Archive for February, 2003

Brothers

Thursday, February 27th, 2003

Perhaps I have mentioned my brothers in posts from the past, but I’ve never written a post specifically about them. My failure to write about them has not been intentional, nor is it out of some life long grudge. I still think about them every day, and often reminisce about the times we shared in our youth.

We haven’t all been together as a family in many years. To my parents credit, they raised three strong-minded and independent men. Our geography alone speaks to that independence. With one brother living in New York, another living in Los Angeles, and with me in Hawaii, I don’t think we could be much further away from each other and still be living in the States.

We don’t correspond with each other as much as we should. Instead, we all keep in touch with Mom & Dad, and then they pass the news and happenings along. It may seem a bit odd to the outsider, but it seems to work for us. Still, it’s always a nice surprise to hear from my brothers whenever they do get in touch.

The oldest brother lives in Los Angeles. He is some kind of bigshot at a company that repairs and maintains heavy-duty equipment, you know, like earth movers and stuff like that. It’s not surprising that he would be in such a field, since he always seemed to be elbow-deep into grease and oil. But I think his position is more on a teaching level now, flying around the country to seminars and getting perks like free World Series tickets from the Anaheim Angels. His only child is all grown-up now, and she is getting married next month.

The second oldest brother lives in New York. He served in the Army for a whole bunch of years, and during that time was fortunate to travel all around the world. He is currently enrolled at a university, and quickly approaching his degree. He is also the father of five kids of various ages. It’s not surprising that he would surround himself with children, since he always seemed to have a special knack with them.

Urology News

Friday, February 21st, 2003

It was last December when I first discovered a lump. When the lump didn’t go away with time, I went to the hospital to have it checked out. I saw a doctor, had some tests done, and was told that I would receive a letter in the mail in around a month.

This past tuesday, I finally received that promised letter. It was from the Urology Clinic, suggesting that I call to schedule an appointment. I phoned the clinic and learned that I have cancer. An appointment was made for me to come in on March 28.

Ever since I first became aware of the lump, I have been concerned. I wrestled with the idea of sharing the related thoughts in this journal, but declined for a couple of reasons. I thought it might look rather silly if I posted my concerns and then later learned that it was nothing more than a pimple. I also didn’t want to cross that thin blog line where sharing turns into whining and the journal becomes one of those pity-blogs.

There are many of you out there that I consider my friends. Not blog-friends or journal friends, or any other kind of hyphenated description, but friends. In reading your journals, comments, and emails, you have provided me with a glimpse into your lives, and I have found myself caring about you, and I know that the feelings are mutual. So I share this news with you in the same vein as my prior entries, just to let you know what is going on with me.

Bush & Iraq

Thursday, February 20th, 2003

Following the September 11 attacks, amidst the anguish, death, and destruction, there was an overwhelming union between people. Many would note that the world had changed, our priorities had been reevaluated, and there was a strong belief that together we would emerge from the clouds of darkness.

Around the world, people grieved with America and felt her loss. Nations flags flew at half-mast, flower bouquets piled outside of American embassies, and comments made from French Prime Minister Jean-Pierre Raffarin declaring that “We are all Americans” was a popular sentiment with most of the free world.

At home in the States, there was evidence that we as a people had become one. Despite the questionable way in which President Bush had arrived in office, party-politics became secondary, and there was a rally of the masses around their president.

Instead of using the strong support at home and abroad, the Bush Administration proceeded to make a number of questionable moves that would alienate those that had come to his support. The President’s statement that “You are for us or against us” was unnecessary, and it rubbed even the most ardent supporters the wrong way. The Bush Administration then proceeded to publicly question the patriotism of any American that disagreed with their new policies.

Prior to the attacks on Afghanistan, both the French and German governments had offered military arms and troops to assist the American effort. Rather than choosing to strengthen these alliances and work together for the greater cause against terrorism, the Bush Administration declined these offers, an insult of international proportions. This unwillingness to work alongside specific European allies was not only a sign of disrespect, but it also provided a glimpse into how those in the Administration really felt about these Euroupean friends. Disdainful references later made towards “Old Europe” solidified those feelings.

In the push towards war on Iraq, President Bush once again used rhetoric that questioned the patriotism of Americans that went against his plan. At various levels of government, there was strong disagreement in going to war from both Republicans and Democrats alike, though the political pressure applied by the Administraion would have made voting against the war political suicide. The bully tactics had worked.

