Men and Porn
Not for younger viewers, but just random thoughts on this issue….. Comments are welcome.
Man’s obsessions with breasts
What is the fascination that men have with breasts? Particularly large breasts. It seems as if given an opportunity, any opportunity, they want to find a way to see more bare female breast, be it real or fake. Of course there is more than breasts. There’s the nice round ass of a teenager, and the act of sex itself that sparks up a men’s interest.
Take for instance a man who is happily married with two kids. He will find a window of five minutes in his day when the kids are in the shower or the wife is putting them to bed. In that tiny space of time, of course premeditatively, he would wake his computer from deep slumber and click on the existing bookmark for a page with women and their large breasts.
A number of things disturb me in this five minutes of glory. For one, the fact that this man is looking at porn is an issue in itself. But I’ve come to the realization that all men need some form of pornography in their lives. Especially those who are addicted to the internet variety. (Which brings me to a moot point: If someone pays someone else for sexual pleasure, that’s called prostitution. So if a person were to “subscribe” to a porn site, i.e. pay someone to see naked women in order to “get off’, would that be considered prostitution?)
What bothers me is that in these five minutes that he has to himself, out of all the possible activities he could engage in, he chooses porn. This tells me a little (or maybe a lot) about the character of this man. Especially if his five minutes turn to twenty due to the difficulty the wife has of putting down the children for the night. Instead of helping out his wife, he proceeds to concider himself lucky to gain that extra 15 minutes of boobs.
I can’ t help but wonder if this man finds it thrilling to do this infront of, but at the same time behind the back of, his wife. If I were his wife, I would feel a bit betrayed, and quite ticked off. But he assumes he won’t get caught. “What she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.” God, I hate that line.
Now, given the fact that eventually this man will be caught one day with thousands of copied pictures and video on his computer, he knows he has the perfect excuse: He’s a guy. This is what guys do. “Like hell it is.” Is what I would like to say, but I probably wouldn’t. Or how about the one: “Well it’s out there on the internet.” You have to click on it for it to open up, dumbass.
But my favorite has to be (and the one I’ll probably hear): “I’m just looking. It’s not cheating if you just look.” I can’t argue with that. It sucks that I can’t. But who’s to say you’re not thinking of those nice round pillows on a teenage pixie while you’re having sex with your wife. Who’s to say that you think of the thousands of girls you’ve downloaded and feel proud that you have quite the collection?
If this were my husband I wouldn’t know what to think. All I know is that no matter what they think, the wife always knows. And what she knows can definitely hurt her.
Interesting article:
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m1608/is_10_20/ai_n6333053
October 10th, 2005 at 8:41 am
It has something to do with men are visual creatures. Woteva dat means? Or perhaps they were not tittyfed or because they were tittyfed, that they obsessed ova breasts?
My son told me he’s not a breast man, he’s an ass man. I told him thats cause he was breast fed and he use to bite me; thats why I put him on the bottle. He was like, “MOM, please stop telling me GROSS information.”
Men will LOOK regardless of size, shape, age, real or fake. If somebody is showing they are looking. Even wen somebody’s not showing they TRY to use their X-ray eyes. LOL
I’ve often wondered why most women don’t care for porn as oppose to most men will watch porn. For myself, I’d rather be doing sex den watching other people doing it. *L*
Malama pono.
October 10th, 2005 at 9:17 am
Hmmmmmm…My late husband read Porn Magazines. I didn’t care. If he would looked Boobs on the Internet or fantasize on other women, I wouldn’t care one bit. At least, I still would have my darling husband with me instead of being buried in Hawaiian Memorial Park Cemetary.
He was the best husband, father and family could ask for. Yes, there are certain “things” men do in which they need their privacy. Women need their time privacy too. A marriage is not a marriage if there is doubt and distrust in one’s partner activities.
Auntie Lynn
October 10th, 2005 at 6:19 pm
I going be one dissenting vote heah. If my hubby was looking at porn, den I would feel betrayed. He still having one affair, as far as I concerned; affairs wit more den just one wahine. He would not be staying faithful to me. Whatever he spends on his fantasy life is what he takes away from me.
His fantasy life could affect our relationship; I no like anybody else in bed wit us. He’s mines. I no like share him wit anyone.
I tink porn corrupts da mind of dem who look at it.
Da odda aspect of porn is dat da wahines posing for it are being used. Dey get deep issues dat create da need for doing dis kine stuff. Most of da women who do dis are victims of sexual abuse in their childhoods, and dis is da way dey learned how to get attention.
I usually no get one one soapbox, but I feel pretty strong about dis issue. Can oni tell, yeah?
November 22nd, 2005 at 11:55 am
you read my mind! my boyfriend is obsessed with porn it bothers me a great deal i watch it and it turns me on but he is excessive and he loves teenagers young young girls and that freaks me out all of his friends support him and act like its normal to pass pics of naked girls from college around right in front of me. anyways there is a woman psychologist i forget her name offhand but there was a theory of the good breast vs. the bad breast and its all about mens fascination with the female booby. i think it is insulting to me that he is constantly downaloading porn from such sites as dirtbag teens and so forth it really upsets me. if i flirt with a guy he flips out but its okay for men to climax all over themselves over another girl that has never made sense to me. where is the female porn we need romance and emotion so why cant we have affairs?
