“Extra napkins” is a necessity and a luxury all in one. It’s a comfort. If you don’t believe me, observe Hawaii residents during the threat of any natural disaster or worse yet, a longshoreman strike and you’ll witness record breaking purchases of “extra napkins.”
Make a purchase via drive-thru or at any food court, and they treat their napkins as their prized commodity. Employees are trained to peel off two, very thin pieces; it’s almost an art. To ask for “extra napkins” seems almost sinful as if you’ve asked for their first born!
Visit a public restroom, and pull down a square at a time from the largest roll of toilet paper created, they really don’t want you taking anymore than you’re capable. And, the dispensers are locked and secured more than some of the products sold in stores. You can attempt to shoplift from the electronics department, but you won’t be able to take their toilet paper from the courtesy stalls.
The level of irritation after spilling something in your car depends on the contents of the middle counsel or side compartment. Open it up, and find “extra napkins” and you’re calm, in a state of immediate resolution. But to find no “extra napkins” rationalizes a day‘s worth of grouchiness, not to mention ‘stink eye’ to the one you suspect used the last one.
The same goes with nasal drip. Unless you’re comfortable with snot on the sleeve of your shirt or the inside of your collar having “extra napkins” is like Linus and his blanket, comfort. And the worst situation of all, completing your “bathroom business” only to find the toiler paper holder empty, as well as the cabinet under the sink!Since I’ve been able to identify the luxury of “extra napkins,” it’s become my adjective in describing anything desirable.
“Hey check out that girl, yup…extra napkins!”
“Ooh did you see his arms? Extra napkins!”
“Did you hear about that kid who unlocked the iPhone? He’s extra napkins!”
The comfort you feel when you have “extra napkins” is almost unnoticed, until you don’t have it.
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August 26th, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Brilliant. I, too, have noticed how carefully guarded napkins are at most eateries these days. I guess the things are expensive, and folks tend to take more than they need… but considering how much actual food goes to waste, not to mention the prevalence of inhuman 30-gallon “Mondo Huge Gulp” serving sizes, I’d rather be able to have a few extra napkins on hand than another handful of fries.
August 26th, 2007 at 7:12 pm
This is a scream! I thought it was my imagination. I noticed this several years ago with McDonald’s on Fort Street. People used to stock their desk drawers with them so it’s no surprise. I’ve gotten to the point where I will ask. They do get irritated but, too bad. I need at least three to get through a meal.
September 7th, 2007 at 10:04 am
trueeeee.