I've gotten into the unhealthy habit of sleeping every other day.

My niece has a book titled Nap Time for Little Big Bird or something of that nature. In it Little Big Bird doesn't want to take his nap because there's so much that he wants to do: eat cookies, play with Ernie, and other fun things. The narrating voice of reason coaxes him to bed by telling him that all those things will still be there when he wakes up. I'm just like Little Big Bird, except I ignore the voice of reason.

I did try. I've spent hours each night trying different methods, trying to sleep. But I end up lying in bed thinking about what I need to do, what I should do, and what I want to do. And then I start thinking about what an incredible waste of time lying in bed thinking is and then I get up to do something.

I've actually had this problem for years. At most it used to keep me awake late at night. As you can tell it's gotten worse over time, but this isn't the first time that I've gotten into a period of sleeping every other day.

I don't understand how some people have a fixed bedtime. What really bewilders me are the people who although completely rested still nod off whenever they're in the backseat of a moving car. Do they have some sort of internal switch that I lack? When I fall asleep, it's because physical exhaustion finally outweighs my thinking process.

Matt falls asleep easily. Once in a while, I'll shift positions and wake him as I move. He'll discover that I'm still awake and sleepily ask, "What are you thinking?" I don't know if telling him helps, but I like to believe it does. I want to pile all my thoughts into a boat and send them adrift, but instead I tell them to him softly in the dark and try my best to let go.