INFINITY.

With 2007 only hours away from being officially over, both Lilinoe and I agree that it was a year of new beginnings, unexpected opportunities, and most importantly put closure to many issues we each begrudgingly carried year after year. The following is a summary of our 2007:

JANUARY:

We rang in 2007 exactly the same way we will 2008, on the island of Maui. My sister and her family live in Lahaina, and since we had such a good time, we decided to make it a tradition.

FEBRUARY:

Knowing that a solid foundation is a key ingredient to contributing to a stable and healthy environment, realizing that our friendship is progressing and growing to one of complete trust and appreciation, and after several hours of vulnerable discussions, Lilinoe and I decide to “shack up”…err, co-habitate, effective March 1, 2007.

MARCH:

After more than a decade away from the sport, I made a commitment to coach 9-10 year old girls in a youth basketball league with one of my father’s former players. I was practically raised on the hardwood floor, and my life choices had led me away accepting that any accolades achieved were simply appreciated as something of the past. In other words, I wasn’t drinking beer in a friend’s garage talking about how great we were in the good ol’ eighties. Besides, basketball had evolved and so had the dynamics of competitive sports altogether.

These days, parents are grooming their children for the collegiate level at this age, and I certainly did not want any part of this progress, but I had a plan. Teach the players the fundamentals of basketball, team concept, and representing themselves to the best of their capabilities, and if we happen to win a couple of games, great. The league gave us an appropriate team name, “Shock” because after starting the season at 5-0 many of the veterans were asking, “Who are the new coaches?” I’ll add that my friend, whom is really a long-time family friend had been out of the game longer than I had, and by trade was a Kumu hula. So, our players were coordinated in not only uniform, but hairstyle and all of the plays were in Hawaiian. We ended our season tied for second place, but it was the friendships that I built with the parents, grandparents, aunties, uncles, and of course the players that are bringing me back for another season.

APRIL:

We received a letter from the Kamehameha Schools informing us that Jayden has been accepted into the preschool. We are filled with gratitude, and humbled for the opportunity. Now, our only goal “perfect the potty training!” For a few months we had been working with Jayden, making the transition from pull-ups to underwear as seamless as possible, but I’ll admit the process was testing the limits of my patience. But, the day we shared the letter from Kamehameha Schools with Jayden, he was “instantly” potty trained. No more overnight accidents or debates of preferring to wear a pull-up instead of underwear. Both Lilinoe and I realized that attending school was important enough for Jayden to understand that he had to be potty-trained.

MAY:

Our basketball season ended at the end of the month, and I wondered how I would keep myself occupied.

JUNE:

A week of searching for a new hobby, I read an article that would introduce me to a virtual new world, social media and networking. Of course I had subscribed to the insanity of MySpace.com so I was well aware of social networking sites, however I wasn’t too keen of the evolution of the ‘net. I read ’bout the phenom of user generated content like Digg, and would read but never participated in web forums, and blogging seemed too intimate for me to ever consider. I sort of chuckle when I realize how close minded I was, yet open to at the very least discovering what was new and interesting on the world wide web.

JULY:

I dove head first into the sea of social media and networking, and added my email address and profile to every networking site available like Twitter, HawaiiThreads and Ustream, and more. No one from my MySpace list of friends would consider migrating to anything else, and my real life circle of humans rarely checked their email accounts so I was literally “cold call” networking.

AUGUST:

As the first day of school for Jayden nears, I have a mild anxiety attack of concern for his safety while not in my presence, of course it passes, but I shocked my usually calm self. Also, INFINITY blog is born and the NEW STEPS series begins documenting Jayden’s first experiences at Kamehameha School.

SEPTEMBER:

It’s been six-month’s since the decision to “shack-up” and all is well in our household. Our dear friends Heather Pantohan and Bishop Vincent are married in a very intimate ceremony at the Okinawan Center garden. The reception was emceed by local comedian Rodney Villanueva, and an excellent jazz ensemble serenaded throughout the evening.

OCTOBER:

I add a new word to my vocabulary, Truemors and have the opportunity to meet a true celebrity in the technology industry, Guy Kawasaki. Our very brief conversation, and occasional online exchanges provides an opportunity for me to be donned, Truemorist.

NOVEMBER:

As I shared previously, I moved to Maui while Lilinoe and the children continued to live on Oahu. It’s a temporary move, and Skype is so much better than a casual telephone conversation. The University of Hawaii football team ends their season as the only unbeaten Division I team and an invitation to the Sugar Bowl. Not to mention quarterback Colt Brennan got an official nod as a finalist for the Heisman Trophy.

