Lika’s Log

I learned a new word yesterday. Its true huh, you learn something new everyday. If you don’t learn something new everyday, it means you ain’t paying attention. Ya’think?

So the word yesterday was labiaplasty. Well today, it is: phalloplasty. Plasty = plastic surguring (? lol) or recon as in reconstruction. Phallo, as in phallic as in: of, relating to, or resembling a penis.

So did you know that: “Phalloplasty surgery encompasses penis lengthening surgery, penis widening surgery in the flaccid and erect state and glanular enhancement.”

I did not know that till yesterday, thanks to a posting on the Threads. Remember I was asking about how come guys don’t get enhanced? Well they do too get get it souped up, sometimes. Who knew? I looked at one of the websites that had all these before and after shots. Owww-weee. OMGawd it looked so very painful. I was wondering what about when you gotta go shishi, you know? eeewwlll Plus some had da stitches and what not, ouch totally clinical. Nothing sexy exciting about seeing a stitched up prick, ya know.

I could not be a good nurse at all. Whats da numba to 911? I would be the worst nurse ever. You would see it in my face - totally tacky funny face & rolling my eyes. The worst bedside manners ever. Nurses have to have to have a certain presences yeah. I would be cracking up or throwing up. Yuck. You gotta commend those who can handle all that RAW stuff.

There is so much risk in this type of surgery:

“The risk of infection is approximately 6%, which results in longer periods of antibiotic usage and excess scar formation. Redoes are about 5%, so if you are not satisfied, with the results this may require more money and longer healing, no pun intended. With Fat Transfer it is quite possible to develop irregularities in the shaft area, resulting in a lumpy appearance. You can re-injure yourself or impede healing if you use it too soon. Take care and listen to your surgeon’s advice. There is a small chance of hematoma, which according to the Merriam-Webster Dictionary, “is a mass of usually clotted blood that forms in a tissue, organ, or body space as a result of a broken blood vessel.”

I wonder how soon after surgery that you can do this:

What! I had to figure out how to add that cartoon in here. Oh yeah and there’s more. I’m bad yeah? Probably going to hell for talking about the penis like this huh? Well its funny haha cause its not something that is discussed you know, so discussion wise its really quite educational. I mean if it wasn’t for yesterdays topic I would not have learned about this one. So its all good. Right? hehehehehe

I mean you do what you gotta do. There are risk to everything. I suppose the question is ~ Do you feel lucky? You like chance’um? Your peepee, your call.

Oh wait, wait, wait……try look PROOF PEOPLES GOT PILAU MIND. Or is it just me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Made you look? K-den no look. Guys stop copying him. I can’t do that my thumb is too little.

I’m sorry I think the correct terminology is Labiaplasty. The topic was brought up on the Threads. I would say TREDS but if I may be so bold as to use the correct spelling.

I’ve heard of this but never put much thought into it. So now that topic has been brought out I’ve thought about it; way more then I should. Scarey thought….

I think there are legitiment reason(s) for doing this procedure other then cosmetic. Then again maybe not, I don’t know. Anyway I’m sure anyone thinking about getting this procedure done does the research and gets a more then a few opinions.

My first thought was ~ who was da first wahine to look between her legs and come to this conclusion: my labia needs to be cosmetically enhanced. She couldn’t just say “hon eat dis?’ or “give me good lickings.” (I know ~ I’m so tacky) My imagination preceeds me. OR maybe some Yoga master spread her legs doing a forward pretzel posture sticking her head down up between her legs to look at herself. (Ladies ~ stop it ~ you can’t do that. Oh you’re a yoga master? Knockyourself out.)

More likely though a female placed a mirror between her legs and looked at herself. I’m wondering though, maybe she didn’t read the wording on the mirror. OBJECT IN MIRROR MAY BE LARGER.

Cosmetic wise I see this as a money making procedure along with enhanced boobs, fake asses, face lifts and botox trout pout chocho lips. You know what I mean.

Botox, tox means there’s toxins. As in a bacterium Clostridium botulinum, or something like that, yes like da stuff that can cause botulism. Granted Botox is FDA approved & safe they say. Botox is relatively new, since the 80’s. What will we find out in 20 years. You know kind of like SMOKEing. But I digress.

I can see where if you’re some kind of porn star you want this done because your precious pu-nay-nay is up front and center of a frkng camera on someones big screen. But dang the way that industry works, they’ll find someone younger and “fresher” and thats a sad thing; cause then your enhanced labia is no longer needed.

I find it ironic that people in a 3rd world country like Ethiopia are trying their hardest to outlaw female genitalia mutilation and in America females
pay to get their genitalia reconstructed. Ok I know, its comparing apples with oranges, but hey its fruits.

