Many of you will recall the popular television series, “The Bionic Woman” starring actress Lindsay Wagner whose character, Jaime Sommers, although mortal, possessed superhero like powers through medical implants. She had “amplified hearing, super strength in her right arm, and enhanced legs that allowed her to run faster than a speeding car”. “The Bionic Woman” was a spin-off of another popular series, “The Six Million Dollar Man,” starring Lee Majors who too possessed superhero like powers the same as Sommers, with the exception that instead of a bionic ear, he had a bionic eye.
On September 26, NBC will debut its new television series “Bionic Woman” starring, British thespian Michelle Ryan. All of this bionic buzz had me a bit nostalgic for the 70’s, and of course thinking of my dear Lilinoe and her own “bionic” left leg. But mostly it reminded me that I was raised by a Mother with a bionic nose
Now, our family was one centered around athletics, and so at one time or another one or all of the children were covered from head to toe in dirt from the Ala Wai baseball fields or soaked in sweat from an intense basketball practice at McKinley gym or just dirty from a good game of “Sky Inning” on Evelyn Lane against the “Yoshida’s.”
As I walked from the practice field toting my bag, feeling the gravel that had gotten into my shoes, I noticed that not only my cleats, but the exposed skin from my socks to the elastic on my softball pants were caked in dirt. And the sweat had only made it transform into a thin layer of mud.
I could see my Mom about 50 yards away in her “work clothes” chit chatting with the other parents waiting for their little athletes. She was smiling and laughing seeming to be engaged in her conversation, until I noticed the little crinkle in her nose, and then her right-hand on her hip with her weight shifting just slightly to her left leg. She didn’t break her conversation or her smile, but I knew that even though I was still a couple of dime yards away, my Mom, well she could “smell” me!
Her bionic nose detected spoiled food, although the refrigerator was shut; if the garbage man was late on the weekly pick up; and well our family Olympics of Flatulence! She even had “threat levels” but they weren’t as sophisticated as the Homeland Security’s color coded system, it was just the amount of crinkling and the question that followed.
“What’s that smell?” usually was a mild odor, nothing too threatening and disease free.
“Oh hauna!” was usually botulism and penicillin growing on the left-overs in the fridge.
“STINKO!” was usually my Dad or brother or me or whoever “claimed it.”
“HAUNA BAUNA” was the highest threat level that scorched the nose hairs. This meant all hands on deck, to clean the house from top to bottom, every bit of trash although it wasn’t trash prior to the threat level was disposed of, all laundry washed, dried, folded and put away.
Once on a trip to California we had planned on staying with family, and after taking the redeye from Honolulu we were all a bit exhausted, however when we walked into the house, “HAUNA BAUNA!”
Now that I think of it, I should apologize to my Mom for the torture I put her through during my “Miami Vice” fashion days! For those of you who weren’t raised on the pastel television show, their fashion required covered shoes with no socks!
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September 6th, 2007 at 9:58 am
CDFU!!! I LOVE READING YOUR BLOGS…THIS ONE IS TOO FUNNY!