The Bush Administration decided to use political pressure rather than evidence to make its case for war in Iraq. The President and those in his Administration publicly questioned the validity and relevance of the UN Security Council (which the US is a member) if it were not willing to enforce its own resolutions.  While the political pressure had once again resulted in getting what the Bush Administration desired, their political methods in gaining these votes widened the division between some of the closest allies the United States had.

On November 27, Dr Hans Blix and his team of UN weapons inspectors began work in Iraq. Dr Blix was a compromise choice selected by UN Secretary General Kofi Annan. The UN Security Council had rejected Rolf Ekeus, the candidate put forward by the United States and Britain. As the inspections began, the Bush Administration intensified its push for war. There have been charges that Saddam Hussein is not fully cooperating with the inspectors. Dr Blix had voiced similar charges in his first formal statement to the Security Council, although his second statement to the Council had less teeth and recommended further inspections.

When Secretary of State Colin Powell spoke before the United Nations members, he made the case that Saddam Hussein’s continued noncompliance of Resolution 1441 should result in military action. Powell’s argument was less than what was advertised, and the long promised smoking gun was vague at best. The UN Council was not convinced by Powell’s argument for war, following instead the Blix recommendation for further inspections. President Bush once again questioned the relevance of the United Nations, suggesting that the Council might have become nothing more than a “debating society”.

The call to continue the weapons inspections has been led by the French government. It has been suggested that the French are the moral conscious of the United Nations. It’s difficult to accept this suggestion, particularly when the French government has their hand deep within the Iraqi cookie jar. Not only has Saddam Hussein built a 4 billion dollar IOU with the French, which would obviously be null and void if a new government were installed in Iraq, but the French government also has substantial oil contracts with the Hussein government.

The masses of people involved in the Peace/Anti-War Movement throughout the world continues to grow. Largely because of the rhetoric used by Bush and his Administration, the movement for peace has bled into a strong form of Anti-Americanism. A figure as despicable as Saddam Hussein, a man that is responsible for killing a million Iranians, thousands of Kuwaitis, and tens of thousands of his own people has all too easily faded from the protest. While few people support Saddam Hussein and his government, Bush and his Administration has somehow managed to make Saddam Hussein a sympathetic character. At the same time, leaders of America’s closest allies are feeling the political pressure from their own people, and political careers are now in jeopardy.

A Day of Banking

Tuesday, February 18th, 2003

I recently had to go to my neighborhood bank to take care of some financial matters. It was one of those banking things that couldn’t be taken care of by a teller, but instead required the attention and expertise of someone sitting behind a desk.

I entered the bank, signed the log, and sat quietly as I waited for my name to be called. The wait was longer than I had expected, considering the bank was fairly empty. I watched as the customer service person talked and joked with the loan representative, neither woman in any particular hurry to work. I don’t know what they were talking and laughing about, but perhaps they were just expressing their joy for not being bank tellers.

I didn’t mind so much having to wait for the customer service person, but it would have been somewhat easier to accept the wait if I knew that she was busy with another customer, rather than just talking story with a co-worker. I occasionally glanced over in her direction, trying to make eye contact with her so that she would know that I was waiting to be helped. In between that time, I studied the various art pieces, admired the grandeur of the architecture, and watched the other customers come and go.

Eventually, a soft voice called my name, and I jumped from my seat. We greeted each other with a smile, and I followed her towards her desk. Her high-back leather chair looked considerably nicer and much more comfortable than the chair that was offered to me, which was one step above a wooden stool and one step below a lawn chair. She asked what I needed help with, and I explained that my bankcard was about to expire and that I would like to order a new one. The brief rolling of her eyes was a subtle sign that she didn’t want to take care of this petty task. She asked me if I was aware that this request could be made online, and I told her I didn’t know that. She opened the top drawer on the right of her, glanced inside, and then got up from her desk to ask her loan friend if she had a particular form on hand. She returned with the form and sat with a sigh that was clearly meant for me to hear.

What I did next, some might consider an act of evil. Others might see it as something that will eventually come back to haunt me in the future. I’m unsure why I did what I did, but perhaps it was a spontaneous desire to cure boredom. Maybe it was an unplanned social experiment to see how someone would respond to a particular suggestion. Or perhaps it was just a way for me to mess with the head of this particular someone from the bank. Whatever was the cause or reason behind it all, once I started, I couldn’t take it back.