DECEMBER:

Our resolution was simple, to have a better year than 2006 and looking back we can honestly say that we’ve accomplished our goal. We leave 2007 with gratitude for the opportunities, moments, and knowledge. We look forward to the promises of 2008 and the launching of our new website: www.FALEAFINE.com.

This is the last day of 2007 and last post of INFINTY.

All the best to all of you in 2008.

Wishing everyone a Mele Kalikimaka this holiday season. We are spending ours on the beautiful island of Maui with my sister and her family, and let’s just say that it’s a good thing that not only do we love each other, but we also enjoy each others company - a group of ten adults and children can get a bit crowded.

With list in hand, debit cards in wallet, Lilinoe and I were able to check the couple of dozen off of our Christmas list in one day! Yes, it’s not a typo, just one day! With effective communication and a “plan” Christmas shopping can actually be a joyous event. And really isn’t it supposed to be? Sure we endured the bumper-to-bumper traffic during our commute to Waikele, Ala Moana and across the street to Pearlridge; but we passed the time singing songs and laughing with and at each other.

This morning, we woke when our bodies told us too, and casually prepared for our Christmas buffet brunch at the Ka’anapali Beach Hotel’s Tiki Terrace. KBH, as it’s known by the local Maui folk labels itself, “Maui’s most Hawaiian hotel,” with its Polynesian decor, wall dedicated to stunning photos of hula dancers, and a menu of a medley of island flavors. KBH has been on the shores of Ka’anapali for over 20 years, and its customer service is cloaked in Aloha spirit garnering many awards. There was one wrinkle in our experience, and while I won’t divulge the details, I must recognize the hotel representative, Madeline Rabago who handled the matter in the most professional manner and as I said earlier, “cloaked in the Aloha spirit.”

We headed home to unwrap presents, and had joked with the children that we’d do so after a nice, long nap. My sister implemented the “trash bag” system to minimize the clutter, not to mention possibly losing a few gifts. Most 3-year-old boys are happy with a stick and a rock, however our little guy still has an obsession with the movie “Cars” and after opening the latest version of “Mack” he wanted nothing more to do with any other gifts. Chelsea more than deserved her Nintendo DS Lite and brand new pink digital camera, and the expression on her face was priceless. (Note: Lilinoe has been playing the DS Lite more than Chelsea has so far trying to win at “Connect Four”). My niece Taimane was thrilled with tearing the wrapping paper off, but she especially loved the package of panties from Tutu, and danced with her favorite television characters, Dora “We did it, we did it!” (You need to watch Dora the Explorer cartoon to understand.)

I gave the world wide web a peek into the gifts I purchased for Lilinoe and she was glowing with gratitude upon receiving each one. I patiently waited for everyone to finish, and Chelsea was anxious for me to open my gifts. For those who know me, know that I like accessories, not the stereotypical kind, but sunglasses, a hat, a little bling on the ears. I opened the box and unveiled a cool pair of Arnette’s which is one of my brands of choice. But nothing could prepare me for my next gift. For those of you who really know me, know that while I yearn for “big kids’ toys and gadgets” I exercise control and practicality. I live by a budget that includes a comfortable lifestyle, but invests in our children’s future so the gadgets come during sales or after building up the savings account. And, even when the budget calls for it, it takes a lot to convince me to make a hefty purchase without feeling guilty. Well, my dearest Lilinoe, whom by the way is much more frugal than I, surprised me more than when I received a “Big Wheel” for my 6th birthday. The box looked odd shaped, it wasn’t shaped like a cellular phone, and it couldn’t have been a laptop since I purchased one last month. It was heavier than airline tickets, and it couldn’t be we’ve already planned our next vacation in Arizona and Nevada. It certainly wasn’t a massage at the spa, Lilinoe surprised me with a reservation at the Westin Maui earlier this month on my birthday. And, after losing our digital camera, we purchased a new Canon only a few weeks ago. So what could it be?

A CANON DVD CAMCORDER!

I was stunned as you can see, and absolutely grateful. These are moments that I am reminded how truly blessed I am with Lilinoe, Chelsea, Jayden and my entire family. I could not ask for more…

On April 9, 2005 the lives of Lilinoe, Chelsea and Jayden had changed. They were victims in a hugely reported accident, at the fault of a wrong way intoxicated driver.

