Young, Naive, & Idealistic
It should be noted that I was once young, naive, and idealistic.
I was sharing a large oceanfront home with three guys and a girl. Aside from the occasional morning chitchat in the kitchen, or the few times we all happened to be watching television together, the five of us did our own thing and had lives of our own outside the home.
Two of the guys had planned a party, and since I was invited and didn’t have anything else going on, I decided to stick around. A total of fifteen people were expected to come, but within a few hours twice as many people had filled our house, backyard, and patio. It wasn’t a problem though, as there was plenty of food, drink, and party essentials for all to enjoy.
I had spent most of the night meeting and mingling. As the time passed into the night, half of the crowd had left and the party mellowed with soft music and the occasional outburst of laughter. Those remaining were either involved in small group discussions or had paired off into intimate twos.
I was sitting out on the patio, nursing a beer, invovled in conversation with a woman that I had met earlier in the evening. She was six years older than I, and from Peru. Despite her limited English and my inadequate Spanish skills, we were able to discuss a variety of issues and share in some laughter as well. We shared stories about ourselves, our individual travels, and our common love of Hawaii.
During our discussion, she told me that her visa had recently expired and that despite her repeated requests, Immigration was forcing her to leave Hawaii and to return to Peru. It was an emotional subject for her, and I could see the frustration in her eyes. She loved her country dearly, but she had been in the States long enough to realize that a better future for her was here.
She had four days before she had to leave. Her options had run out and the only alternative that remained was for someone to marry her. I felt badly for her, but not in a pity kind of way. I felt badly because here was this woman that wanted only the opportunity for a better life for herself and yet it was being denied on the basis of where she was born. It was unfair.
She told me that a couple of guys had volunteered to marry her, but she had refused their offers because they wanted money or sex or both in return. Somewhere in the night, I volunteered to marry her. I did so not for the promise of money or sex. I thought that helping her stay here might be the greatest opportunity that I would ever have to help someone change their life in such a dramatic way. I thought that no matter what else I do in life, I might be able to reflect on this act of giving and know that at least once, I put someone before myself without any expectation of something in return. Like I said, I was young, naive, and idealistic.
Anyway, we did rush to get married and we did eventually divorce. In between those events we ended up spending five years or so together. We no longer keep in touch, but last I heard is that she lives near the Great Lakes, is married to a dentist, and they have a half a dozen kids.