INFINITY.

One day a few weeks ago, I glanced over and noticed Lilinoe taking a peaceful afternoon nap. The fan was blowing gently, the pillows propped perfectly and her hands gently clasped over her bosom. I was intrigued by the vision, it was familiar but I couldn’t understand why her position at the time warmed my heart. Pleased to see her at rest, a rare moment, I allowed the moment to pass without further thought.

Yesterday we sat on our living room couch and were talking about everything and nothing in particular when I remembered her nap. As I began to describe my vision, I realized the source of the familiarity, the reason why the moment warmed my heart. And, I began sobbing.

Two years ago I drove to the Castle Medical Center in Kaneohe to visit my maternal grand-aunt, Aunty Ulu. As I walked into her assigned hospital room, she was laying in her slightly inclined bed with pillows perfectly propped, and her hands gently clasped over her bosom.

I don’t know if I woke her by my touch or my will, but she opened her eyes to greet me. Clouded by her illness and medication I almost needed to introduce myself. It didn’t take long before she said, “Oh my Nina!” I braved a random conversation with her about the food and she shared how my cousin Jaylene had cooked her some fried aku and brought her some for dinner the other night. I soon realized that I wasn’t there to visit but to say goodbye.

Aunty Ulu was the youngest sister of my maternal grandmother, my Nanny as we affectionately called her, probably because she felt she was too young and glamorous to be called anything else. Aunty Ulu barely stood five feet tall, but her heart reached the sky and beyond. She was more than my Aunty, she was a fan of my life. She taught me how to give a good honi (kiss) and hug, a gesture of which I have become infamously “known” for.

As I shared my memories of Aunty Ulu with Lilinoe my emotions could not be stifled. For a brief moment I realized my vulnerability, but I have learned over the course of these last two years that my vulnerability is safe with Lilinoe. We continued to cry and share in our memories, because Lilinoe too has her own precious individual memories with Aunty Ulu. In fact, the day Aunty Ulu passed away was the first day I rediscovered Lilinoe after almost 10 years of silence.

I was not only afforded the opportunity to say goodbye to Aunty Ulu, but also had written her a letter from my heart years before her passing. But, my soulful cry with Lilinoe on our living room couch is the type of communication I never want to lose.

Today marked another milestone in Jayden’s almost two-month career as a student, his first “Parent Teacher Conference.” Overall his review was as we predicted because as parents we’re realist, optimists, but certainly not oblivious.

The relatively smooth transition into Kamehameha Preschool’s “Waipuna” class is largely due to his cousin (my younger sister‘s daughter), Maiyah. He aspired to go to school, but not just any school, he wanted to attend Kamehameha Preschool, “Maiyah’s school.” Gratefully, his application was selected and preparations began since April from potty training to basic motor-skills to his ABC’s and 1,2,3’s. But, despite all of our flashcards, and teaching to respect others, it is his friendship with Maiyah that gives him an additional sense of confidence. I mean, nothing is better than having a cousin as one of the “upperclassmen!”

It is wonderful to witness the development of their friendship. It’s sincere because they’ve toggled over the “share your toys” lesson…quite a bit. But, each morning during their commute to Nu’uanu via H-1 they discuss everything from their upcoming school day to a recent Disney Channel show to their dreams of eels walking on the streets! Their conversations are comedic to adults, but absolutely genuine in their minds.

Growing up, my nucleus of genuine friends were my sisters, brother and cousins. We have volumes of books of memories growing up together, and that’s why it’s important for me especially to make sure that the next generation is as close too.

His goals for school are the same as the ones we’ve been implementing here at home, and are pleased that as parents we’re having precise, age appropriate, specific observations.

Our journey with Jayden is promising, and we’re happy to share it with all of you.

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Today is our littlest soul’s first day of school. There are many emotions churning to say the least. He’s only 3! A well and capable 3 year old, but still we know his habits (both good and mischevious), we know his comfort zone (within 3 feet of Mommy and NEENZ), we can decipher his story telling when he’s merged an episode of Thomas the Train with the storyline to Cars the Movie, and the Chili’s commercial, “Welcome to Chili’s! Kachow! Choo Choo!”

There are no second thoughts at our decision to send him to school, it’s absolutely necessary just as a Flintstone chewables vitamin, if you don’t take it you’ll be okay, if you do, YABBA DABBA DOO! It is our goal to prepare our children for their lives ahead, to make all decisions in their best interest with their input taken into consideration. (Everything is negotiable in our household, even this statement.). This includes providing finances for their development through tutoring, sports, dance, art, etc. This includes eliminating our “adult behavior” and committing our full body, mind and soul to them and not a half-hearted, hung over, here’s a bowl of cereal now go watch tv attitude.

