to self
dear self,
you need to get over yourself. you for once think that maybe, just maybe, you’re doing somewhat good and perhaps are making a difference in the children … and boom. you get hit with another letter, criticizing you for giving something to the kids that is not “grade-level appropriate.” *sigh*
i was so inspired and eager to work with the kids and now it’s all dashed again and out the window.
why do you keep this up? what is holding you back?
fear, i guess. but is the stress worth it? is this constant feeling that you are not doing good no matter how hard you work worth it? maybe i should leave it to the people who really do enjoy it. just the other day the principal was saying that there are many people out there (on the mainland) that are just *dying* to come teach here. well, they should. i should give up my spot and let someone take it. why stay in this job when it’s all heartache and disappointment?
because you like to punish yourself, i guess. WELL QUIT IT!!!
na’u