Lika’s Log

Da first time dat I ever got my period I bled for 14 days. Two weeks of shoving a mini-mattress between my legs in my panty when I was 12 years old. I was traumatized for life!

In high school I use to have painful cramps. Like on day 2, dat almighty flood day. It would be for only one day but it was like a day of hopelessness, I felt so sick I was useless. Two asperins and sleep was always da cure. Sometimes I would run a high fever, once I fainted but most times it was just major cramps. After I gave birth I guess my body figured out having your rags is not pain, labor pains is pain and I never had bad cramps again. Just normal I can function kind of cramps.

I use to think I had one crooked belot or someting. Cause sitting in class with dis long wod of cotton between my legs was not comfortable. My belot stay one way and dat freeking pad stay going da ada way. So gotta ami right anden ami left. OR da ting stay crawling up my okole, gotta ack like I digging my ass. OR da ting stay crawling up my crotch gotta pushem’ down look like I stay scratching my belot. If you sitting in da front of da class or people stay sitting behind you as all hud fo’do and be discreet. But you sit in da back of da class, well hell just stand up and ack like one cowboy. Squat down, up and adjust! *L*

Once upon one time use to have da pink box and da blue box. Now its moe worst den choosing cereal. Get da regular, name brand or store brand, mini, maxi, long, night time kine (bleeding night time is different from daytime, bleeding is bleeding), lined, unlined, scented, unscented and in da new millinium it has sprouted wings! Which reminds me of dis story:

Son & I was doing our regular WalMarting. He was unloading da stuff in da cart onto da converyor belt. He picked up da package of Always with Wings. He looked at me and said in his manly voice, “SO Mom, do these work?” I answered him in my momly voice, “Yes, it improves my vertical, when I jump da wings flutter!” Da cashier bussass laughing. My son was holding his laugh (knowing da reason I embarass dat child is payback for all da times I had to go to da Principals office ladat), he smiled and looked at da cashier and said “ONLY my mom.” Den he was cracking up too.

Why were pads called “Sanitary Napkins”? Was it cause da word ‘mattress’ was all ready taken. If its a kind of napkin, how come you can’t find it by all da other napkins and papertowels. When I think of napkins I think of something you put on your lap or wipe your mouth and hands with NOT shove between your legs. And Sanitary, I ain’t even going there!

You know how there’s those Ink Blot Test. Its a pyschological test for something or other right. I use to wonder if there was like a Bleeding Belot Blot Test, cause you know get da kine psychedelic kine patterns yeah?

Gross warp sense of humor. Must be that trauma I went thru when I was 12 years old. *L*

This entry was posted on Monday, August 29th, 2005 at 6:07 am and is filed under Belot Soap Operas. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.