Leimamo’s Life

Today is my grandma’s birthday. She would’ve been 90 years old today. She passed away less than a month after I moved to Japan and I wasn’t able to attend her funeral. A year later, I flew home and visited her gravesite. I don’t think I’ve gotten complete closure because I haven’t had a chance to spend a few moments with her alone, to just talk as though she were still here. I suppose it was best at the time to have my brother and kids accompany me. We met my aunt and her sons and spent about an hour just sitting and reminiscing about life with Grandma.

I’m fortunate that she was alive to see my two oldest grand daughters and my oldest grandson. At the time, we were five living generations. That’s not very common and I was pleased that she got a chance to spend some time with my mo’opuna. By the time they were born, she was already suffering from mild alzheimers and cancer. She spent a few weeks at my house and she’d let Kamalani play with her wheelchair, then she’d ask whose baby that was a minute later. I’d chuckle and remind her that it was Kamalani, then she’d laugh and shake her head, saying, “Oh, that’s right. I forgot.”

Now that I have my own grandchildren, I strive to be half as good a grandmother to them as she has been to me. I love her dearly and miss her so much. I miss the way she’d crinkle her nose whenever I sang. I miss sitting with her on her porch listening to KCCN (the old songs), I miss sitting with her in her kitchen eating raw opelu with saucer of hawaiian salt and red chili pepper and poi. I miss her voice, her scent, her unconditional grandmotherly love. I know if she were here she’d say, “don’t cry, it’s okay” and I’d reply, “but I miss you so much.”

My grandma is the one with the lei po’o, the other woman (in pink) is her younger sister whom she survived a few years before she passed on. This is the way I want to remember her, when she was still very healthy and still a party-girl. Happy Birthday Grams!!!