“Three passengers…a 26 year-old woman, a 9-year-old girl and a 1-year-old boy - were taken to The Queen’s Medical Center. The woman was critically injured and unconscious and had to be extracted from the truck by firefighters. The girl and the young boy did not appear seriously injured.” — Honolulu Advertiser

Christmas of the same year, a kind case manager had placed them on the “Lokahi Giving Project” list. Lokahi, was created in 1985 with a simple mission: to provide a hand up to the “gap group” ineligible for other assistance and to relieve the burden of families and individuals who suffer an unforeseen crisis. On the day of delivery, Lilinoe was overwhelmed with boxes of presents for her and the children.

This Christmas is the second year that Lilinoe has adopted a family from the “Lokahi Giving Project” in an effort to give back all that she has received. Her generosity and thoughtful soul are the biggest reasons why I love her. Although the complete story is for her and the children to tell in their own time, as an observer and a witness of their growth and happiness, this is my story to share.

Together we have tunneled through all of the typical, expected experiences that arise from a traumatic event, including friends and relatives with their hands held out on the notion that accident equals settlements or friends who are motivated by the expectations of lifelong indebtedness for their acts of kindness. But, Lilinoe has developed a keener sense of discernment with respect to herself and her children.

Chelsea, the now 11-year-old girl was recently recognized last week by her school with a “Make A Difference” award for her grade level. The teacher presenting the award could hardly hold back her tears as she spoke of Chelsea’s growth, kindness, initiative, and willingness to learn. When her name was called, her schoolmates erupted with “choo hoo’s” and hollers, as other teachers in tears came up to hug her. She is a cheerleader, basketball player, hula dancer, member of an ukulele and choir group; and the apple of my eye. She inspires me to be a better adult and parent, and makes me laugh till drool is running out of the sides of my mouth!

And, all of you are familiar with Jayden, the now 3-year-old boy who is the inspiration for many of my blog posts. I recall the first time I met Jayden, it was almost six-months after the accident and he was an active little guy bundled in his pamper. He had a bit of fear in his eyes as he looked at me, the biggest person he probably had ever seen, and clung to his Mommy. I stuck out my hand, and said, “Trust me.” He took my hand, and has been my little opihi ever since!

My life has been enriched since our family was formed through commitment, acceptance and unconditional love.

In Hawaii, food is an important hub of it’s culture and probably the second best conversation ice-breaker after establishing your identity through your high school. And so when “Tsukiji Fish Market and Restaurant” opened at Ala Moana Center’s Hookipa Terrace it was high on our list of “gotta try.” Two important factors were met immediately, the type of food: Japanese and the amount: buffet. Price would only determine “when” we’d eventually get there.

We drooled at photos from Ryan’s birthday and envied the rave reviews from our dear friends Heather, Janel and Kris; but this past weekend it was finally our turn. The commute was a bit challenging with the Christmas shopping traffic or are we so used to traffic on Oahu we just give it “names” like, “Friday traffic” or “Back to School traffic” or “UH football traffic”? We entered the maze or more commonly known as the Ala Moana Shopping Center parking lot and the rain began to drizzle a bit harder, so we figured that if we were going to spend that much on dinner what’s another five dollars for valet parking.

Our initial impression from the outside of the restaurant went unnoticed since we, were busy estimating the number of people ahead of us! The young host was obviously overwhelmed, whispering to some sort of manager, scratching out names on a tablet, and trying to figure out what appeared to be a layout of the restaurant’s tables. 45-minutes to an hour wait, and he’d call my cell phone to let me know when a table was ready. No problem since during the drive Lilinoe and I figured out that we had missed a few on our Christmas list. But, the type of person I am, I rushed the shopping to return with much time to spare, and luckily since a few parties ahead of us did not answer their cell phones or so we were told.

The atmosphere was “busy” but the fixtures and tables were elegant, and the aroma of the food was excellently inviting. As we customarily do when you have children, we eat in “shifts” so Lilinoe and Chelsea attacked made their way to the buffet line while Jayden and I played with a toy truck and shark. Being the great person that she is, Lilinoe quickly returned with a plate full of our favorite selection of nigiri style sushi. I won’t cross anything out, Jayden and I attacked the plate!

The rest of our evening was spent enjoying the flavors of tempura, sushi, steak, udon, and several legs of crab! I had never been impressed with the food at Makino Chaya’s, and Todai’s slowly began to disappoint me, so Tsukiji’s ranks first of the three.

But, we will not return unless the following has improved:

1. Organization. It took too many minutes for the host and manager to figure out where to seat each new party, even with a 2-way radio from someone on the floor. It shouldn’t be that difficult, if you’re organized.
2. Service. I don’t expect personalized attention, but I do expect a certain level of respectful kindness, especially towards my family. The server’s first words to me and Jayden, “What how many people here?” Believe it or not, it went down hill from there.
3. Tacky signs. Several of the signs identifying the dishes were hand-written on nothing more than a scratch piece of paper. How can you charge over $30 per plate, and yet not have enough in the marketing budget?

