Question #72 from The Book of Questions:
If you could have free, unlimited service for five years from an extremely good cook, chauffeur, housekeeper, masseuse, or personal secretary, which would you choose?
My order of preference would be:
Masseuse
Chauffeur
Housekeeper
Cook
Secretary
How about you?
The Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in a joint effort with the Federal Trade Commission (FTC) have established the national Do-Not-Call registry. Consumers that no longer wish to receive unwanted telemarketing calls can register their telephone number to the registry and then this list will be provided to telemarketers, who will then be prohibited from calling those numbers.
In theory, it’s a good idea to put an end to unwanted telemarketing calls. But for this specific plan to work, one must first assume that no one in the government or corporate world will abuse their access to this information. We have seen firsthand how the corporate world responds to repeated consumer requests for unsolicited commercial e-mail from filling our online mailboxes. If there is a loophole in the law, the corporate world will find it. And considering that political organizations and non-profit groups are exempt from the current revisons to the law, it’s not difficult to imagine this registry of information finding its way into the wrong hands.
Perhaps I’m just too cynical, but the idea of giving a telephone number to the Fed so that they can make a registry of numbers that telemarketers can’t call seems to be doing things backwards. Although over 26.3 million telephone numbers have already been registered, this number is only a small fraction of the total number of telephones in this country, which means that the vast majority will remain available to telemarketing calls. If the FCC and FTC seriously want to put a halt to such calls, they should reverse the process and devise a Call Me Registry. With such a registry, the consumers that want to receive telemarketing calls would register their numbers, and telemarketers could only call these people.
A short time ago, I clicked on a link that one of my daily reads had posted. The link led me to one of the many T & A girlie sites that are available on the web. Similar to other such sites, this one had photographs of semi-clothed women in provocative poses with pouty lips and wanting eyes.
Although I had no desire to become a full-fledged member with all the benefits to the site for the low price of $7.95 per month, I decided to do a free browse that is available to all new visitors. I clicked through a few pages, seeing the stereotypical blonde Barbie, the grunge girl in boots, the Asian doll, the multi-pierced goth chick, the painted Maybelline lady, and the Bo Peep that had lost her sheep.
With my next click of the mouse, I saw a photograph of a woman with a beauty that was mesmerizing. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. Granted, she was clutching her bare breasts, but that wasn’t where her beauty shined. Her beauty was in the warm nature of her face, the long delicate lashes, and the softness of her lips. With her eyes closed, she almost appeared angelic. Even the artistic tattoo on her upper-left arm flowed easily as if it were always meant to be there.
Okay, I know she is just a web-girl looking to make an easy buck. And I probably did see far more into her than there actually was. Still, I see nothing wrong with enjoying beauty wherever it may exist, and if the beauty causes the mind to wander, so be it.
This brings me to the present, or more accurately, a couple of weeks ago. I was at Ala Moana Shopping Center, searching for something that a friend had asked me to find. While going from store to store, a familiar site caught my eye. That site was the tattooed left arm of the web-girl. I looked at the face and there was no question that it was her. She was here, in Hawaii. I wondered if she was visiting the islands or if she lived here. This wondering would be the last coherent thoughts I would have for the next few moments.
Now I’m not one to get starstruck. Through the years I have seen many celebrities in the islands and I’ve never felt the need to approach them. Most of them come to Hawaii to get away from all the fans, and I can respect that. However, in this case, she wasn’t really a celebrity, yet I allowed myself to get totally lost in the moment and without thinking, I approached her.
“Excuse me, aren’t you the woman on the web?”
If I could have grabbed those words from my mouth, I would have. Unfortunately, they rolled across my tongue before I realized that I was saying them. There I was, standing before her, with the capital letters of L for LOSER and D for DICK stamped across my forehead. She turned towards me in what felt like slow motion. It was her alright, but she looked much different from her photograph. She looked emotionally hardened and physically worn beyond her years.
“I usually don’t like when people approach me,” she said. I quickly raised both hands openly in front of me, wanting to apologize as well as deflect any verbal darts that she may decide to throw in my direction. “Okay, I’m so sorry,” I said. As I walked out of the store with my tail between my legs, I wondered why in the hell did I do that.
As much as I want to trust my government, it’s difficult to do when everything from this administration is wrapped in a shroud of secrecy. It isn’t possible to link all the secrecy issues that involve this administration. According to the Information Security Oversight Office, the Bush administration created an astonishing 33 million new secrets during its first year in office.
