On Friday evening, I went with my family to my mother's Hongwanji for the bon dance. Matt asked me why I go every year when I don't dance. I used to dance when I was little and my mother dressed me in a kimono and I did dance again few years back with my sister-in-law. Dancing aside, I reminded him that we go to pay our respects to the dead. (Obon is the festival of the dead after all.) Before we eat our fried noodles and sit around the circle outside, we go in, light incense, and quietly look at the urns containing the ashes of my parent's children. Before me, before my brother, my mother lost two baby girls. I go every year for those who have passed and for my parents who will always grieve the loss of two daughters.