what is happening?
no one knows me. i am alone although constantly surrounded by people. its vent time…
i am the oldest of 6 kids and only 23. the youngest is 13. i am in Iraq right now and have been here for 10 months. in a few more months with our fingers crossed we get to come home. this is not a sob story to get people to feel bad for me or anything like that. writing helps me because its very hard for me to talk to people about my problems. everyone has their own things to deal with and i dont want other people to think about mine when they have their own to worry about. ya know? and plus no one will probably read this so yeah..
anyway, i talked to my mom the other day. a year can pass by so quickly and nothing can change. then all of a sudden you get hit multiple times. being the oldest without my dad, i feel like i have always had to look out for my brothers and sisters. always being the glue to hold everyone. times change, people change. so im talking with my mom and she tells me that someone in my family is getting married. yeah, thats right. married. someone YOUGNER that me in my family is getting married. what the fuck is going on? it wasnt someone i was expecting to being with. its one of my sisters. and not the one with the kid already. my sister who hasnt even graduated high school is getting marreid BEFORE i come home! im going mento ova here! some guy who i dont know, havent met, havent spoken to and have SEEN once is gonna marry my sister. am i alone here? there are so many other factors that i cant even think of right now. oh man.
on top of that, my mom tells me, dont worry, you can make it to my wedding.. WTF!!! slapped in the face twice. i cant believe this. dont tell me my mom is thinking marriage also. oh lord help me. alright. fine. i go to sleep that night and hopefully ill feel better about things in the morning. i did and a little. i call my brother who is a year younger than me to let him know. we have always been close in a way i guess. so im the first to know (besides my mom) about my sister and this crazy marriage. my brother seems so non-chalant about it all…”stupid kids.” so anyway i fill him on everything i know. and then HE drops a bomb on me. oh yeah, no on knows im moving to the mainland he says oh so casually. GAH! i wanna choke someone. when? thinking about right BEFORE i get back. i cant believe this. i leave and my family starts going absolutly MENTAL! a few more months and ill be back and deal with all of this. (and i didnt even mention my other sister thats going to give me a nephew) mento i tell you. abso-fricken-lutely mento. all i know is that when i do get home after this year long tour in the desert, my entire family better be there or i will be extreamly hurt. i dont even know what to do if they arnt there. soemone please tell me what is happening?