Did you hear, read, see the story about dis one lady suing Victoria Secret BECAUSE, da thong she bought from them hit her in the eye?
I ain’t making this up. My imagaination is not DAT off da wall. Its just off, but not in dat direction.
The story goes, this lady bought a thong from Victoria Secret. Said thong had this little heart ornament dilly, you know like a heart holding the dental floss aka elastic togedda. Ok so, the claim is she got injured by dat ting. Da bugga wen fly in her eye and went scratch her cornea. Da docta said there are three scratches on her cornea.
OK now, how does one THONG tatong tong go flying into ones eye? Like one sling shot yeah. And how does a sling shot work? You have to PULL the elastic. Anden TWING!
SO you gotta use your imagination hea….. Girlfren stay TRYING to put on her Tatong thong, her stay stretching’um…….stretching’um sommmmmoe…..and moe and TOING right in da eye! How da hell? I must watch WAY TOO much CSI. But what dey gotta do is calculate da amount of TORQUE it took fo’dat flying panty to scratch her eyeball. As pretty vicious, her said had 3 lacerations on her eyeball. And why did she HAVE TO pull the thong la dat…. hhmmmmm.
I saw this on one of those msn videos I think. The Defendent & her lawyer was being interviewed by Meridith Vierra. I swear dat Lawyer wanted to laugh. He was being too freaking serious. How you going be serious and you talking about one flying panty. Puh-lese. Bugga prolly wen FUT cause he was holding his laugh. But I digress…..
Ok so where was I….FLYING THONG! Oh yeah. So this thong injured da wahine and she is sueing Victoria Secret. K. In order for dat THONG to go flying into her eye and scratch’um up it had to get stretched to da max. Ya’think? Why would one have to do dat? CAUSE da ting so tiny and da ASS SO BIG had to get around it BUT neva reach cause wen juss fly in da eye! Lucky she neva kill somebody. I can see the headlines now…. MAN DIES FROM FLYING THONG: Girlfriend in custody.
To me dis is not one product liabilty. It’s OE! Operator error. Hello? This was not one small wahine. BUT it was one kinda small thong as thongs are. Its rubba bands connected to one napkin yeah. Small skinny narrow kine napkin.
My question is: Why would you admit to something like this on TV or court? Because you want to be known as the person who got her eyeball scratched by a flying Victoria Secret thong? Why would a lawyer even take this case. Because he wants to be known as the lawyer who sued Victoria Secret?
People are dying and getting injured in wars, people are economically struggling and “these people” go on TV and talk about how one flying panty wen scratch dey eyeballs and so they want a couple of million dollar cause they could not properly cover dey big ass with dental floss!
YA’KNOW if the thong I was putting on had to be stretched so far as to be able to injury me….. I would take dat as one sign…..”get your ass to da gym girlfriend.” And I wouldn’t tell anybody I was trying to force my ass into a thong, much less go on TV and tell only a gazillion people. No doubt more because it will forever be on youtube.com now huh?
Do you know whats gonna happen now….. because of this one law suit……. Victoria Secret is gonna have to put disclaimers on their thongs. What would it say? “Do not stretch this over your big ass, buy a bigger size.” How rude is that.
Ok how about: “Not responsible for injuries cause by your lack of poor judgement” Is dat moe tackful ya’think?
Victoria Secret is not a cheap place and they have some nice stuff. I have some “cute” Victoria Secret drawers. LOL With all this lawsuit and peronal injury stuff, you know whats gonna happen don’t you? It is gonna raise the price of panties! First the housing market, gas prices, the corn crop, and now higher priced THONGS! Its frkn survival of the fittest, no doubt half of the population is gonna go COMMANDO. *L*
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