I was debating if I should post dis or not. I guess you know da answa now. Plus I gotta go some place and I don’t like to write wen I’m rushed, so figgah I just share this with all’a'ya’all. Enjoy.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT, THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A MAN!
This is for all you girls 50 years and over…. and for those who are turning 50, and for those who are scared of moving into their 50’s…AND for guys who are scared of girls over 50!!!!
This was written by Andy Rooney from CBS 60 Minutes.
As I grow in age, I value women who are over 50 most of all. Here are just a few reasons why:
A woman over 50 will never wake you in the middle of the night to ask, “What are you thinking?” She doesn’t care what you think.
If a woman over 50 doesn’t want to watch the game, she doesn’t sit around whining about it. She does something she wants to do. And, it’s usually something more interesting.
A woman over 50 knows herself well enough to be assured in who she is, what she is, what she wants and from whom. Few women past the age of 50 give a damn what you might think about her or what she’s doing.
Women over 50 are dignified. They seldom have a screaming match with you at the opera or in the middle of an expensive restaurant. Of course, if you deserve it, they won’t hesitate to shoot you, if they think they can get away with it.
Older women are generous with praise, often undeserved. They know what it’s like to be unappreciated.
A woman over 50 has the self-assurance to introduce you to her women friends. A younger woman with a man will often ignore even her bestfriend because she doesn’t trust the guy with other women. Women over 50 couldn’t care less if you’re attracted to her friends because she knows her friends won’t betray her.
Women get psychic as they age. You never have to confess your sins to a woman over 50. They always know.
A woman over 50 looks good wearing bright red lipstick. This is not true of younger women.
Once you get past a wrinkle or two, a woman over 50 is far sexier than her younger counterpart.
Older women are forthright and honest They’ll tell you right off if you are a jerk if you are acting like one! You don’t ever have to wonder where you stand with her.
Yes, we praise women over 50 for a multitude of reasons. Unfortunately, it’s not reciprocal. For every stunning, smart, well-endowed hot woman of 50+, there is a bald, paunchy relic in yellow pants making a fool of himself with some 22-year-old waitress.
Ladies, I apologize. For all those men who say, “Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free”. Here’s an update for you. Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage, why?
Because women realize it’s not worth buying an entire pig, just to get a little sausage.
Entries (RSS)
August 24th, 2005 at 7:46 am
A classic, but for what it’s worth, it’s not Rooney:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/soapbox/rooney2.asp
August 24th, 2005 at 10:50 am
Hi,
> I checked this to see if Andy Rooney really wrote it… and he
> didn’t… but what
> I found was this interesting piece by Benjamin Franklin… see below:
>
> Origins: Andy Rooney, Andy Rooney
> the curmudgeonly commentator who closes every Sunday broadcast of
> television’s 60 Minutes news magazine with a (typically sardonic)
> essay about some aspect of everyday life, is — thanks to the Internet
> — as well-known for what he hasn’t said as he is for what he really
> has said. The piece quoted above, an essay “In Praise of Older Women,”
> is another portion of his “hasn’t said” fame.
>
> This item was not penned by Andy Rooney; it is an embellished version
> of a piece created by Frank Kaiser, a columnist whose Suddenly Senior
> articles are published on his web site and syndicated to a variety of
> newspapers across the U.S.
>
> Baltimore Sun writer Susan Reimer contacted Andy Rooney, who told her:
> “It just bugs me that anybody would put my name on something I didn’t
> write,” said Rooney from his New York office. He’s been the object of
> this kind of hoax before, and another, he said, had just crossed his
> desk.
>
> I asked him if he shared the author’s affection for older women, and
> he said, “Not particularly.”
> The true author, Frank Kaiser, had this to say about the
> misattribution:
> I actually wrote it in 2000 but about a year ago [i.e., in 2002], I
> started seeing it come back to me in e-mails attributed to Andy
> Rooney. It didn’t bother me too much. That’s sort of the nature of the
> Internet. I wrote him and made a joke about it and he called me. You
> know, he’s just as cantankerous on the phone as he is on the air.
> Of course, a celebrated encomium about older women was penned by a
> famous American statesman over 250 years earlier, when Benjamin
> Franklin wrote the piece known to us as “Old Mistresses’ Apologue”:
> June 25. 1745
>
> My dear Friend,
>
> I know of no Medicine fit to diminish the violent natural Inclinations
> you mention; and if I did, I think I should not communicate it to you.
> Marriage is the proper Remedy. It is the most natural State of Man,
> and therefore the State in which you are most likely to find solid
> Happiness. Your Reasons against entring into it at present, appear to
> me not well-founded. The circumstantial Advantages you have in View by
> postponing it, are not only uncertain, but they are small in
> comparison with that of the Thing itself, the being married and
> settled. It is the Man and Woman united that make the compleat human
> Being. Separate, she wants his Force of Body and Strength of Reason;
> he, her Softness, Sensibility and acute Discernment. Together they are
> more likely to succeed in the World. A single Man has not nearly the
> Value he would have in that State of Union. He is an incomplete
> Animal. He resembles the odd Half of a Pair of Scissars. If you get a
> prudent healthy Wife, your Industry in your Profession, with her good
> Economy, will be a Fortune sufficient.
>
> But if you will not take this Counsel, and persist in thinking a
> Commerce with the Sex inevitable, then I repeat my former Advice, that
> in all your Amours you should prefer old Women to young ones. You call
> this a Paradox, and demand my Reasons. They are these:
>
> 1. Because as they have more Knowledge of the World and their Minds
> are better stor’d with Observations, their Conversation is more
> improving and more lastingly agreable.
>
> 2. Because when Women cease to be handsome, they study to be good. To
> maintain their Influence over Men, they supply the Diminution of
> Beauty by an Augmentation of Utility. They learn to do a 1000 Services
> small and great, and are the most tender and useful of all Friends
> when you are sick. Thus they continue amiable. And hence there is
> hardly such a thing to be found as an old Woman who is not a good
> Woman.
>
> 3. Because there is no hazard of Children, which irregularly produc’d
> may be attended with much Inconvenience.
>
> 4. Because thro’ more Experience, they are more prudent and discreet
> in conducting an Intrigue to prevent Suspicion. The Commerce with them
> is therefore safer with regard to your Reputation. And with regard to
> theirs, if the Affair should happen to be known, considerate People
> might be rather inclin’d to excuse an old Woman who would kindly take
> care of a young Man, form his Manners by her good Counsels, and
> prevent his ruining his Health and Fortune among mercenary
> Prostitutes.
>
> 5. Because in every Animal that walks upright, the Deficiency of the
> Fluids that fill the Muscles appears first in the highest Part: The
> Face first grows lank and wrinkled; then the Neck; then the Breast and
> Arms; the lower Parts continuing to the last as plump as ever: So that
> covering all above with a Basket, and regarding only what is below the
> Girdle, it is impossible of two Women to know an old from a young one.
> And as in the dark all Cats are grey, the Pleasure of corporal
> Enjoyment with an old Woman is at least equal, and frequently
> superior, every Knack being by Practice capable of Improvement.
>
> 6. Because the Sin is less. The debauching a Virgin may be her Ruin,
> and make her for Life unhappy.
>
> 7. Because the Compunction is less. The having made a young Girl
> miserable may give you frequent bitter Reflections; none of which can
> attend the making an old Woman happy.
>
> 8thly and Lastly They are so grateful!!
>
> Thus much for my Paradox. But still I advise you to marry directly;
> being sincerely Your affectionate Friend.
> Last updated: 24 September 2003
August 25th, 2005 at 8:57 pm
Whether or not he wrote it, the last line is da weiner!