February 4th, 2006 at 8:25 am
I am having a tough time myself with this whole porn issue and men. It just makes me feel like I am not as good enoug has the fantasy they want to masturbate too. I am 24 years old, not 18 anymore and won’t ever be again. Don’t have breast implants for flawless skin. Why do guys even bother getting in relationships when they obviously have something they love and that satisfies them?
April 15th, 2006 at 7:27 am
I think men are absolutely disgusting, low, dirty, worhtless, peices of crap! Porn is just horrifying and if men can get off to that disgusting, fake, nonsense then they are not even worth getting upset over. they’re all the same, they all suck. and they dont give a dam about us women and thats how it will always be.
April 16th, 2006 at 6:27 am
my husband and i have seperate rooms. his is filled with stains of his pornographic infatuation (literally):magazines, videos, posters, even blow up dolls. gradually ive come to realise not only is it a burden on the relationship but now he’ll only consider having sex with me when i lose weight. i’m currently looking after our two children and two from his previous marriage as well as persuing a full time career. how has my life surpressed to this??
May 9th, 2006 at 7:07 pm
Good on you Jackie, way to go! I am glad to see I’m not the only one who feels that way.
May 10th, 2006 at 5:21 pm
I would just like to add: If real woman spent as much money on cosmetics and plastic surgery as men spend on pornography we too could look that beautiful, and if men spent more time with a real body instead of paper, plastic and fake images, woman might actually stay in the marriage. Men want to touch themselves while woman want to be touched by something that is real, why do you think we have affairs, pretty desperate when you have affairs with a paper doll!
May 24th, 2006 at 7:09 am
I get very upset when my husband looks at porn, for one its because he hides it from me and then denies it and its always the same thing, nothing we can share or enjoy together, its all about what he wants. Why cant he want from me what he is watching? its like he likes that better than me. And he acts like i am being a child because i only want him to want me and no one else, i want him to want me the way he acts like he wants them, i sometimes wish there wasn’t any porn and then more marriages would stay together instead of men living in this fantasy land of constant P**Y.
May 29th, 2006 at 9:49 pm
I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 9 months. When I first found out I was hit with heartake and pain. I’m a good looking 19 year old, so I thought I was good enough. I’d try talking to him about it, or asking questions, but always the same results. He’d say that he’d been doing it for years and good luck finding a guy out there that didn’t do it (which is true ) I ended up crying and sometimes getting upset at work. I almost left him two times because of Porn. One night he came home and did it right in front of me when he thought I was sleeping!!! The pain I felt was soooo great. I just resently started to download porn myself trying to figure it out. We have also watched a Porn toughter, that went well untill I found out that he was looking on the internet for one of the girls in the porn we watched. I feel so hopeless and out of controll. I don’t know if I can take such pain any longer. I’ve tryed so many things and so many ways to change. And he NOT ONCE has he said he was sorry for hurting me so much, I wish we could just work toughter and come to some kind of understanding. Maybe he could be the one trying to change for once. All I have to say is stay strong, we are not alone!!!
May 30th, 2006 at 7:58 am
I recently found porn hidden in boyfriend’s room. It devastated me. I felt immediately ugly. It’s been a few days now, and I can’t get it off my mind. I worry that he’s thinking of other, more attractive women when we’re together or that he wishes I was skinnier or blonde. He’s tried to reassure me, but I feel I can’t believe him - after all, he’s been hiding porn from me for the whole two years we’ve been together, why should I believe him now? I just assumed he loved me so much he didn’t need porn, and that if he masturbated, it was to images or thoughts of me. How stupid! Now, I hate to admit it, but I love him a little bit less. It hurt me so much. My boyfriend’s porn really screwed with me head. I used to think I could marry him, but now, if I did, I feel I would spend my whole life wondering who he was really thinking about during sex. I’ve spent all day on the Internet, trying to find out why porn is so upsetting to me and what I can do about it, and now I’m wondering if this is something I can’t get over. There are so many postings from women who feel just like me, like porn stars are what men really want, but becuase they scarcely exist in real life, men will settle for us ‘regular’ women. How horrible to be settled for! And how horrible to be compared to the hairless, airbrushed, siliconed whores of men’s fantasy world.
May 31st, 2006 at 9:35 am
Yeah my bf has loads of porn videos and lots on his computer too and it bothers me. But what can we do?? It makes me feel like I am not good enough for him, that he would rather look at disgusting pics and videos of people going at eachother than look at me. And what or who does he really think about when we are having sex???
Really though there is no point of getting worked up about it. It is a man’s world, always has been, always will be, no matter what we do or how much we accomplish to try to be equal to them we will still be second best. Just accept it I guess. There will always be nasty sluts to make the porn so even if women are moving up in the world, those dirty skanks will continue to knock the rest of us down and give us a bad name. I think I understand why people become lesbians.