Despite those three items, of course we had an evening full of laughs and left with full stomachs, we can’t let those things get in the way of our family time. But, it will prevent us from returning.

Lui Faleafine III. The world is without a good person, a solid man, and an insightful soul. Nine years ago today I lost my best friend and brother, Lui. A force of nature, a fact of life that was thrust upon me, changing my soul never to be the same again. I want to say that I became a better person as a result of my loss, but it has also caused me to be less idealistic. I don’t ask any questions anymore there will never be a sufficient answer. I cope by living life. I am comforted that I am not alone in my sorrow, and cannot begin to imagine the enormity of heartache that my parents feel.

My broken heart is all that I have, and my dreams. We continue to have good-hearted conversations in my dreams, and I sob when I am blessed with a new day. I don’t cry because I don’t want to be alive, I cry because it truly hurts. It’s a heavy, piercing, yet empty feeling.

I am grateful that I have memories of the details of our experience, but that also includes those of his last days. I learned the most from him during that time. Even though his physical reality dictated otherwise, he continued to plan his life as if he were promised decades instead of days. He was brave.

He had a message for the world, it’s simple yet at times the world makes it impossible to achieve, “Be good to each other.”

Today is day seven on Maui. Work is good, there was much preparation before my arrival, therefore the transition is smooth. One of the highlights of my first week was spending time with my sister’s children; Amu (10), Tolea (9), Taimane (2) and Kaulana (10 days!). The older children belong to “Na Kamali’i ‘O Ke Akua” (Children of God) and participate in performances 3-4 times per week, provided their school work and other responsibilities are completed.

I was able to catch the Thursday night double performance, first at the Westin Ka’anapali Ocean Resort Villas. The “Villas” as it’s commonly known amongst the locals is a vacation ownership property that opened it’s doors in 2003. It’s a luxurious property with lagoon style pools, waterfalls and slides and sits in front of prime oceanfront property. There are a lot of water activities, including scuba diving, snorkeling, kayaking and windsurfing. The sunset is breath taking and you can watch it from your balcony, on the beach in a cabana or a hammock. One of the attractions for me was a line of gas grills set-up near the poolside. And of course, at sunset you can enjoy a fun, heartwarming keiki Polynesian show.

We then took a quick drive down Honoapiilani Highway to the “Lahaina Cannery Mall” a place I frequented almost daily during my first tour of duty on Maui especially since there’s a Longs Drugstore, Safeway and the all important Footlocker. This show featured the teenage dancers, fresh from volleyball practice at Lahainaluna High School, but you couldn’t tell as they gave a hip-shaking performance.

Once again I will be moving to the island of Maui for work, and though I’ve been preparing for the past three months, it’s finally beginning to sting.  I will be traveling alone; without Lilinoe, Chelsea or Jayden and the reality of not having them nearby is piercing.  For more than two years, Lilinoe and I have spent time with each other everyday, even if for a few hours before we reached the recent milestone of “living together.”  As I described in previous posts, she’s wonderful…our souls have fused.  Chelsea is growing into a strong, independent, determined young lady and it’s my privilege to witness her life.  And, Jayden has already attempted to pack his bags!

We shall take advantage of all of the technology available to continue to communicate frequently, and have already booked flights for them to visit often. 

I look forward to rediscovering Maui, a sanctuary of mine and our traditional destination to welcome in the new year.  I have the opportunity to spend time with my sister and her family, focusing on building a better relationship with her children, especially my niece Taimane.  The overall move to Maui is positive, except of course without my family.

Our daily conversations involve several moments of hearty, side pain laughter! At times the topic doesn’t matter, we’ll laugh at one of my guffaws or a play on words from Lilinoe; and always something one of the children has either said or done. Lately, we’ve been having impromptu “family talent shows” that will have all of us proudly LOLing.

Early in our discovery Lilinoe gave me the label of “Funniest Person Ever.” Well, maybe I had to coax it out of her, but over the last few years I have lived up to my title. The same with my blogs, I don’t think I’ll ever earn a penny with my humor, but it’s a key ingredient in the harmony of our household, and therefore has heavy value.

The sound of Lilinoe’s hearty laughter, the giggles of Jayden, the loud chuckle of Maiyah or the burst of “ha, ha’s” from Chelsea are infectious, and most importantly soothing.