In retrospect, throughout the toilet training preparation requirement for school; identifying colors, shapes, and numbers; reciting the alphabet; matching a pair of shorts with his shirt; a lot of hugs and kisses; explaining the importance of school and the fact that his 3 feet comfort zone will be adjusted by a few thousand feet; as parents we’ve been preparing ourselves too.

There are many emotions churning to say the least. We’re rejoicing. We’re proud. We’re confident in him and our decision. (God and all entities that be, please don’t let him get hurt). IMUA KAMEHAMEHA!

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With today’s gadgets and technology we are afforded an opportunity to capture our memories and chronicle our lives.

We began our trip with the intent of introducing the children to the large aquarium at the Galleria on Kalakaua Avenue, which we discovered was removed a few months before. Our disappointment was short lived, as you will be able to see in “Our Day In Waikiki.”

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Friendships at times are of convenience; work, school, organizations, proximity all contribute to your current “social network.” I recently observed Lilinoe with a group of her friends, and by the end of the eventful night they adopted the name, “Halau Hula ‘O Moku Hale.”

I considered mapping out a flow chart to explain their connections, however here’s the “local style” logistics: My Nanny (maternal grandmother), Aunty Hu’i had two hula students: Kahealani (my second cousin) and Lilinoe (NOE of INFINITY PRODUCTIONS). Lilinoe attended Farrington High School with Reina. Kahealani attended Kamehameha Schools with Miki and Lisa. Lisa’s cousin Michelle attended Aiea High School with Patti…and as teenagers, they all became a group of friends or as I aptly jest, a gaggle of geese!

Observing Lilinoe with this group of friends reminded me that time and space are irrelevant with relation to sincere friendships. Each of them are determined, assertive women with Patti being the aspiring comedian! Lilinoe’s life is certainly enriched with this group, and yours will be too. Enjoy, “Halau Hula ‘O Moku Hale.”

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This past weekend I got a bit of a scare. It wasn’t as serious as what could have developed, but my soul was still jolted. I won’t divulge any details since I know better, but this particular blog is dedicated to my Mom.

I could paint a picture of my Mom to be the equivalent of June Cleaver, but then I’d be using the wrong brushes, June Cleaver she is not.

For starters she’s always been a working Mom, and never just a domestic engineer. She logged over 20 years of her professional life with the same company and lasted through various buyouts and mergers, until finally retiring on her own terms. Over the years she received numerous “Perfect Attendance” awards despite the number of times I ended up in the emergency room for some newly invented accident! She persevered in her position, and took personal pride in her duties. She had a nice area in a majestic building, but more importantly created lasting friendships with the “Aunties.” Those friendships are evidence that she was a team player, a motivator, and dependable associate.

Cooking was never her forte to say the least. I recall my brother’s kindergarten class putting together a book of all the children’s reasons why they love their Mommies as a project celebrating Mother’s Day. I cannot share with you verbatim his quote but it went something like this, “I love my Mommy especially when she cooks hot dogs and pork and beans!” We all chuckled not at his innocence, but as his preciseness. My Mom could cook anything with cabbage, and if she had to do it two weeks in a row, the cabbage was replaced with bean sprouts. I learned to use A LOT of ketchup during those meals. I must note though, that she does cook an onolicious spaghetti!

To say that my Mom sacrificed for her children would minimize her efforts; everything she did, every decision she made, every dollar she earned was to provide for the four of us. There were four biological children, but somehow our house was always full with anyone who needed a place to call home, and if you recall in my earlier blog, there weren‘t very many bedrooms to be assigned. My cousin Jason is like a brother to me since his Mom (my Mom’s sister) worked either the swing or graveyard shift at one of the local hotels. My cousin Amber became another younger sister since her parents too were trying to establish themselves out there in the corporate world. We also had Theo Adams, one-time University of Hawaii football star, living with us until he completed his education and later moved to the mainland to play for the San Francisco 49ers, Seattle Seahawks until ending his football career in the World Football League. When Dole Pineapple began downsizing in the early 80’s, Aunty Tina and Al came to live with us too. My Mom was gracious enough to open our home to everyone, and during the times when we would complain she would sit us down and tell us, “Be grateful, appreciate what you have…and KNOCK IT OFF!”

My Mom attended all of our activities as youths and adults, she’s still a spectator at my basketball games cheering me on as the coach! I remember as a teenager being thrown out while attempting to steal second and my poor attitude had me walking ever so slowly off of the field. Well, by the time I hit the dugout, there was my Mom and she said, “You better…KNOCK IT OFF!”