Fortunately a federal appeals court has refused a Bush administration’s request to stop a lawsuit that delves into Vice President Dick Cheney’s behind closed doors meetings with energy industry executives and lobbyists during the writing of the energy policy.
It’s difficult to trust a government that continually refuses to reveal public information, and at the same time has a lust for our individual liberties and personal rights.
Bush Administration Quote of the Week:
“I think the burden is on those people who think he didn’t have weapons of mass destruction to tell the world where they are.”
Ari Fleischer, July 9.
May 1
Bush declares major fighting in Iraq over.
June 18
Rumsfeld blames Iraq problems on pockets of dead-enders.
July 11
“We’re seeing a lot of hostile action. We don’t read about it that much anymore, but there are 10 to 25 attacks on US soldiers and Marines every day.”
Tom Gjelten, NPR, Washington Week.
And the slow constant drip continues.
July 9
* Dan H. Gabrielson, 39, Spooner, Wisconsin
* Melissa Valles, 26, Eagle Pass, Texas
July 8
* Craig A. Boling, 38, Elkhart, Indiana
* Robert L. McKinley, 23, Kokomo, Indiana
July 7
* Chad L. Keith, 21, Batesville, Indiana
* Barry Sanford, Sr., 46, Aurora, Colorado
July 6
* David B. Parson, 30, Kannapolis, North Carolina
* Jeffrey M. Wershow, 22, Gainesville, Florida
July 3
* Edward J. Herrgott, 20, Shakopee, Minnesota
* Corey L. Small, 20, East Berlin, Pennsylvania
July 2
* Travis J. Bradachnall, 21, Multnomah County, Oregon
July 1
* Christopher D. Coffin, 51, Bethlehem, Pennsylvania
June 28
* Timothy M. Conneway, 22, Enterprise, Alabama
* Kevin C. Ott, 27, Columbus, Ohio
* Gladimir Philippe, 37, Linden, New Jersey
June 27
* Tomas Sotelo, Jr., 20, Houston, Texas
June 26
* Corey A. Hubbell, 20, Urbana, Illinois
* Richard P. Orengo, 32, Puerto Rico
June 25
* Andrew F. Chris, 25, California
* Gregory E. MacDonald, 29, Washington, D.C.
June 24
* Cedric L. Lennon, 32, West Blocton, Alabama
* Russell Aston, 30, Derbyshire, England
* Simon Hamilton-Jewell, 41, Surrey, England
* Benjamin Hyde, 23, Yorkshire, England
* Thomas R. Keys, 20, Llanuwchllyn, Wales
* Paul G. Long, 24, Essex, England
* Simon Miller, 21, Tyne and Wear, England
June 22
* Orenthial J. Smith, 21, of Allendale, South Carolina
June 19
* Paul T. Nakamura, 21, Santa Fe Springs, California
June 18
* Michael R. Deuel, 21, Nemo, South Dakota
* William T. Latham, 29, Kingman, Arizona
June 17
* Robert L. Frantz, 19, San Antonio, Texas
* Michael L. Tosto, 24, Apex, North Carolina
June 16
* Shawn D. Pahnke, 25, Shelbyville, Indiana
* Joseph D. Suell, 24, Lufkin, Texas
June 15
* Ryan R. Cox, 19, Derby, Kansas
June 13
* Andrew R. Pokorny, 30, Naperville, Illinois
June 12
* John K. Klinesmith, Jr., 25, Stockbridge, Georgia
June 10
* Gavin L. Neighbor, 20, Somerset, Ohio
June 8
* Michael E. Dooley, 23, Pulaski, Virginia
June 7
* Jesse M. Halling, 19, Indianapolis, Indiana
June 6
* Doyle W. Bollinger, Jr., 21, Poteau, Oklahoma
* Travis L. Burkhardt, 26, Edina, Missouri
June 5
* Branden F. Oberleitner, 20, Worthington, Ohio
June 3
* Atanacio Haro-Marin, 27, Baldwin Park, California
June 1
* Jonathan W. Lambert, 28, Newsite, Mississippi
May 30
* Michael T. Gleason, 25, Warren, Pennsylvania
* Kyle A. Griffin, 20, Emerson, New Jersey
* Zachariah W. Long, 20, Milton, Pennsylvania
May 28
* Kenneth R. Bradley, 39, Utica, Mississippi
* Jose A. Perez III, 22, San Diego, Texas
May 27
* Thomas F. Broomhead, 34, Cannon City, Colorado
* Michael B. Quinn, 37, Tampa, Florida
May 26
* Keman L. Mitchell, 24, Hilliard, Florida
* Kenneth A. Nalley, 19, Hamburg, Iowa
* Brett J. Petriken, 30, Michigan
* Mathew E. Schram, 36, Wisconsin
* Jeremiah D. Smith, 25, Odessa, Missouri
* Jonathan W. Lambert, 28, Newsite, Mississippi
May 25
* David Evans, Jr., 18, Buffalo, New York
May 21
* Nathaniel A. Caldwell, 27, Omaha, Nebraska
May 19
* Dominic R. Baragona, 42, Ohio
