What’s your definition of love?
I am learning over the course of more than twenty years of adulthood that while my definition of love has evolved some have not. I am not addressing the love of a mother for their child or even God’s love, that’s a whole ‘nother dynamic, but moreover the love within a relationship between two people.
It’s quite simple, my definition of love is, it’s an action word. It’s more than just “three little words” or an intense, overwhelming sensation in the center of the torso. It’s more than a change in diet or sleep pattern. It’s more than just great sex or a showering of our materialistic desires. These are or should be the results of love, a bi-product if you will.
Let’s delve into the “action” portion of my definition. Again, it too is simple, because I love you, therefore I will show you. I will show you in my words, through communication, listening, acknowledgment, encouragement, respecting your point of view…agreeing to disagree. I will show you in my gifts of adornment, buying the precise desire of your heart rather than the latest trend, unless that’s the desire of your heart, but at least it will be in the right size, color, and gift wrapping. I will show you in my support while you’re in pursuit of your dreams, researching on your behalf to assist in your achievement. I will show you by drawing you a bath and locking you away from the hustle and bustle of the end of the day activities, requesting only that you emerge from your bath when you are content and willing…whenever that may be. I will show you in acknowledging my faults and weaknesses, processing my wrong doings, progressing to requesting forgiveness with a sincerity to change…and actually change.
Time and time again I have heard from many people, “I know she cheated on me, but we love each other” or “I know he doesn’t spend time with the kids and I anymore, but he pays the rent so he does love us” or worse yet, “I know we fight all the time, but one day last week we didn’t so we must love each other”. This is not love (or my definition of it), and moreover the progression to forgiveness and change requires boundaries (but that’s a whole ‘nother blog).
In order for me to arrive at my definition, it foremost required a blue print of an example of love; followed by heartache, tons of mistaken identity of love, and soul searching. Love is something learned through experience, it’s not genetic, it’s cultural.
My definition of love works for me, and my current situation, we agree to agree that this is our definition of love. Anything less would not be love.
What is your definition of love?
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