June 3rd, 2006 at 12:09 pm
Well…that is a good topic for women who have a lot of jealousy in them…i dont care really if he looks and read porn things, even out there if he wants to look at women so be it….he knows where he belongs and he will always come home here with me…..i know he doesnt money on any of these things….because his money is all acounted for in the home area….i got no jealous bone in me and me and my boyfriend who is even 35 years younger than me has been together for five years now and we had no single fights or arguments whatsoever…We can come and go as we please….i dont nag or complain to him, i even help him find the kind of women he gets turn on to in the internet…and let him watch them…who cares if he thinks of them while he is making love with me…its me not them, RIGHT???
June 6th, 2006 at 11:23 am
i have just found out that my boyfriend looks at porn. he recently moved abroad for a new job with fantastic prospects and ive been to visit him twice there. He wants me to move out. On my last visit i was using his computer and found a link to porn i honestly felt as if id been kicked in the stomach. I felt as if i wasnt good enough for him and didnt understand why he needed to visit porn sites. We have web cam sex together and cannot understand why he needs to visit sites like this.
He has tried to console me that it means nothing, but if it means nothing then why does he not offer to not look at it if it annoys and hurts me so much.
Very upsetting dont know if i will ever be able to get it out of my mind.
Andrea
June 9th, 2006 at 9:13 am
Do all men look at porn? As a guy, i can tell you the truth is that /iftheyre/most /areanyguys/ men really /who/ dont, and if they do/.n’t/ , its becuse theyre/they’re/ either/either/ immoral /blind,/ or they /dead/ dont truly love /orbroke./ you.
If you catch /porn/ your guy looking at it you should /is/ just to him to /like/ stop and he’ll happilly comply./air/.
We know that sex/sex/ is/is/ a serious /really/matter and is /fun/enjoyed only between /almost/ two serious /as/ and
/fun/ loving partners /asfootball/.
I hope that clears some things up
:p
June 9th, 2006 at 9:31 am
Ok, Imagine a guy catches his gf eating chocolate, and then starts to think his girlfreind would rather be dating a black man and that she no longer loves him and then assumes his girlfreind is cheating on him with various black men. Yes it ridiculous but now you get the point.
June 12th, 2006 at 3:23 pm
My husband and I have been together for 11 years. I do’t mind hime looking at pron once in a while and we watch it together. What bothers me is when he does it in the morning when the children are awake. They have wlked in on him numerouse times. I threatened to leave him over it. My kids don’t need a father who tells them to stay in their room so he can look at porn. Now He has a thing for cheerleaders. I am a good looking woman and he is a 34 year old man. I am done this internet has stolen attention that could be positive that has been turned for the worst. I am talling him one more time how it hurts us and yadda yadda. If he can’t wait until the kids are in bed I am leaving him over this and I am seriouse.
June 13th, 2006 at 5:16 am
If you pruddish women would give it up a bit more there would be no need to look else where. Hello…..and don’t give me this crap that you do put out for your guy. there seems to be a resurgance of born again virgins on this site! Oh my man looks at porn…boo freaking hoo, get your guy off and at least act like you enjoy it and maybe it won’t be an issue. The true issue lies within yourselves not the porn industry. Get a clue!
June 14th, 2006 at 5:25 am
I can’t believe you called the women on this website pruddish. I am a very sexual person. I have a higher sex drive than my husband. But it seems that if I’m in the shower he would rather look at other women than come and let me give him a show. Or if I’m in the other room he would rather sneak a peek of some slut on the computer. I’m physically fit and very attractive. So whats the problem? And trust me I enjoy getting my husband off every chance I get. He claims I’m sexy, and if that is the case why does he need these pictures to entertain him? I don’t think the issues only lie within ones self but with the partner they are with. True love is when you take someone elses feelings into consideration.
June 19th, 2006 at 6:06 am
I think porn is disgusting. If a man gets turned on over watching porn he is perverted and sick in the head. Porn girls should get a real job and stop making all women look like slags because they choose to be one, they should stop thinking they might break a nail and get a real job instead of taking all their clothes off having sex and getting paid for it. This world is becoming worse and worse for porn, its about time it was all stopped and never shown again, who wants to see another naked body than your girlfriend/wifes. It really ticks me off when all men think about is naked women, breasts, p***y and ass’s whats the point? You should enjoy your partners not getting off at some other girl on the tv who you dont even know. If makeup wasnt invented i bet no guy would get off over those women in the first place because its all makeup and how they set the camera what makes the woman look good, under all that pile of makeup they’re nothing, got acne, freckles and even craters! Porn is sick and it needs to be stopped for good!
June 19th, 2006 at 6:13 am
I would prefer to look at my girlfriend than look at some slutty low life on the tv who gets paid more than hard workers just because they take their clothes off, its bang out of order. If a man is with a woman he shouldnt be looking any where else than his girlfriend, men who do are sick and twisted and need to get a life. Its about time all slags dropped dead and never seen again because they’re nothing but low life, digusting, ugly pieces of s**t who are nothing but complete and utter trash!
June 19th, 2006 at 6:19 am
I agree with my two mates ryan and james, porn is sick and needs to be stopped! Who wants to see these skinny girls who no meat on them anyways? Even if they did have meat i still wouldnt sit there and watch it, thats gross and to Keith i think what you said is really bad, in other words you’re just using women for one thing, if they dont get you off you go else where and saying if women got men off more they wouldnt do it, thats bang out of order, women arent on this earth just to get men off they’re here to give you love and no not love as in sex but love as in a relationship. Bout time men got a heart and started sharing it instead of thinking about one thing all the time and playig with themseleves, just shows how some men are really low, i’m just grateful i aint one of em!