* Andrew D. Lamont, 31, Eureka, California
* Jason W. Moore, 21, San Marcos, California
* Timothy L. Ryan, 30, Aurora, Illinois
* Kirk A. Straseskie, 23, Beaver Dam, Wisconsin
* Aaron Dean White, 27, Shawnee, Oklahoma
May 18
* Douglas J. Marencoreyes, 28, Chino, California
* Rasheed Sahib, 22, Brooklyn, New York
May 16
* Williams L. Payne, 46, Michigan
May 14
* David T. Nutt, 32, Douglas, Georgia
May 13
* Patrick L. Griffin, Jr., 31, Dryden, New York
* Nicholas B. Kleiboeker, 19, Irvington, Illinois
May 12
* Jose Rodriguez, 19, Norwalk, California
* Jakub Henryk Kowalik, 21, Schaumburg, Illinois
May 10
* Matthew R. Smith, 20, Anderson, Indiana
May 9
* Cedric E. Bruns, 22, Vancouver, Washington
* Richard P. Carl, 26, King Hill, Idaho
* Hans N. Gukeisen, 31, Lead, South Dakota
* Brian K. Van Dusen, 39, Columbus, Ohio
May 8
* Marlin T. Rockhold, 23, Hamilton, Ohio
* Duncan G. Pritchard, 22, Suffolk, England
May 4
* Jason L. Deibler, 20, Hampton, Virginia
May 3
* Sean C. Reynolds, 25, East Lansing, Michigan
May 1
* Jesse A. Givens, 34, Springfield, Missouri
Following the standard morning business of the day, a co-worker approached me and pulled me aside from the others. He told me that when his wife had come to pick him up from work the day before, she had seen me and had asked about me.
Generally I would have shrugged this off as no big deal, but his secretive tone in telling me this information was puzzling, after all it was his wife that he was speaking about. He then told me that he and his wife would like for me to come over to their home on Friday night. When I asked what for, he gave me a wink and a nod and told me that it was a surprise.
Admittedly, I had no idea what this surprise could be. I didn’t know this coworker very well and our friendship had never gone beyond the working environment. Being nineteen at the time, I accepted the invitation with very little thought of consequence.
Eventually, after considering how the situation had unfolded, I concluled that the surprise must involve sex in some fashion. I could find no other logical explanation. Each day as Friday grew closer, my co-worker would solidify my assumptions by approaching me with a big smile on his face and asking if I was ready for the big surprise on Friday. Before I could ever answer him, he would always chuckle and say that he was ready.
Although certain moral and ethical issues were considered, I ultimately decided that I would see what this surprise was all about. I also decided that if it came down to something that I wasn’t in to, I would just say so. And who knows, maybe it will be fun, I told myself.
Friday night arrived. Although I was actually excited to discover what this surprise was all about, my nervousnous definately outweighed the excitement I was feeling. Following the makeshift map that he had given me, I slowly drove to their home with the moral and ethical issues once again running through my head.
She is a married woman for God’s sake!
Yeah, but her husband is consenting.
So! And what if he wants to watch? Are you sick?
I won’t let him watch.
Well, what if they are into threesomes? Did you ever consider that?
Hey, let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
I knock on the door and the wife answers. Following a pleasant greeting, she invites me inside the home. I was rather surprised to see other people there, about ten in all. I look at the other guests and most of them have a look in their eyes that describes my very own feeling; shock. That feeling magnifies and then is quickly replaced by my own laughter when I discover that this is an Amway party.
Constant Cravings: (In no particular order)
* Rocky Road Ice Cream
* Mom’s Lasagna
* A Hard Rain
* Popeye’s Chicken
* Burritos
* Passionate Sex
* Saimin
* Cashew Nuts
* To See Family Once More
* Pizza
* Nachos
* An Open Road
* Pastrami & Swiss on Rye
* Tonkatsu
* Sweaty Sex
* Prime Rib
* Pumpkin Pie
* A Good Night’s Sleep