I think there should be more male genitalia enhancement procedures. Ya’think? Cause like I said, there’s Pimp My Ride, Overhaulin, Pimp My Truck; how about PIMP MY DICK. Are any doctors working on THAT issue? Why gotta be wahines getting operated on?

Anyways all this talk about enhancement, ssshheeesh…. pieces of all this cosmetic surgery business reminds me of a story I just read…..

In the book MOLOKAI by Alan starts with a B; there is a mahu character. Well because of the maipake’ aka Hansens Disease (aka leporasy back in da day) his body literally changes; taking on a female appearance, his dick shrinks so look like punani, his breast develops, his body literally looks like one wahine. Anden he makidiedead. Shuttup. The point is, HE was so happy that his body evolved into one wahine becuase he had prayed everyday for God to make him a woman and with the disease that prayer came true.

So what does dat have to do with Pimping My Pu-nay-nay you say….
Prolly notting. LOL It just came to mind and it also brought to mind that I understand what it means for me to go under the knife (like twice). Like a doctor taking a a scapel to me and removing stuff, cancerous stuff. With this realization, for myself I would not go thru cosmetic surgery because surgery would take some serious healthy days away from my life. I don’t need to spend time/life under anesthesia. I just need to live life to the fullest ~ unenhanced undoctored belot and all.

I think instead of women worrying about the apperance of their belot, dey should focus on their “skills.” You know what I mean. Cause like how many men judge you by the LOOK of your labia? I think men don’t give a ratass what your labia looks like and if they do, hello I think its a sign that you don’t need him. As long as you are taking care of business - HIS ooohbabyyeah busisness. REAL women know, looks are decieving! Da belot might not look pimped out, but da “skill” level is masterful. Amene!

Its that wonderful time of the year, the yearly check up time. Literally check UP. The “open wide” exam. I ain’t talking about no dentist either. So I called my OB/Gyn’s office to make an appointment. Doctors appointments nowdays usually take 3-6 weeks sometimes. You could be healed of whatever you have by that time. So when the office lady asked me, when do you want to be seen? I replied “first available;” thinking its gonna be weeks from now right.

Well I tawt wrong. Duh. She said we have available time Monday morning. I was like this coming Monday. She said yeah. I was shocked. Anden I swear, you know how some people can just make you laugh. Was it me or her? Was both? K ~ we ended up cracking up so much……and I have no idea who this person is so that in itself is funny. This person has a slight accent. I’m thinking Filipino only cause she was cracking me up. And you know Filipinos R Punny, huh?

K ~ so this is our conversation:

Me: Monday 10:30 am is good for me

Her: Do YOU remember THE DRILL?

Me totally clueless brainfarting huh, wot drill?: THERE’S A TEST?

Her: NO hunkypunky for 3 days before your exam.

ME cracking up big time: SO I have to do IT TONIGHT?

Her cracking up big time: Do you want to change the appointment?

ME still cracking up: No no no he’ll live.

Her cracking up: Do you want me to write a note to your husband?

Me cracking up even moe now: Naaahhh he’ll juss expect something else!

Her cracking up big time now: I can change the appointment.

Me still laughing: Monday is fine.

Her still laughing: I’ll see you Monday morning.

Isn’t dat a song? LOL Or da beginning of a spooky movie…. Oh no dats DUN DADUN DUN….

I think I’ve written about this before and I know I’ve thought about it. hehehe Ok so wot got me to tink about this “topic” is what I saw in the gym this morning.

This is just my opinion and yes guys will beg to differ BUT….

White shorts with a color thong don’t look cool. Well white shorts with any colorkoa panty no look cool eda, yeah.

I know its 6am and people are not thinking of color coordinating their shorts and undawea. I’m just saying it looks kinda tacky.

I know guys no caya. Hey its a thong baybee. yeah yeah woteva.

Every woman should own a thong. A few of them at least. Guys love dat shit. Am I lying? Is there a guy who can not stand seeing a woman in a thong? Ok maybe cause “the guy” wears one too. Eeeewwwl Ok lets not pick on those guyzzzz, lets keep it hetero-ish here.

Wearing a thong is a pain in da butt, literally. Yes voice of experience. Its a pain in da elemu cause its a perpetual wedgie. Ok if you love wedgies then knock yourself out wearing a thong. I can’t because I’m so tacky. I be digging my ass, no shame kine. Discreation my ass. I diggem!

How you going be discreat trying to unwedge a wedgie? Stand against a wall? You’re assuming there is one. Sitting in your seat, ami left, ami right, go around da island, wot? People going ting I get hemroids or itchy ass. Same difference hah?