June 27th, 2006 at 7:21 pm
I’m glad to know that i am not the only woman who has this problem. I am with a great guy, i love him, he loves me, we both love my daughter. He is always teling me he wants to marry me and how beautiful i am. The only real problem in our relationship is his Porn. He used to have a couple of stripper magazines on his dresser… it made me a little insecure but if it was only those 2 things (witch really weren’t porn) i could live with it. We have been together almost a year and for the first 7 or so months, I didn’t know about the porn he kept in a big plastic tub in his closet. We were not then and still are not living together, so i had no idea he had porn. He asked me one day why i never wore any of his t shirts or anything. I didnt want to go in his closet because i felt like it was an invasion of privacy, but if he was ok with me going in his closet, then i would feel free. One day while he was at work and my daughter was sleeping i got curious about what was in the big blue tub…Porn…..it didnt bother me a whole lot, there wasnt many pornos in there… i would live. Then him and his roomate had an argument and he moved out and moved in with his parents. He now has his large collection of Porn Mags in plain view in his room, witch keeps getting larger. about 4 months ago he started buying porn movies witch are also in plain view…….. I feel so inadiquate.. i feel like i am not pretty enough, sexual enough, thin enough for him. I hate that whenever we have sex he does something i know he pulled it out of one of his sick movies. It is degrating to be put on the same level as the women in those videos. My boyfriend has pulled alot of nasty things out of the porn that i hate him doing to me and cannot stomach. Now every time he closes his eyes during sex i wonder witch whore he is thinking about. Ever since i have learned about all the porn and the movies.. i dont want to sleep with him anymore. It has gotten to the point where i get almost no pleasure from sex…there is no foreplay and even worse, he doesnt even kiss me before we have sex anymore. He even has a picture of his favorite porn star as a screen saver for his cell phone… 4 months ago he had a picture of me him and my daughter. To make things worse, he has recently started making remarks about my sisters breasts… obviously he looks at her breasts… they are large. He calls her auntie cleavage or auntie funbags.. and jokes with his friends about her going to their 4th of july party… and a bunch of other gross crap. Every time a victoria secret commercial comes on the TV i feel angry that he is watching it. I am an attractive woman, i get complimented by people all the time about my good looks. I wear clothes that cover my breasts, i dont wear skintight pants, i dont wear tight shirts… i am not a sex toy………lately i’ve been toying with new looks, i highlighted my hair, i am getting a tan, i’m putting on makup (witch my boyfriend hates) I’ve gotten to the point where i skip meals just so i will lose what little belly fat i have. I feel like maybe if i am more attractive.. he will lose the need to look at porn. We even have arguments over porn… i hate it so he calls me a feminist… i have told him how i feel about the porn… but still it stays. It is tearing me apart emotionally, my self esteem is about 0. I feel used, ugly, unimportant and my feelings don’t matter. This is what porn has done to me. I don’t know what to do
June 29th, 2006 at 5:58 pm
I am recently going through what so many of you women are complaining about. I am 25 years old, have been married for 7 years, and have a 1 year old daughter. I had always thought of my husband as a real winner… no porn, totally trustworthy. A couple of months ago, during an argument, to admitted to me that he has a complete collection of porn and has twice gone to strip clubs with his buddies. He said that he hated the strip club experience, but had no explanation as to why he went back a second time then. I thought that it would not bother me that he watches and downloads porn… I have even tried to spice up our own sex life to keep him interested. Problem is though… he seems to not be “too tired”. But I find that he is still downloading new porn every week or two. If he is “too tired” for the real thing, why can he seem to find the energy to get on line and search for porn. I am truly at a loss and am now obsessing about this all of the time. The thought has crossed my mind to just break all of his DVDs and delete all of his files while he is not home… (and then wait for the HUGE argument that follows). Does anyone have any help for me out there on how to approach this? I am really not a bad looking women, very sucessful with my career, lost all baby weight 3 weeks after having my daughter, and feel totally undesirable. HELP!!!
July 3rd, 2006 at 5:16 am
Growing up during the sexual revolution of the seventies, I saw many moral absolutes fell by the wayside. There had been a very strong push by the immoral and the ammoral to create an “anything goes” society. Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, and Larry Flint, slimebags all, became household names. In the early eighties there was an attempt by the Meece Commission to create some parameters. (Do some research to see who mocked and opposed their efforts) The best they could try to do is curtail and criminalize “child porn”
Unfortunately, what we now have is “community standards” We “celebrate diversity” the lowest common denominator. We are a sick society.
Pornography has been one of the major exports of our nation and I believe that, as God judged the cities of the plain long ago, he will judge our nation for this tolerated crime.
For the individual couples represented in the submitted stories, there is still hope. A few years ago, I came upon a book at my church library, titled “His Needs- Her Needs” by Willard Harley. I recommend this book to every couple. As the title may hint, gals and guys have different needs. Be sure to check out the resources at the linked website.
http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi6020_needs.html
And, although I have yet to read it, I’ve heard great reports about Dr. Laura’s book “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands ”
There is something about the fantasy in porn that really hooks guys into almost addiction. If you can understand what emotional need he is missing out on, but at the same time, not tolerate porn, you may get somewhere. A lot of time and love invested does not need to end in tragedy of divorce. God bless you as you seek His highest!
