Riding the Tide
At first, I attempted to walk myself out of my own individual sorrows, but it was as if I was trudging slowly in deep sand. So, instead of fighting the current of this immense ocean, I decided at some point to just let the tide take me in the direction it wanted. Making this decision was a wise move for me, because it provided inspiration and waves of creativity that I had been thirsting for.
I don’t know why it is, but for some reason I am always my most creative self when I am feeling my own sadness. My wounds within are always willing to provide creative juices, but to have full access to them, I must trade off a piece of my own self. It’s kind of difficult to explain it all, but I always feel like I am making a deal with the devil to gain entrance into that creative side of myself. While I write and wallow in the mire, I can feel this unknown power tugging at me and bringing me further into a depressive state. But instead of fighting it, I shine in the darkness and write. During all of this process, there comes a time when I have the ability to decide when I will leave this state of mind, and the blues that I have been feeling become less of an internal conflict and more of a wonderful gift.