Leimamo’s Life

I’ve had several entries about the increasing drug problems in Hawaii. There is a reason for that, a reason that is very personal for me. I’ve struggled mentally for a long time about whether to write about this or not. I’ve decided to share it.

Those of you who know me personally already know about my Prodigal Son. He is currently doing time in a Federal Prison on drug related charges. I’m not ashamed of him, although I am disappointed in his choices. It’s hard for me to talk about him because I haven’t seen him for the past 3 years but I write to him and encourage him as much as possible. In his letters, he seems optimistic about his future. He wrote to tell me that he’ll soon be entering an extensive drug rehab program and he’s looking forward to getting on with his life. Call it mother’s intuition but I can sense a feeling of anxiety in his words. When he calls me, I’m suddenly taken back to years ago, before his experimenation and abuse of drugs. I’m reminded of the good times when I hear his voice. He sent his picture and I’ve compared it to the days when he was using drugs, I told him that he looks so much healthier now that he’s incarcerated. He wanted to see the pictures of when he was on drugs to make a comparison for himself so I sent him the few pictures I had of him. The day he received it, he called me to ask me to burn the pictures. He admitted that he looked sick, his words were, “I look like an alien, burn it mom and don’t show anyone those pictures.” I told him he should keep the ones he has to remind him of what he doesn’t want to do to himself again.

He’s in a prison in Oregon, about 9 hours from where we bought a house. I wanted so badly to visit him when we went househunting but due to time constraints, we weren’t able to make the trip. He called when we returned and his voice was sad, as was mine. I told him we’d make it out there soon and I’m just as anxious to see him as he is to see us. He wrote again to say how much he misses us and how lonely he is even though there are other Hawaiians there to keep him company. He also requested a favor. You know, children never run out of favors to ask of their parents. Anyway, I think he was sort of embarrassed to ask me but he knows that he has to get past the embarrassment if he wants me to help him out. He asked if I’d go online and find him some penpals.

Penpals? What do I know about getting penpals? I googled my butt off in search of penpals for him. Meg laughed while I did my search. I found a few sites where you place an ad for an imate but there is a charge for the ad. Another place I found was free so I placed one there for him. I’m not so sure I like the idea of placing ads for my son. Really, I don’t know what type of person will respond to it. I understand my son is in prison and people would also wonder what type of person he is but demmit, he’s my boy and I’m concerned for him. I printed out some ad applications from Christian sites and enclosed them with a letter I sent him. I also told him to keep an open mind about the Christian sites. Who knows, it might be what he’s looking for in his life.

I spoke to a friend of mine about my search for penpals and while we were online, she received a phone call from her god daughter so she asked her god daughter if she’d mind writing to my son. She said sure she’d do that. My son has never met this friend of mine nor her god daughter so I told her to tell her god daughter to remind my son that she knows his mommy to keep him in line.

I had a passing thought to start a PenPals for Incarcerated Islanders so there can be some show of support for all the local boys who are away from home and lack visits from ohana. That would be a huge project and right now I don’t have the time to invest in it. But if anyone is interested in dropping well wishes or birthday cards to some of these boys from back home, write me an email and I’ll see about getting names of some of the boys from back home. I suddenly feel like a team mom all over again.

I feel 2 lbs lighter.