“Do you know that you have ghosts in this bank?” I asked.
She quickly looked up from the form that she was filling out and looked into my eyes. “What? Really?” Her eyes then gazed toward the high ceiling, attempting to see some ghost-like figure. She seemed to be more fasinated than fearful, which was a good thing. I felt a responsibility to offer her some assurance that all was safe and there was nothing to fear. I had seen enough television psychics to play the vague game of sharing brief tidbits of information.

After the paperwork was signed and the transaction complete, I thanked her for her time and assistance and walked away. I honestly felt a regret for having lied to her, but not so much as to tell her the truth. I looked back over my shoulder and saw her gazing the ceiling as she slowly walked towards her loan friend. I thought to myself, now they have something to talk about.

Rain on Valentine’s

Friday, February 14th, 2003

The sky is very dark and gray and the rain continues to fall. The air is cold with the absense of the Sun. Perfect weather to spoon and snuggle on cool sheets.

There was a time between my jumping in puddle days and young adulthood where I would dread the rain. The rainfall became an annoyance to drive in, to get stuck in, and it was often a fuel for depressive poetry.

Then I was reminded of a Hawaiian tale. The story involves the theory of how the islands of Hawaii were created. It unfolds rather interestingly, yet the part that has remained with me throughout the years is that when it rains, Father-Sky is making love to Mother-Earth.

How could I ever dread the rain again after being left with this thought? As I punch these keys, I can hear the rain kissing the Earth outside my window. On Valentine’s day, it not only seems appropriate that it should rain, but also a blessing.

Plastic & Duct Tape

Thursday, February 13th, 2003

According to Homeland Security Secretary Tom Ridge, American citizens should have plastic sheeting and duct tape on hand. “Sealed windows and doors can provide a protective barrier against terrorist chemical attacks.”

Bullshit!

This advice is about as stupid as telling school children that getting underneath their desks will protect them from nuclear attack.

Still, hardware stores are reporting that they don’t have the supply on hand for the increased demand for duct tape and plastic sheeting. If it wasn’t so sad, it would be funny. Are we really going to be a nation of bubble-boys & bubble-girls?

I saw on television where a guy has wrapped the entire exterior of his house in plastic sheeting and duct tape. What a moron. His family must be so very proud.

The terrorists don’t even have to attack again. Terror is the main objective of terrorists, that’s why they are called terrorists. The terror-seed has been planted. Unfortunately, rather than encouraging calm, the government is using the terror and fear many feel to further their own agenda, while the media is promoting it because fear sells. I’m not buying it!

Is it just me, or does Code Orange sound like a new carbonated drink?

Loss of Voice

Monday, February 10th, 2003

It appears that I have lost my voice. But the cause doesn’t derive from an inflamed throat. Instead, this loss of voice stems from an overall numbness which affects the voice that I depend on to write with.

There is so much happening in the world, and I want to articulate my thoughts. But at the same time, it feels like the world is spinning just a little too fast and my thoughts can’t be gathered. Talk of war, concerns about the definition of National Security, economic problems continuing to escalate at home and abroad, axis of evil, color codes for each individual day, conflict on every front, death, destruction, illness, and far more finger-pointing than solutions.

How did we get to where we are? There are countless theories about the motives of each individual nation and their leadership. Every problem seems to have its own spin, while each solution involves a political battle. It’s becoming far more difficult to recognize truth, and the world community seems to be experiencing some kind of psychosis where reality has become distorted.

I watch the leaders of the world and the members of the United Nations as they pose, posture, and speak in soundbites. Their eyes show an urgency when they address the media, and yet they laugh and joke when they believe they are off camera. I can’t help but question their motives and wonder what exists within their hearts. I look upon the crowds that are gathering at the peace rallies, and I admire their commitment to the cause. But even the voices of peace sometimes appear to have become politicized into some form of Anti-Americanism, which only seems to cloud the greater cause.

There is a part of me that attempts to shrug it all off. I remind myself that each moment and every event will eventually pass, but this malaise continues to drag on for far too long and I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. There is a part of me that wants to do something of significance towards peace, towards positive change, but it’s become apparent that no matter how many rallies there are, number of petitions that are signed, or speeches made, the politicians have already decided in which direction they are going. My leaders have turned a deaf ear to me and it’s just as well; I’ve lost my voice.