July 18th, 2006 at 12:28 pm
One thing about porn i cant stand is when the women are being banged on by 4 men i mean and they they talk to her like shes trash and she enjoys it but it make me feel like crying that some men would look at fake women then real women who are much more beautiful.I admit sometimes i look at porn but then i just feel horrible its only for the exitment but u get sick of it after a while atleast i do and i hope then men will understand how degrating it is when your little borther is wacthing wrestling and the women fight is ognna be in under wear oh yeah and since when are play bpy playmates bunnies? uh wreslters its time all women relize we cant change these men and i hope that the men who wacth this get off because there only attracted to the women alsong as just plz dont but her down
July 24th, 2006 at 9:31 am
My Boyfriend of almost a year looks at porn. I have known since day one, but it never gets easier. I love him with all of my heart, but it pains me so much when I go into the history of the computer and find out he has been masturbating to anything from girls in bikini’s to hardcore porn… He once told me that he felt a lot of my beauty was hidden under extra weight ( I am not that heavy I am 165 and I run 5 miles a day) and our sex life has gone down hill.. I have talked to him about this but I always feel like I am nagging and will never get anywhere. He never goes out of his way for me, but he does go out of his way to find time to look at porn. I am debating on whether to leave him because the porn just hurts me to much, and the way he treats me compared to it is hurtful. I know I am probably insecure, but he knows this and does nothing but make it worse instead of trying to work with me.Is it really worth ending a relationship over somethng like porn? I don’t feel like he is cheating but I do feel like he wants porn more then me…
July 25th, 2006 at 9:18 pm
Honestly.. Take the time to read this.. I truly feel like this is worth reading if your a girlfriend or wife upset about your boys porn habits
Well, I’ve known that my boyfriend looks at porn since before we even started dating 2 years ago. I can remember joking with him about all the porn on his computer .. saying it was slowing down the speed of his computer. Haha, but anways.. It hasn’t really botherd me until recently, it just came outta no where. I’ve been asking him about it alot, and he tells me it really isn’t because theres a lack of something in our relationship.. but strickly for the vision stimulation. Almost EVERY guy masturbates.. it’s considerd very healthy for men and woman, so when he says its strickly to help him achieve this satisfaction, how can you argue that?(Granted hes being truthful) It is not cheating in my book, not by far. I’ve been cheated on and trust me, that hurts alot more then finding out hes looking at pictures or movies online a couple nights, or even every night, of the week. Its just jealousy on the womans part. Most the time, of course there are other cases where the guys porn habit is a problem. Anyways, I told him i’m not mad about him looking at porn.. which is true, but I’m jealous of the girls hes looking at (aka I’m not as good looking as them) and he said he understands where I’m comming from. He agreed that had he seen porn sites I’ve visited with other more attractive men he would feel iffy too. He answers all the questions I ask without any type of annoyance. I’ve asked him what type of porn he likes, with what type of woman.. and hes very open about it. This is a major reason why I can get passed the idea he looks at porn. He doesn’t hide it, and hes understanding about me being jealous. However, I catch myself checking his history on his computer, and even when hes online I wonder if hes looking at it alot more. What upsets me most is that the past couple times.. right after I’ve talked with him about how our relationship seems kinda dull ex.) I feel he was getting tired of me sexually or generally (and not because of the porn) I’ve noticed he will go home after and give himself a little tour of the local porn sites. It bothers me that I expressed being very upset about something, especially between me and him and he just goes home and looks at naked woman. Thats when I feel like I don’t mean anything or he does not care. Other then that case, I also feel like I should be doing the stuff these girls are, because this is what he gets off to. And like recently, when sex isn’t playing a big part in our relationship, I start to wonder if hes going to the porn for the quick and easy way of feeling good because I’m simply not as enjoyable. It helps me to realize honestly that he was looking at this stuff way before I ever came into the picture. If he was looking at it 2 years ago, doing the same thing now as he was then … downloading, masturbating, and deleting.. then why should I get so upset over it. Nothing in his life has changed because of me in terms of porn. Think of that logically. Most woman may say if they are in a loving relationship then men should have to look at porn anymore.. but seriously, we are all human beings. We are programmed to have sex and procreate. Honestly.. we are naturally horny. If men can’t look at porn without being attacked, then woman shouldn’t be able to read fantasy books, with that muscular handsome guy and the perfect night in some remote log cabin. Do you wish you could experience a night like that? With your husband. Most woman do. So when a guy sees a strip tease from a young teen on the internet.. can’t he be intrigued and wish he could have a little strip tease as well? From his wife. Thats fantasizing, its exactly what men do when they look at porn, and what woman do when they read those romance novels. Some may not agree with me, and I’m not siding with men looking at porn. I’m merely saying, give them a break. If they love you, care for you, and give you the support you need, then don’t get upset about looking at porn when you’re not around, or even late at night when your in bed. The only time I can understand a girl getting upset about the idea of her boyfriend or husband looking at porn, is when it takes over their lives and interferes with their relationship, or how hes supporting your family. If you’re absolutly and utterly against porn, then leave him, find a new guy, live a life of celibacy, but don’t make the boyfriend or husband look like the bad guy.. try understanding.
