As a Mom I knew there would come a time when I would have to talk to da kids of sex and reproductive stuff. I knew dat as a Mom I wanted to tell dem da truth and give dem da information dey needed. My Mom never told me jackcrap about sex or having your period. If I didn’t have 2 olda sistas I would truely be moe traumatized den traumatized.
Da one ting I rememeba my Mom telling me was: Some girls sit like dis (she shows me 2 fingahs togedda), some girls sit like dis (2 fingahs crossed right ova left), and some girls sit la dis (2 fingahs crossed left ova right) but girls who sit la dis (two fingahs open like one peace sign) get DIS (da middle fingah, trowing da bird?), like Dis (snaps her fingers)!
Me I kinda slow hah, I was tinking so if I no sit straight somebody going trow me da fingah. SO? Wots da big deal, juss trow da fingah back. At da time I had no idea dat it was about sex per se. Moe worst me famous fo’sitting ‘bee-lung-cud’ (knees spread apart) style, like a guy. Peoples going trow da fingah at me alot yeah. *L*
Dat was da extent dat I remember of a sex education talk from my mom. I grew up where you didn’t question anything, you get lickings for asking stuff. My Aunty told me she got dirty licking & had to kneel in da corner after she asked her mom (my maternal Grandma): How come her sista & bruddahs get different last names? My Grandma bless her heart was like one of da orignal playas hah, 4 husbands 3 sets of kids. But dat was my Mom’s generation and I wanted my kids to know facts.
For me one of da ultimate test of Momhood is when my daughter asked: Mom, what does it mean “to have your Period?” Aysos, I had to put on my academy award acting face fo’not ack like I was all shocked. I had to instantly pull myself togedda and educate my girls.
My daughters were 9 & 7 years old and one day da 9 y.o. asked me: Mom, what does it mean “to have your Period?” Da 7 y.o. was big eye long neck waiting for da answer. I told da 7 y.o. I want you to listen to dis, its not going to make sense, its gonna be gross and its gonna sound funny but trust me, this going to happen to you too. She’s like ok.
So I commenced to tell da girls about as dey mature and get olda there’s a special place in their body blah blah blah, and that once a month they will have a blood flow. Thats what that “Period” is, one week usually when they going have bleeding. By dis time there eyes are big as saucers, their mouths are wide open and thier eyebrows are raised in cluelessness.
I tell da 9 y.o to get da box of pads and tampons in da battroom. She goes and get it, den I have to do show & tell kine. I told her to take out a pad and she pulls one out wit only two fingahs of course. I tell da girls ok, wen you notice bleeding you have to put this on. The both looking at me like, “wot, are you crazy.” I tell da 9 y.o. “between your legs!” They both are shocked looking between their legs. Da 9 y.o swings it between her legs. We all are cracking up laughing big time. Den I say: “You have to put it in your panty.” All three of us are laughing so hard. I tellem’ “It’s like, like….. like A BIG FAT BAND AID.” All three of us were literally rolling on da floor, hooo I had side pain. Till dis day I can say “Big Fat Band Aid” and me & da girls crack up.
Anden I asked #1 “Do you know wot dese are?” (I was holding up da box of Tampons. For my Tampon 101 story go to www.alohaworld.com checkout da Hannahbuttah stories) #1 says “oh yeah I know what those are I looked at da pictures on da instruction sheet.” I’m like, what do you do with these? She says “You shove it up your ass!” Hoooo I wanted to shishi my pants I was laughing so hud. I’m like “no, you do not shove dese tings up your ass; moe in da front.” “Umm, you shove it up where you shishi?” I’m like “no, there’s another whole.” Both da girls was like “There is?”
Da 7 y.o. po’ting was nuts with information ovaload plus we were laughing so much. She says “I’m gonna be 7 forever!” Little did she know she would start her period when she was 10 y.o. Both my daughters got their period the same year, 6 months apart.
Later I went to the Library and borrowed a bunch of books for kids. So da girls could read and look at pictures about puberty and all dat. My girls were good readers so at least I knew they were getting “correct terminology” and facts la dat. I toldem’ if you have any questions ask me.
When #1 was in 8th grade I think I had to sign a permission form for a sex education class she was having. I am all for sex education in school because I feel they would get all da facts, biology, physiology and correct terminology la dat. So Daughta had her class. When she came home I asked her, “What did you learn?”
She told me: “The sperm enters the vaginal canal and swims up into the uterus. The egg is released from the ovaries and swims into da fallopian tubes and down to the uterus. If the sperm fertilizes the egg, it is implanted into the uterin wall and thats the beginning of being pregnant.”
I asked her: “How did da sperm get into da vaginal canal?” She’s like: “Oh I dunno Mom, they didn’t cover dat part?”
“Dang it! Dats da part I wanted dem to cover!”
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August 30th, 2005 at 9:39 am
Wow! Tita Lika! I can’t even remember if I told my own girls about this subject!
Lynn
By the way…DA BITCH IS GONE!
August 31st, 2005 at 10:41 pm
Your girls too cute.
When I found out my sons were sexually active, I made them carry condoms in their wallets. Then I would check their wallets and the condoms were still there. I sat them down and explained that the condoms cannot work when it’s inside the wallet. They s’pose to take em out and use em. Sheesh, have to draw pikcha for those guys sometimes.
September 1st, 2005 at 8:12 am
“When I found out my sons were sexually active, I made them carry condoms in their wallets. Then I would check their wallets and the condoms were still there.”
Eh Leimano, how you know dose was da same condoms? Maybe da ones you gave dem was gone several condoms ago? Hehehehe.