Lika’s Log

Little did I know that writing yesterdays entry would lead me to an education of da vaginal region. It led to information, other web sites, consurmer reports and pictures! I saw pic-chas and I don’t have STAH-eye dis morning. I learned; I think I know, but I neva know dat get plenny I don’t know and I still stay learning. Today I am less clueless den yestaday. Dats a good ting right? *L* So now I smut (smart), wot? Not.

Case in point: ClitPump! I’m serious. I undastood clit = clitoris, ok I know wea dat stay; definitely in da belot region. I did pass dat female reproductive anatomy exam. K~Pump; as in pump it up, pump? Wot? Huh? Pump pump da kine pump I’m thinking of pump?

Yes, da kine pump I was tinking of. Only smaller. Cause da one I had in mind was Austin Powers make your cock bigger dillywacker thing of a jiggy. I guess “pump” is the correct terminology. I don’t know what else to call it. Oh, oh, oh I know ~ “Enhancer”. Woteva.

I had not even heard of one and I went to a website where there was a comparison; price wise & use wise, of three different types! Whoa information ovaload. It cost how much? It compared one dat you need a prescription from a doctor and dat was $400. Doc, why no juss tellem’ use dey fingahs? I’m sorry, I digress….. There was an $80 one and da one everyday household item you prolly have some where in da junk drawer.

From an FAQ on I forget which website:

Using a modified syringe, because they are cheap; you simply take the plunger out, cut the needle end off, and insert the plunger back into the cylinder from the needle end; opposite end from which you took it out. You then place the end where the finger tabs are located, and is nice and smooth, around your clitoris.

Don’t ask me to explain anymoe. I just learned about dis stuff. Still virgin-ee in this ‘pump’ business. Talk about learning something new every day. I am not a good person to explain dis stuff cause it comes out all hammajang sounding.

I was reading and looking at pictures, I was like…………how would I explain this. Obviously I can’t with out laughing and making funny face. Too hilarious on my part.

You guys seen on TV this dog food commercial that has a new zip lock bag. You see da dogs head tilt left, right, left, right each time he hears da dog food bag zip & unzip. Dat is how I was looking at da computer screen yestaday learning all this new found clit information. You know how Scooby Doo sound? Dat was how I sounded, clueless. “Huh? Uhhhduhhhnooo?”

You know how dey say a picture speaks a thousand words. Picturing me speaks ukupila, ukuplenny, choke laughs.

So I’m looking at these pictures right. Da head stay tilting left, right, left, right. Den I start reading da instructions. I start looking down between my legs. Den I gotta lean moe forward try see if my eyes can curl looking moe into da belot area. Den da hands gotta help pull back da momona opu. Oh yeah, dat going help your eyes….den one hand gotta help pull up some moe momona-ness stretching da area up, in hopes of helping da eyes curl down and around. No can da kine!

I stay reading reading, moe looking looking some pic-chas. Duh? Mirror! You gotta do dis infront one mirror so you can see insai deya. Oooohhhhhh. Told you guys I was slow. K~by dis time I get side pain cracking up by my lonesome, tired “playing” wit myself awreddy. LOL

So I’m looking at da mirror. Looking at me. No I’m not even gonna go there. Did I eva mention I kinda kapakahi? So say I do have this syringe dilly and say I stay looking in da mirror; left is right and right is left ~ ai, I tink I would hurt myself cause eda way its hit or miss. I prolly bruise myself up to death. You gotta make da ting suck yo’dakine! I was tinking, no can juss use da vaccuum cleana? Lazy yeah me. *L* Dats kinda dangerous hah doe, vaccuum yo’belot; well at least not going be dusty. Bumbye da ting going suck out yo’uterus out, hala! LOL Nasty!

I kinda juss like da old fashion way. WEA HE STAY? *L*

For more info and correct terminology try try: www.libida.com
Dey get one stowah too. Hala!

This entry was posted on Monday, September 12th, 2005 at 8:07 am and is filed under Belot Soap Operas. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.