And oh yeah.. why is all this directed twards only men looking at porn. Many… MANY woman look at porn to get themseves off.. this isn’t something only men do. Think about that as well before you pass judgement on men. Imagine…. a woman, just like you and me.. alone, masturbating to two attractive people having sex. It happens. Alot more then you think. Everybody’s different and have their own beliefs. Its just very important to find equal ground between the two beliefs. If you hate that he looks at porn, but you know he enjoys it.. then ask him to delete the history. Or do it when your not home. Hes not hiding it.. but obviously he does not want to get caught, thats embarassing for anyone. Hes not going to bring up the fact he looks at porn, who would? First date topic? … I think not. “Oh and before we start anything serious.. I need you to know I look at porn, and I hope your okay with it.” If as a woman you dont like it, you need to bring it up.. and if he doesnt listen then leave him.. make yourself happy with out making him look like a pig.
July 27th, 2006 at 12:19 am
My husband of 8 years has got off on porn since he was a teen, it never really bothered me too much, but since having our daughter 2 years ago it has become much worse.
It’s not at all that i’m prudish or frigid, i enjoy sex as much as the next person but truthfully my days are crammed so full of children, work, housework, and all the rest, that i don’t think about sex as much as my hub would like. Plus the thought of him drooling over a bunch of sluts is’nt exactly condusive to sex, infact it now puts me off completely.
I have explained this to him and of course i got “i’m a man, thats just what we do” and “at least i’m not cheating on you”
Well to be honest he may as well be, because he gets home from his night shifts and is on his computor, and sex sex sex.
It sickens me now because he is so addicted to getting himself off that rather than spend time with his daughter, he would rather ogle his smut and nine times out of ten if i go up to his room i find that he’s bound and gagged himself.
I used to find it amusing and go along with it but now it makes me sick, that all he thinks about is that, and he would rather spend time doing that than living his life and enjoying his family. He never goes anywhere, or does anything with us as a family, which makes it worse.
That twat Keith that said we were all prudes is completely off the mark, i would like to know how in any of our situations, could he possibly feel like having sex with someone that is so addicted to ogling a bunch of sluts doing sick things to each other that he misses out on life!
I don’t believe for a second that every single man on the planet has to make his partner feel degraded by constantly looking at porn, i would love to meet one thats not, i’ve had my fair share and then some.
Any words of wisdom would be handy.
August 19th, 2006 at 8:27 pm
Ok…to all the fuckers that say we women “don’t put out for our men”…lemme tell ya somethin’. I have been with the same sick fucker for over 15 years, not by choice. He is a sick twisted fucker hooked on porn and teen fantasies. He is a pathelogical liar, a cheater, very deceptive and manipulative. Again, I am not with him by choice. One day soon, I’m gone because he doesn’t deserve a woman of quality like myself. He can turn to his internet porn and video porn for comfort when I’m gone for good. I gave this asshole the best years of my life. I “put out” all the time, constantly, whenever he wanted sex. I like sex and always wanted it every day as many times possible in a day with him, as I could get it. I am a very good looking sexy hot woman that every other man who comes in contact with me, wants. I have been offered modelling (legit) contracts that I have turned down because I am not a superficial bimbo. So to all the twisted men on this board who say that we don’t give to our men, and that is why they’ve turned to porn instead of us, I take strong exception to that. I tried to talk to him to see what the problem was many times, and for years tried to figure out why he didn’t want me seeing as all these other guys wanted me but not him. I never allowed him to make me feel ugly; I know I’m not and I have also known that he is the one with the huge physcological problems. When he was not responsive and stopped approaching me for sex, every time I asked he never ever gave me straight answers. It was always, “it’s not you, it’s me”…so I thought for a while that he was gay! Then after some time, through discovering porn movies and such around the house and seeing porn history folders on the pc, and his denying any involement every time “I don’t know where they came from, they’re not mine”, or, “I never surf those sites so it must be pop-ups”, I gave up, because you cannot reason with a nutcase. After so many times when I would put on sexy lingerie and try to seduce him, he’d get it up then it would come down because I guess I wasn’t 17 and a stupid co-ed bimbo. Again, I did all the right things and, I have it physically (I work out and am in fitness instructor lean sexy shape and well porportioned), I turn heads everywhere I go and can get any guy I want. So what is this crap about men turning to porn because their women are fat, ugly and out of shape and not willing sexually, or not giving their men what they need??? I am living proof that’s a whole load of bullcrap at least some of the time. So to all you men who say this, take your porn addicted sick perverted mentalities and shove it where the sun don’t shine. You’ll never get anyone like me to look your way. Stick to your sick fantasies and you will die very lonely ugly old decrepit men. And justifiably so. Nothing you say will change my mind on anything, so save it. You’re dealing with an extremely educated and intelligent woman on top of a confident one…
September 14th, 2006 at 1:25 am
there is so many of us i cant believe how many women feel the same way that were not gud enough and we all feel so upset and gutted about porn and mags etc…
but wot can we do? we cant face up 2 them or it becoz they either say they dont want 2 talk about it coz were just makin a big deal out of nothing or they deney it!
