Lika’s Log

Kimo did like he always does, kissing his wife, crawling into
bed and falling to sleep. All of a sudden, he wakes up with
an elderly man dressed in a white robe standing in front of
his bed.

“What da hell are you doing in my bedroom?…and who
you?” he asked.

“This is not your bedroom,” the man replied, “I am St. Peter,
and you are in heaven.”

“WOT! Are you saying I stay makidiedead? I don’t want to die! I’m too
young,” said Kimo. “I want you to send me back immediately.”

“It’s not that easy”, said St.Peter. “You can only return as
a dog or a hen. The choice is your own.”

Kimo thought about it for a while, and figured out that being
a dog is too tiring, but a hen probably has a nice and
relaxed life. Running around with a rooster can’t be that bad.

“I want to return as a hen,” Kimo replied.
And in the next second, he found himself in a chicken run,
really nicely feathered. But now he felt like his rear end
was gonna blow. Then along came the rooster.

“Hey, you must be the new hen St. Peter told me about,” he
said. “How do you like being a hen?”
“Well, OK I guess, but it feels like my ass is about to
explode.”
“Oh dat!” said the rooster. “That’s only the ovulation going
on. You need to lay an egg.”

“How do I do that?” Kimo asked.

“Cluck twice, and then you push all you can.”
Kimo clucked twice and pushed more than he was good for, and
then ‘plop’ an egg was on the ground.

“Wow” Kimo said. “That feels really good!” So he clucked again
and squeezed. And you better believe that there was yet
another egg on the ground. The third time he clucked, anden he
heard his wife shout:

“KIMO, GUNNFUNNIT! Wake up! You stay shittin’ all ova
da bed!”

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 17th, 2005 at 12:20 pm and is filed under Local Jokes. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.