New Iraqi Leader
Whether Saddam Hussein leaves on his own or is removed by force, it’s apparent that Iraq will soon be in need of a new leader. While it may take some time for the eventual leader to be decided upon, here is my own list of nine possible candidates to fill the vacancy:
* James Gandolfini: Considering his contract woes with HBO, the Sopranos’ star may soon be looking for employment. Despite all his faults, Tony Soprano does have leadership qualities.
* Oprah Winfrey: Doesn’t she rule most of the world already? Certainly her can do attitude would get things done. Besides, she could bring Dr. Phil with her to help people cope through the transition.
* Bullwinkle: Okay, so he doesn’t have much leadership experience and he’s only a cartoon, but the pairing of Iraqi and Bullwinkle is a natural.
* Michael Jordan: Hey, he saved basketball didn’t he?
* Celine Dion: Anything that will stop her from singing is a plus. Besides, she’s Canadian, so by birthright she has all the answers.
* Sharon Osbourne: After dealing with Ozzie, obnoxious kids, and cancer all at the same time, the problems of Iraq would be a piece of cake for this tough-as-nails woman.
* Homer Simpson: Hey, I had to get a Simpson in here somehow. Besides, Homer does have experience with hazardous materials.
* Al Gore: C’mon, let the guy be president somewhere.
* Jimmy Kimmel: The advantage here is that he wouldn’t be missed.