i just found out my bf has been watchin and lukin at porn behind my back about 2-3 weeks ago i used 2 ask him all the time if he did but he wudnt admit 2 it now he wants me 2 start buyin porn mags for him! they just dont think do they that it already hurts enough knowin about it never mind buyin that s**t for them! their just so unreal man they aint got a clue!
us women dont seem 2 matter anymore wot we think or feel its just all about them.the women in porn mags and movies and that are so pathetic it just shows and tells u something when u have 2 take ya clothes off for any1 2 notice u or 2 get attention their so sad! the mane worry ive got is when were havin sex or when hez lukin at me or touchin me is he thinkin of 1 of those lasses? i think thats a question we’ll never know becoz not 1 man wud ever tell us the truth!
October 18th, 2006 at 4:52 pm
Thank you everybody! Great and interesting READ!
How I wish my husband was alive…I would buy him the damn PORN to read!
HAHAHAHAHA
Auntie Pupule
February 25th, 2007 at 5:11 pm
From Tonka :
“Ok, Imagine a guy catches his gf eating chocolate, and then starts to think his girlfreind would rather be dating a black man and that she no longer loves him and then assumes his girlfreind is cheating on him with various black men. Yes it ridiculous but now you get the point. ”
That is the stupidest thing I have ever read on the web.
And that in no way illustrates what it is like for women and men who care more about their porn then they do real women.
From Keith:
“If you pruddish women would give it up a bit more there would be no need to look else where. Hello…..and don’t give me this crap that you do put out for your guy. there seems to be a resurgance of born again virgins on this site! Oh my man looks at porn…boo freaking hoo, get your guy off and at least act like you enjoy it and maybe it won’t be an issue. The true issue lies within yourselves not the porn industry. Get a clue!”
Keith, maybe if you and other men put down the porn and paid more attention to the girl you have, made her feel special and sexy to you, she would be more willing to put out more. You get what you give buddy. And if you aren’t getting sex, then you aren’t doing something right.
From Erin:
“Some may not agree with me, and I’m not siding with men looking at porn. I’m merely saying, give them a break.”
I would like to know when men give us (women) a break. And grow up and say..”Gee, yeah. I see how me continually seeking out other women to pleasure myself to makes her question where she stands in my life.”
The issue isn’t that men need to be given a break. Because it already sounds like men are putting the least amount of work they can into a real relationship and putting more effort into their porn.
Good for them. Maybe they can be buried with their porn since that seems to be what is truely important to them.
Frankly, it is man’s world. And men don’t care about the women in it. They only care about the images.
May 20th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
I have been married to my husband for almost 6 years and I know he looks at other women when they walk by…we even joke about it when we are out in public (when I catch him oogling…) So, why does the porn bother me? Knowing he is looking at these hardcore picture and videos makes me feel - ugly. Not good enough. Not what he REALLY wants. As a person who has been raped twice, his porn “addiction “scares me. I’ll be the first to admit, I DO have some issues with certain sexual acts. He obviously wants something that I cannot (at this time) provide, so he turns to porn to get “it”. Not once in while, but every day. I have to wonder - is he THAT tired of me and our sex life, and me not being able to provide what he wants? Lets not forget the fact that he lies about the porn. I used his laptop today very briefly and saw a few site in his history. So I viewed his weeks history and of course, he has been to hundred of sites. When I asked him about it, he lied to me. Straight out LIED. Let’s add a little salt to the wound, shall we? I get the need to masturbate. I do it too. I understand, to an extent, that men are visual people. But, can he HONESTLY tell me that when WE are having sex, he’s not remembering the video he saw that morning, or the pictures he jerked off too last week? Granted, its not a physical affair. He’s not neglecting me and our marriage by sneaking around with some random female in town. However, if my husband is spending any amount of time thinking about another women in a sexual way - to me, that’s an affair. If you have to HIDE what you are doing because you obviously know your spouse wont approve - you are soing something awrong. I wish he could understand that. I wish he would just TALK TO ME and tell me WHY he needs the porn. Perhaps work with me on overcoming my apprehensions instead of hiding his feelings from me. It only makes me question his loyalty and our marriage
June 1st, 2007 at 11:08 am
I have been with my man for 5 years and have just discovered he likes porn. I’ve tried to be really cool about the whole thing and well it’s a guy thing - right? So why do I feel it’s about me or the lack of. I’m flat chested and fought all my life to be confident and make out that there’s more to me than tits and ass but all of a sudden all my insecurities and taunting have come back to haunt me. Then I do some research for some answers to my questions hoping it’s not about me and ye, it is a guy thing, nothing to do with me it’s about him and his penis. Then I start to question the secrecy thing and how do you hide this for 5 years? Is he pretending to be something he’s not? How didn’t I know? What other secrets are there? Has he opted for the real thing? I really am trying but it’s doing my head in. The funny thing is he’s very quick to please himself during sex and yet I can count on my one hand how many times he’s made me climax in 5 years, actually no, that was me helping me! Why couldn’t he buy a book on how to do that? I’ve come to learn men will never make me happy they’re too simple and there needs and wants are too simple. I will make me happy because yes, like most women I’m complex but I’m also interesting, smart, ambitious, funny and loving. The funny thing is I always seem to be at my best when I don’t feel pressured to be the women every man wants and just be the person I want! What do I need him for? He can’t offer stimulating conversation, he’s too busy stimulating his purple headed warrior. All I can say thank gawd for girlfriends (in my case, sisters) who can satisfy everything a girl needs but for one thing - and you can get that at Ann Summers!