The ability for us to laugh at our shortcomings, individually and collectively has created an environment of forgiveness; strengthened our family and keep the endorphins flowing through all of our souls.

It’s just another ingredient of life that we cannot live without.

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Prior to the start of the current NFL season I joined the “HawaiiThreads: Yahoo! Sports Pro Football Pick ’Em.” The older I get, my interest in sports are reserved until the playoffs or the championship match. And so, joining this ‘tournament’ was purely for “virtual fun.” Lilinoe became interested, and as we do with nearly everything in our lives, we collaborated on a strategy.

It wasn’t very complicated, it consisted of choosing the teams that had players with ties to Hawaii on their rosters; Houston was automatic since I was a former resident; and Lilinoe will choose the New England Patriots each week only because she finds Tom Brady to be “cute.”

The strategy worked the first two weeks as we were able to accumulate 22 points (1 point per win) or 22 correct picks. We didn’t consider the point spread, home field advantage, injury lists, or anything other than the method mentioned above.

In Week 3 I decided to read a few lines of summarized predictions, and managed a low 5 points. In Week 4 I woke up with a bad attitude that left me home alone and only increased to 6 points. Determined to be back on track, I committed to a better attitude and included (begged) Lilinoe back into the selection process, and our points for the week increased to 8. And, I don’t know what happened during Week 6 as the point spread broke our spirit to an all time low of 4 points.

At the end of week 6 we amassed a total of 44 points and were in second place overall. Determined to improve, but having not a clue of the players’ abilities or coaching successes or even the teams’ records we enrolled our 3 year old son Jayden.

As I sat by the computer, I rattled off the names of two teams and he chose. Whatever his response we selected it on the screen. I admit that I was a bit unsure of the strategy, so I went through the list again, but this time by their respective mascots and his picks did not change. The only game we (Lilinoe) attempted to “change his mind about” was the New England vs. Miami (+16.5), but I defended his choice and we went with his selection of Miami.

The last game just ended a few minutes ago, and of the 13 games scheduled, we have 10 points or 10 correct picks! Amazing to say the least, but he should have listened to his Mommy since New England beat the spread!

Back in April of this year, my parents displayed a class act of generosity and purchased a dozen tickets to the Lion King Broadway Musical. The month’s leading up to our scheduled October 13th performance were inundated with numerous inquiries from the children confirming, “Are we going to Lion King?” With every promotional commercial we viewed, the anxiety built more intense. My Mom declared that Maiyah just plain gave up and decided that she wasn’t actually going. And, my sister prepared her 2 year old with a DVD of the animated movie but Taimane opted for “Shrek” instead!

On the day of our performance, my sister and her brood of three (soon to be four) flew in from Maui. In the morning she made her usual stops to the Aloha Stadium Swap Meet and Pearlridge Shopping Center. We did our Saturday morning routine of hula practice in Nu’uanu and eventually all met up at Camilia’s Buffet in McCully. The buffet was so filling that my family and I headed home for an afternoon nap, while the Mauians headed to Kahala Mall to drool at the Apple store and purchase an iPod.

An economical family; we dined on manapua, pork hash, rice cake and passion orange juice in the parking lot of the Neal Blaisdell Center before making our way to the Concert Hall. The night air was absolutely muggy making it even more of a point to get indoors. The crowds were dressed in evening wear, both in the formal and ‘local’ formal sense, which meant Aloha attire permitted. Before heading to our seats we were confronted with a wonderful display of souvenirs of t-shirts, books, stuffed animals, and more. I describe it as being ‘confronted’ because an adult sized t-shirt was $30, and of course we happily purchased a t-shirt for each of the children and souvenir books for each household.

Our seats were perfect to our standards, great proximity to both the stage and restrooms with ample leg room. As the lights dimmed, and the first familiar cry from the character “Rafiki” played by the awesomely talented, Gugwana Dlamini, “Nants ingonyama bagithi Baba!” The entire audience roared as if we’ve all been awaiting the birth of “Simba.” As “Rafiki” continued an “oli” or a chant of declaration that “a lion is here” (Sithi uhm ingonyama) giraffes, zebras, antelope, and even a life sized elephant marched their way down the aisles through the audience.

The march of the animals of the “Pride Lands” were “chicken skin” moments, and one middle aged man sitting behind me even admitted to being overwhelmed by tears. I too was more than misty-eyed.

The entire musical was mesmerizing and had each of our children sitting quietly at the edge of their seats anticipating each scene.

This memory was all made possible by my parents, and I dedicated this blog and the video below as a show of our appreciation for their consistent generosity.

Enjoy our photos and impromptu family talent show the night after!

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