Chapped
There have been occasions in life where I have done things without thinking. Real silly things that make no sense whatsover, and no amount of time passing can remove the stigma of idiocy nor the embarrassment of my actions. Fortunately, we have the ability to laugh at ourselves.
When I was around five years old, I developed a rash in the region surrounding my groin area. It looked very much like a diaper rash, but I assure you that I was wearing big-boy pants for a long time by then.
To care for the problem area, each day I had to apply some kind of ointment. It might have been Desitin, but it’s not important for the story. Anyway, the ointment caused the area to dry, which caused a chain reaction of chafing and peeling. I had to go to the doctor, yada yada yada, got scraped, yada yada yada, given new medication.
On the following day, I was in the bathroom with every intention of applying the medication. However, (this is where the moment of not thinking comes in) I decided rather than treating the area with the medication prescribed by the doctor, I would instead use the ChapStick which belonged to my oldest brother. I don’t know why I did what I did, nor do I have any recollection of giving the action much thought prior to doing it. It just seemed like the thing to do at the time, so I did it.
Fortunately, ChapStick used in such a way will not cause serious medical problems. However, the concerns for health increase substantially when oldest brother walks into the bathroom at the same time his ChapStick is being used. I was punched repeatedly, and then informed that Dad would be notified immediatly of my infraction.
Dad was cool about it all. He told me to leave other people’s things alone, and that was the end of it. Oldest brother then walked off in a huff, hoping instead that my butt would have met a firmer form of justice. I looked at Dad and shrugged, not having anything to say for myself. “Just beautiful,” he said with a shake of his head and with a look that only father’s can give. “I’ve got one son with chapped lips and another with chapped dick.”