Esoteric Bowl

Some may ask why I bother
to love this alcoholic
Is it worth all the pother?
Some may ask why I bother;
He is still my father!
Though I feel melancholic,
Some may ask why I bother
to love this alcoholic.

I will save you from the dragon,
he is such an evil pest;
I shall slay him,
just like all the rest;
For you are my Princess,
in me you’ll have faith;
I promise to be kind,
I’m no Henry the Eighth;

Say you will always be true,
I don’t own a guillotine;
Spend our lives together,
and I will make you my Queen;
And when you get old,
wrinkled, and all a saggin’
I will still love you,
and save you from that dragon.

Queasy feeling, deep down inside;
Tremors echo in this body of mine;
Dizziness, then darkness; My deep sleep;
Massive earthquakes, ground is still,
I am all that moves;
Body shakes in all extremities,
in every direction;
Eyes spin, unable to focus;
Seeing nothing and nothing is seen;
Mouth clamps shut, teeth dig deep;
Tongue-tied, blood flows upon my lips.
Thereafter, I awake; Conscious yet cloudy;
Body weak, drained of all energies;
Uncomfortable shame, O great shame;
Foreign eyes, they stare me down;
How I hate those eyes;
Refusing to leave, wanting to assist;
I want nothing, but to return
to my deep sleep;
Forever.

Submerged in the hell of the past,
Satan holds me dear;
He dips my head into the sea,
only to pull me up so I can breathe;
He takes me not,
demanding a fight;
Submisson has long been given,
freely;
He throws my body all through Hell;
Like a boomerang, I return;
He seeks a fight from me;
Yet I surrender,
freely;
He cuts my soul with his teeth,
but never, O never, digs in deep;
He slashes a vein,
blood flows, but never the pain;
His desire, a cry from me;
A tear slowly falls,
freely.

Sitting at home
in my favorite chair,
I glance towards the window
and see somebody there;
My heart starts to tremble,
who do I see?
It’s only my reflection,
it is only me.

Guilt,
O deadly disease,
through my heart you burn;
In all interactions,
there you stand waiting;
Quick to enforce laws
yet to be written;
All decisions
determined;
Choice,
is not mine;
O terrible weight
upon my shoulders,
hang my head down low;
Guilt,
forever mine;
Unable to say,
“No!”

The more you scream and shout
the more I want to pull you to my ear
The more you cry
the more I want to taste your tears
The more you walk away
the more I want to wrap my arms around you
The more you open up
the more I want to come inside
The more sassy you become
the more I want to spank your ass
The more I see your eyes
the more I want to dive into them
The more you are hurt by others
the more I wonder why you let them in.