100 Dumb Questions
Every once in a while it’s a good idea to take stock of oneself and to delve into one of those online questionnaires with the one-hundred questions that helps to provide insight into who we are. This is not one of those questionnaires. This is one-hundred dumb questions
with an equal amount of dumb answers.
1. Are you an innie or an outie? Innie.
2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms? Oh course, I’m a child of the 70’s.
3. Have you ever written a song? No.
4. Can you make change for a dollar right now? Yes. Pennies count, right?
5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex’s public toilet? Yes.
6. Have you ever smelled your own feet? Not purposely.
7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your french fries? Put it on the side.
8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose? Yes. I would rather use it for other purposes.
9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout? No. But I had a friend that was a girl boy scout.
10. Have you ever broken a mirror? Hey, do I look that ugly?
11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole? Frozen? no. But she was a liitle cold.
12. What is your biggest pet peeve? The phrase pet peeve.
13. Do you slurp your drink after its gone? If it is gone, how would I slurp it?
14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk? No.
15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper? I would rather stick a finger in my eye.
16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping? Yes. But I wasn’t all that skinny.
17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic? I don’t ask. They always ask me.
18. True or False: You would rather eat steak than pizza. False.
19. Did you have a baby blanket? I can only assume.
20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair? Yes.
21. Have you ever sleepwalked? As far as I know, no.
22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds? That’s just sad.
23. Can you flip your eye-lids up? And I would do this, why?
24. Are you double jointed? Not that I know of.
25. If you could be any age, what age would you be? Young enough to know everything.
26. Have you ever gotten gum stuck in your hair? No. I can’t blow bubbles that big.
27. Have you ever thrown-up after a roller coaster ride? Yes.
28. What is your dream car? Jaguar. But I don’t usually dream of cars.
29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time? Daffy Duck.
30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child? Yes.
32. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit? No. They call them dog biscuits for a reason.
33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, which would you do first? Get out of the car.
34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance? Yes. But they never let me drive.
35. Can you pick something up with your toes? I generally use my hands.
36. How many remote controls do you have in your house? One.
37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school? Yes, I did once for four years.
38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year? None.
39. How many foreign countries have you visited? Far less than I would like.
40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal? What do you mean if I were out of shape?
41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy? I’ve done poor and happy. I think I would like to give rich and unhappy a try.
42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float? If I fell into quicksand, I would see it as fate and enjoy the moment.
44. Do you ask for directions when you are lost? Sometimes.
45. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean? No.
46. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland? Definately Alice.
47. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points? It is easier to sharpen a crayon than it is to catch an ant.
48. Do you prefer light or dark bread? I’ll have the dark.
49. Do you prefer scrambled or fried eggs? Depends on what I’m eating with them.
50. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas? Yes.
51. Do you talk in your sleep? I’ve been told I do.
52. Would you rather shovel snow or mow the lawn? Mow.
53. Would you rather be bitten by a poisonous snake or constricted by a python? Bitten. I prefer bouts with pain to be quick.
54. Have you ever played in the rain? Yes, of course.
55. Which do you think is more dangerous: an angry bear or a hungry white shark? I avoid both equally.
56. Would you climb a very high tree to save a kitten? Maybe. Depends on how high is very high.
57. Can you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? Yes. One of them makes better shoes.
58. Do you drink pepsi or coke? Coke.
59. Whats your favorite number? I don’t really have one.
60. If you were a car, would you be an SUV or a sports car? Sports Car. I don’t why, but it sounds good.
61. Have you ever accidentally taken something from a hotel? No, not accidentally.
62. Would you blow your nose at the dinner table? No.
63. Have you ever slipped in the bathtub? Slipped, but never fell.
64. Do you use regular or deodorant soap? Regular soap.
65. Have you ever locked yourself out of the house? Yes.
66. Would you rather make your living as a singing cowboy or as one of the Simpsons voices? Simpson voice. Doh!
67. If you could invite any movie star to your home for dinner, who would it be? Julia Roberts. She seems fun.
68. Have you ever gotten a truck driver to honk his horn? Yes.
69. Which would you rather live with: a huge nose or crossed eyes? I prefer to live on my own. Roomates are such a hassle.
70. Would you hang out with someone your best friend didnt like? I suppose.
71. Would you hang out with someone your best friend liked, but you didn’t like? Why would I hang out with someone that I didn’t like?
72. Have you ever returned a gift? No.
73. Would you give someone else a gift that had been given to you? Sure.
74. If you could attend an Olympic Event, what would it be? Syncronized Sleeping.
75. How many pairs of shoes do you own? Do bunny slippers count?
76. If your grandmother gave you a gift that you already have, would you tell her? My grandmothers have passed, so if one of them gave me a gift, I certainly wouldn’t be tell them it is something that I already have.
77. Do you sing in the car? No.
78. Would you rather jump into a dumpster or into a vat of honey? I’ll get back to you on this one.
79. What is your favorite breed of dog? The kind that is potty-trained.
80. Would you donate money to feed starving animals in the winter? I’m usually strapped for cash in the winter because of the holidays. Ask me in the Spring.
81. If you were a bicycle, would you be a stingray or a mountain bike? Stingray. I prefer level ground instead of peaks and valleys.
82. What is your least favorite fruit? Bananas.
83. What kind of fruit have you never had? Dunno.
84. If you won a $5,000 shopping spree to any store, which store would you pick? The Complete Kitchen.
85. What brand sports apparel do you wear the most? I don’t.
86. Are/were you a good student? That depends on the definition of ‘good student’.
87. Among your friends, who could you arm wrestle and beat? Bobbie.
88. If you had to choose, what branch of the military would you be in? Navy.
89. Would you ever parachute out of a plane? Only if my life depended on it.
90. What do you think is your best feature? Compassion.
91. If you were to win a grammy, what kind of music would it be for? Rock-n-Roll.
92. What is your favorite season? Winter.
93. How many members do you have in your immediate family? Five.
94. Which of the five senses is most important to you? I will say, touch.
95. Would you be a more successful painter or singer? I couln’t make a living on either. But if I could be talented in one of them, I would rather be a successful painter.
97. How many years will/did you end up going to college? Ask me when I’m old. At this point, who knows.
98. Have you ever had surgery? Yes.
99. Would you rather be a professional figure skater or professional football player? Neither.
100. What do you like to collect? My thoughts.