Lika’s Log

> This is from one of George Carlin’s monologues.
>
> The most functional word in English!!!!!!

> Well, it’s shit … that’s right, shit!
> Shit may just be the most functional word in the English
> language.
>
> Consider:
> You can get shit-faced, Be shit-out-of-luck, Or have shit for
> brains.
>
> With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a
> place for
> your shit, or be asked to shit or get off the pot.
>
> You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find
> shit, forget shit,
> and tell others to eat shit.
>
> Some people know their shit, while others can’t tell the
> difference
> between shit and shineola.
>
> There are lucky shits, dumb shits, and crazy shits. There is
> bull shit,
> horse shit, and chicken shit.
>
> You can throw shit, sling shit, catch shit, shoot the shit,
> or duck when the shit hits the fan.
>
> You can give a shit or serve shit on a shingle.
>
> You can find yourself in deep shit or be happier than a pig in
> shit.
>
> Some days are colder than shit, some days are hotter than
> shit,
> and some days are just plain shitty.
>
> Some music sounds like shit, things can look like shit, and
> there are
> times when you feel like shit.
>
> You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit,
> the wrong
> shit or a lot of weird shit.
>
> You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit, or find yourself
> up shit
> creek without a paddle.
>
> Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit and other times
> you fall
> in a bucket of shit and come out smelling like a rose.
>
>
> When you stop to consider all the facts, it’s the basic
> building block
> of the English language.
>
> And remember, once you know your shit, you don’t need to know
> anything
> else!!
>
> You could pass this along, if you give a shit; or not do so if
> you
> don’t give a shit!
>
>
> Well, Shit, it’s time for me to go. Just wanted you to know
> that I do
> give a shit and hope you had a nice day, without a bunch of
> shit. But,
> if you happened to catch a load of shit from some
> shit-head……….
> Well, Shit Happens!!!

This entry was posted on Sunday, May 22nd, 2005 at 5:38 pm and is filed under Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.