July 17th, 2007 at 11:42 am
I could care less that my boyfriend looks at porn, what bothers me is he like girls. Now when I say girls, I mean opposed to women. Teens. He saves all this shit to the computer, and if I stumble upon it and ask him. He makes up bull shit about how he thinks it funny. And yet time after time I find more. Now its one thing if I go looking for it, but when I go to put a picture from the comp to the internet and porn is the first thing that pops up.
I’ve tried explaining to him, it makes me feel like shit. Hell I want sex more than he does so why should he be turning to porn. I know I don’t look like I’m 17 or 16. I’m 19 and look about 23. I’ve got DD’s and 43″ hips, and I keep wondering if he wants a little girl who has the shape of a 2×4 than a woman with curves. (This is not meant to be offensive to the women who are smaller in such places but I hope the point is put across.)
August 21st, 2007 at 8:46 am
Okay,
I have recently come across the same issue as alot of the girls on this. Boyfriend of 5+ years starts one day out of the blue looking at porn. But the bigger issue is that he’s specifically looking for Asian porn. Now I am not racist, let me get that out. But when we started to go out he would hint at the whole asian thing but just wouldn’t admit it. Now I find out that it has been true all this time and that he does prefer them. Fine that was pretty much a deal breaker for me. So I ended the relationship and now am just waiting out the finer details until it actually is done.
But here is where I find the biggest issue with men and their pathetic excuse for porn. When they say that they are more visual I want all you women out there to really think about that statement. This is the biggest load of bull on the planet. We are all visual! no sex is naturally more excited by something visually and if you need proof then think about who did the supposed scientific study to prove this. MEN! So men said that men are more inclined to get excited visually than women. Doesn’t it strike you as alittle too convienent that all the sudden men had a legitimate reason to be caught with their pants down masterbating to porn? “Well honey, it’s science! I can’t help the fact that I am a pervert! See this study here fully proves that I have to look at porn or I have something wrong with me.” In response to this I think that we as women need to promote our own scientific study that states that we really only get turned on by men who have penises bigger than ten inches. Sure it wouldn’t be true. But wouldn’t it be fun to watch all those men suddenly feel a little bit less like a person and more like an object?
August 27th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
God, this all makes me feel better… I mean, just the fact that I’m not alone.
My boyfriend, unlike many others, has no shame in looking at porn and has no desire to change. We’ve talked about it a lot, why he does it and how it makes me feel. I understand his point of view (he has insomnia, so looking at porn/masturbating it helps him sleep; he has an energy-consuming job, so it takes less energy than sex), but it still makes me feel like shit. He constantly tells me that he thinks I’m beautiful and sexy, and therefore he believes that I shouldn’t feel insecure about him looking at porn. He says that the problem is my insecurity and not the fact that he looks at porn, because IF I were secure, it wouldn’t bother me. I, on the other hand, believe that he’s just trying to justify it and redirect the issue.
So in the end, I feel like crap because I hate the idea of him getting off to the idea of other women, and I feel like crap because I know I’m insecure, and I feel like crap because I end up believing that it IS my problem and not his. Who’s problem is it really? A little advice would make me feel a lot better.
September 1st, 2007 at 10:41 am
well i came on to this site thinking that i was some kind of freak and the only person in the world bothered by my husbands currant porn watchin and ive now found that there are alot of others like me and even some men out there who agree that porn is degrading and it does nothing but make a woman feel inadaqute in satisfying her man its a horrible feeling sitting in the same room as him while hes ogling other women so i go to bed but even then it niggles at me all night and i know that the minute he picks up his computer the next day that hes going to b watchin it i would love to be able to understand why i find it so hard but when i talk to him he just says its me he wants and that he looks at it to get ideas for us to try which wouldnt be a bad idea i suppose if we were having sex every night and he was trying out the ideas but hes not i get it once a week sometimes two and we dont do anything new but i do wonder if its me hes really thinkin of i dont consider myself a prude but i think porn should be banned and then more marriages would survive
September 26th, 2007 at 8:00 am
Im a girl and I have an interest in porn and I like watching it. Perhaps I am one of few. HOWEVER I have recently moved in with my boyfriend and I have just found out that he watches internet porn while I sleep. I feel dreadful because I feel like he has gone behind my back. I would never ever watch porn while he is in the flat it is usually when he is not here. Which I feel is acceptable. I guess it is just the sneakiness behind it that is bothering me and also my insecurities.
I also find it interesting that so many women feel the need to excuse guys behaviour in respect to things like this. We deserve respect and if you are not happy with it then the men who love us should respect our opninions and stop doing it. Relationships work both ways and I think that is the boot was on the other foot we would stop doing things that upset the other person.
GET SOME RESPECT GIRLS!!
June 4th, 2008 at 4:52 am
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