Wearing a thong is cool when you “have to” or when you want to. Wearing one everyday would be annoying I think. Wouldn’t dat make the space between your ass get wider? You know da thong working like one SHIM, ja’like dat piece of wedged wood yeah pushing da two mounds apart. Eh dat would make my hip size even widah? I betta hemo mines. LOL Shuddup. hehehe

I read in a magazine article that belot infections have increased partially because of wearing a thong. Cause da germs, dare I say doodoo germs aka fecal matter can travel down da dental/butt floss towards the vaginal area hence da infection. But I’m thinking you know wot….WIPE YO”ASS! (hooo I crack myself up lolo)

I guess if you wear a thong everyday you are moe susecptible to getting such infections. If you only wear it for “special” occassions then you should be safe. Unless of course you no wipe yo’ass. LOL

This piece was/is inspired by NTPupule, who was inspired by Jenn who was inspired by Men & Porn who were inspired by testostrone and lord knows what else.

So in the “comments” of said inspiring piece; a guy uses the line “born again virgins” which I think was a brilliant line myself. Not necessarily agreeing or disagreeing with his “thesis” but a crafty choice of words I thought.

I’ve always used the term “Mock Virgin” myself. Born again implies IT (virginity) can happen again. Comparable to finding Christ; as in born again Christian. Well Ladies, we all know dat ain’t ever gonna happen.

I wonder how old is the oldest virgin? Would it be a nun? Would have to be Catholic huh? Well not necessarily. Usually Nuns have been molested by some male so thats why they go into an all female lifestyle, that could possilble turn into a…..another kine of lifestyle. Same sex? But I digress. ADD dat I am. Where was I….. oh yeah….. virginity?

Virginity is one of those double standards of life, you know males brag about it and females cringe. Ok maybe its just me. Yeah I’m old school and ain’t afraid to say, I don’t discuss sex specifically. Just in general. LOL Hey I’m trying to cop out here.

What I think is sad about virginity is that as females ~ I’m just talking in general, not me per se; yeah right. hehehe

I think virginity is one of those things one looses out of peer pressure. EVERYONE is doing it, you suppose to do it, if you love me YOU would do it, you must NOT love me because you won’t do it, blah blah blah.

As a young female nobody told me sex would be betta AFTA 40. SHUDDUP, I’m a late bloomer. I think I come from a pretty sheltered life compared to kids nowadays. I did not know a lot of things. Hell, I still don’t know a lot of things. But at this age now; I’m more apt to understand the “physics” & psychologial RAMifications of it all or most of it. Yeah pun intendend. *L*

In retrosepect: sex as a virgin or sex nowadays? Now, hands down right. *L*

A friend sent me a story about a person who wrote about their experience with waxing. That reminded me of my own experience. For the record: NO I have never had a Brazilian done.

After reading all the good things about waxing, I thought I’d wax my legs. How hard could it be. Wax on wax off. Not. All the things I read about waxing never mentioned anything about pain or torture. It all said its better then shaving. Little did I know that was just a matter of opinion. And like the masses I went to WalMart to buy a waxing product.

Who knew there was more then one type? Heat or no heat? Being the wax virgin that I was; I decided on getting the one that you didn’t heat up. I figure one less step and I would avoid burning or hurting myself. Half wrong.

So I go home read the instructions. Ok, I can do this. I glop dat yucky sticky honey consistancy matter on a patch of my leg about 2 inches by 5 inches. Then I cover it with the special piece of cloth given in the kit. I rub it down good as many minutes as the instructions told me. Then I ripped the cloth off. AND WENT OFF ~ FK dat was frkng painful. Owww-weeee!

I didn’t go into shock but I was in shock. For some reason I was not expecting pain. Ouch! I need to do this again and again. Crap! Ok I said shit! I looked at my leg and the amount of hair removed. I’m like you gotta be kidding me. Repeat until all hair is removed. That would mean doing this ‘crap’ another 50 times maybe and thats just one leg. I was busy rubbing my ooowww-wwweeeee. Dang live and learn.

Imagine waxing your own crotch? How comical can that get? The vaginal area is a very sensetive area so why would I even want to entertain myself with that thought? I suppose I shouldn’t knock it until I’ve tried it. How much does it cost, I have to pay for one? *L* In an article I read some women said it made them feel sexy. I believe MEN think a puberty-ish looking belot is sexy and could careless about the mind. I believe sexy starts in the mind not in a bolohead belot.

I’m not into pain. Who ever invented this crap was a masochist. I can see where you would pay somebody to do this. I would pay someone to do this crap because I would want to be focus on my Lamaze breathing and controlled cussing. Wouldn’t that make me part S&M-ish also, paying someone to inflict pain on me like that. Its probably a conspiracy to recruit S&M followers. Who knows?

All this self inflicted pain made me think of people who have a Brazilian done and da person who does a Brazilian all day long. In Pidgin, Brazilian translates into BOLOHEAD BELOT. Can’t get anymore graphic den dat.

