the plane by leaving a bolt or two loose or something like that?  I won’t ever know until it’s too late!  What if the pilot is drunk?   What if we get caught in a lightning storm halfway there?  I’m being paranoid!  I’m stressing over nothing.   Why worry?  Once we get in the air, that’s it!  No turning back!  It’s out of my hands.  So I’m just going to quit worrying about it and get on that plane.  But wait…….I don’t HAVE to get on the plane.  That’s  right!  If I just change my mind (and I can do that) then I won’t  have to worry at all about not making it and planes going down.  I can drive to California instead.

     I think that’s what I’ll do.  No problem there.  It’ll take a little longer to get there but I won’t have to worry about anything…..EXCEPT……..drunk drivers on the road……..bad weather causing part of my route to be temporarily shut down…….my car breaking down in the middle of nowhere.

Guess I’ll take my chances with the plane