I have learned so much from my Mom. She has provided me with a blueprint to have a successful career, a successful relationship, a clean home, sincere friends; but most importantly to be a good person.

To paint a picture of my Mom to be the equivalent of June Cleaver would be wrong, she’s more of a mixture of Roseanne Connors, Claire Huxtable, Judge Judy and Oprah Winfrey, ah what am saying, she’s better than that too…different.

Now I’m sure I’ll get emails about my tributes to my Dad, but to blog about him wouldn’t do him justice, he deserves a hardcover book!

Those of you who know me, know that I am ‘clean challenged,’ but did you also know that during my years in Houston, Texas I was also a successful owner of a cleaning business specializing in luxury homes? Ironic isn’t it?

The home I grew up in had a lot of character, 1932 Dole Street to be exact. It was an unassuming home, hidden behind a majestic ‘white wall.’ The ‘white wall’ was part of the driving directions to anyone commuting for a visit. If you’re coming from Hawaii Kai you’d head west on H-1, take the Wilder exit, turn left onto Dole Street, don’t go over the McCully bridge, veer right continuing onto Dole Street our house was on the right-hand side with the ’white wall.’

Our house was a humble 2-bedroom, 1-bath, but it was huge with respect to square footage. According to the City and County of Honolulu Real Property Division it’s 1,166 square feet; but it also lists the home as a three bedroom without any recent improvements, I disagree with that information. The master bedroom was able to accommodate a California king sized bed, horizontal dresser, vertical armoire, 2-night stands, with room enough to put a futon mattress down for an additional three to sleep comfortable. The second bedroom had four twin sized beds, a large desk for a minimum of four to do homework on without bumping elbows, and a walk-in closet. Where were the dressers? In the large full sized bathroom. The bathroom had a built-in dresser and cabinet, a medium sized ‘walk-in’ closet and the distance between the sink lavatory and the toilet was approximately 8’. The size of the bathroom is larger than many of the bedroom sizes available in today‘s properties. The living rooms seemed endless, it could be the total of the 1,166 square feet that the city lists. The kitchen was half the width and ¾ the length of the living room, there were no bumping of okoles and it comfortably fit two refrigerators. In fact, we would practice our break dancing on the kitchen tile as kids! The walls were wood paneled with white paint, and the windows required the pulley of rope and the screen latched to a hook embedded in the window panel.

Our yard was draped in flourishing fruit trees, ferns, hinahina, my 3rd grade marigold project, a frightening cactus tree flanked the front door staircase, a grapevine shaded the patio area, several pots of aloe and a line of tall ladylike ti-leaf trees bordered the side. We always had a snack with four mountain apple trees that would produce enough fruit to give to the Yoshida’s who in turn gave us some mangos, and also to the ever changing neighbors next door who’d give us their fruit from the avocado tree. As tart as the wine grapes were, we’d munch on them green or ripen, just because we could.

Growing up we had a good history of memories and I understand that during my Mom’s youth the likes of Peter Ahia, Roland Cazimero, Kawai Cockett, and many others in the music and hula industries kanikapila’d, made ti leaf skirts, strung lei, or just came over for a good, impromptu get together. There’s a story floating in our family history that my cousin John gave Peter Moon the chicken pox, need to confirm this story with Mr. Moon.

Living in a home that had many visitors, it was always important to keep the house tidy and clean; but alas NEENZ! It’s not so much that I’m a ‘pack rat,’ more like a ‘stacker.’ I’ll stack everything neatly on a chair. I’d do my laundry just before running out of clean clothes. As I got older, and financially able; it didn’t help as I was able to just ‘buy something new’ during those ‘stacking’ marathons.

I remember during a ‘rough’ period in my life my Mom telling me, “If you clean your room, you might feel better.” Of course being the, well no better term than doofus that I was, I took the advice as “parental reverse psychology.”

My Aunty Tina also gave me advice once, “Keep your room clean, you never know when Jesus will return.” And being the well, we’ve already established, doofus that I was, I responded, “Won’t He love me anyways?”

Today is different. Crank up a good Kalapana or C&K album, and break a sweat tackling the ‘stacks’ not only makes a room clean, but a spirit happy which was the real lesson behind my Mom’s advice.

Oh and for those wondering how I found success with a cleaning business, well an excellent staff of well-skilled associates.

It took almost 10 years to reunite, and in an instant serendipity. Of course it couldn’t have been completely by ‘accident’ since we were reunited, but it couldn’t have happened at a better time…sooner would have been disastrous mostly because of my immaturity.

Our clocks are ticking. I have an expiration date, the life I have at this moment is soon to take a turn onto a familiar path. Familiar only because I have already been there, which means my return is by choice. This choice though comes with a sacrifice.