Like many people in this real world and cyberworld I am really grateful for email. Its brought many joys of connections and reconnections. I have found people and people have found me. What else can you ask for?
A lot actually. Weather we ask for it or not we all eventually will get something in our email that will inform us how blessed we are, how in dangered we are, how more cautious we need to be and how you too will get money from Bill Gates. Bless his rich little heart, he is going to give me money. Exactly when is that going to happen, I am anxiously waiting for it in my snail mail.
Granted there are a lot of blessed pieces coming into my email and I genuinely am grateful for the reminders of how blessed I am. I’m a bratty space case when it comes to remembering there are people in this world worst off then I am. These email of blessedness and prayers kick my ass out of my own pity parties. So thats a good thing.
If we are conneceted to the interenet and duh obviously we all here are or you would not be reading and I would not be writing in here; BUT as connected people we are also bombarded by information overload. Some people like me, just take it as for true and pass crap on. Untill one of trusted email friends will email me back and tell me according to www.snopes.com, I am forwarding kaka. Sorry for all da kaka I’ve been spreading. No pass backs.
I’ve oftened wondered why a Al “Kaida” operative would deliver me a UPS or FedEx package. Wotsupwitdat, are they monitoring my Ebay purchases? I’ve oftened wondered about getting a free giftcard. Ohyes you too can have a gazillion dollar gift card if you jump thru all the hoops we put in front of you and you MUST say YES to at least one thing that you will pay for, for the rest of your life; but its FREE.
Granted thou you know there are a lot of legitament things/information going out also. You know like all the things you can do with BOUNCE, etc. That wasn’t kaka. Also some of us frequent message boards and learn even more things, so we can pass it on…….
I guess what I’m trying to say is MAHALO for the good, the bad, the ugly, the sweet, the stupid, the truth, the lies, the BS and yeah for da kaka too. What comes around goes around.
From this mornings pile of Email:
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Thanks to All of You…
I want to thank you who have taken the time and trouble to send me your chain letters over the past 12 months.
I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes cause I now have to get a wet towel with every envelope that needs sealing.
Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.
Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed, and wealthy.
Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer drink Pepsi or Dr Pepper since the people who make these products are atheists who refuse to put “Under God” on their cans.
I no longer use Saran wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.
I no longer check the coin return on pay phones because I could be pricked with a needle infected with AIDS.
I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like awater buffalo on a hot day.
I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with aperfume sample and rob me.
I no longer receive packages from UPS or FedEx since they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.
I no longer shop at Target since they are French and don’t support our American troops or the Salvation Army.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore, and Uzbekistan.
I no longer eat KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.
I no longer have any sneakers — but that will change once I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.
I no longer buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out for me and St. Theresa’s novena has granted my every wish.
Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387,258th time).
I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program.
Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor!
If you don’t send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 PM(EDT) this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor’s ex-mother-in-law’s second husband’s cousin’s beautician’s cousin brother.
Have a wonderful day.
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Mahalo for all my emails peoples. The comments are great too. *L* I’ll email alla’y'all with my mailing address and you can send me money and/or care packages, ooooo moe stuff.
“Ain’t too proud to beg ~ SWEET Da’lin ~ now I know a cryin’ man (woman) is half a man, with noooooo, sense of pride. But if I have to plead and beg for your sympathy I don’t mind cause you mean dat much to me……..ain’t too proud to beeeegggg” *L*
I must be in a singing mood.
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September 20th, 2005 at 5:43 pm
tHANK YOU FOR YOUR EMAILS TOO!
LYNN