I read an article where the first Brazilian Salon was started in 1987 by 7 sisters from Brazil, the first salon was in Manhattan, NY. My question is who was the first person to come up with this bright idea? Like who was the first person EVER to get one bolohead belot or it coulda been a boto, I don’t know.

I came up with my own idea on how this could have started. Because you know my imagination preceeds me. *L* I’m sure one of my knowledgeable readers will tell me the real story. For now this is my thinking…….

Once upon one time, there were these nudist candle makers. (shuddup you guyz are laughing awreddy) So this nudist couple are making candles. Think 3rd world country Brazil, no electricity so they gotta make candles, right. Mrs. is pouring wax into candle molds and OOPS, spills some on her crotch area. She is screaming bloody murder, hot wax stay synging her belot. Ow-wweee, ow-wee, ow-wee. To the rescue; Mr. grabs a towel or rag (papertowels weren’t invented yet) and rubs her hot waxed belot hud. Then he pulls it off fast! Lo and behold ~ a bolobhead belot. Wha-lah da first Brazilian!

He looks at her hairless, pubesant looking belot. All excited, “aye zahzoosh mommylinda que guapa?” (He’s Portagee/Spanish) She’s like “what? what?” With each “what” his boto grows and she’s turned on and as they say…..the rest is history. Literally HIS-story.

I mean who would intentionally pour hot wax on their crotch. Do guys have Brazillians done? I know body builders and swimmers wax or shave certain areas of their body. Its part of the sport. I’ve never inquired about da boto section doe. I mean what do I care if a guy has a bolohead boto, is he from San Francisco? nahnahnah I don’t mean to pick on da guyzzzzzz……….

I read this article in Cosmo magazine once, it was written by a person who does nothing but Brazilians all day. What are these people called……um? Hair Removal Technicians. Something like that. HRT? I always thought HRT was Hostage Rescue Team. Well woteva? So anyway this lady wrote about removing hair from belots all day. She wrote alot about the skanky things that happened to her; like wahines on their rags, and pilau graphic stuff. A total turn off. I think her goal in writing that story was to not make people come visit her. I know I wouldn’t. Eeewwwll wot if her write about my belot? How rude!

I’m thinking if a Mr. wants to remove the hair from his Mrs. then HE should do it. He’s da one complaining about the hair tickling his nose. LOL

I read an online article talking about Britney Spears gave birth to a baby boy. Congratulations. I also read she chose to have a Ceserean because she was afraid of regular vaginal childbirth.

Well you know:
IT MAY HAVE FELT REAL GOOD GOING IN GIRLFRIEND, BUT ITS GONNA HURT LIKE HELL COMING OUT!

Me, I’ve never had a Ceserean myself. Truth is I was scared to death of just da thought of getting my belly cut open. Just cut down below already get one starting place yeah! I shitted out my kids. Push, push, the feeling passes, push, push, I tired, wait now no one moe time push, push some moe. I swear; kids wonda why dey Mahdahs get pissed off at dem wen dey kolohe. Gunnfunnit kids afta all I wen thru in labor……… hehehehehe

I always thought da only reason to get a Ceserean is cause of the endangerment of the health of da child or the mom or both. But I guess in dis day and age if you get money, you can have whateva you want. To me choosing Ceserean over normal vaginal birth is kinda like being lazy. You no have to do da work yeah, just lie there and have somebody open you up and pull da buggah out. You missing part of da natural process. Kinda like: Fuckme wen I sleeping cause I heard its gross & hurts so good. LAZY! *L*

I bet she got dat baby boy circumsized too. What is the purpose of circumcision? Ok, there is cultural aspects to it and all that but in genereal ~ Why you gotta traumatized an infant male? Da bugga was all comfy cozy insai Mom anden he is litereally pushed into da world or pulled, whatever the case maybe. ANDEN insult to a traumatizing time, some doctor comes and cuts up his peepee. BabyBoy can’t evn defend himself and say HEY I JUSS GOT HERE LEAVE ME ALONE!

Some people say its unhealthy NOT to have a boy circumsized. NO, dats not true. It’s UNhealthy NOT to teach da boy how to wash his dick! With or without da foreskin. LAZY!

Who came up with this idea anyway? Was it an angry Lesbian doctor, pissed off at one prick so now generations of pricks are paying for it? Do you know what I’m saying. You feelin me? LOL

I’m thinking Jesus Christ was not circumsized. Think about it, born in a stable anden a few days later they leave right. Why? Cause Mother Mary’s maternal insinct told her some doctor might show up and want a piece of JC’s peepee. Na-uh not gonna happen. Nobody’s gonna touch her Babyboy’s boto. They took off. And why was Mother Mary able to travel with BabyJC and ohana? BECAUSE she didn’t have a ceserean! Natural process, I’m telling you!

I know. I know. Blasphemy! Personally, I think God has a sense of humor. He created me. LOL

So wot happens to all the foreskins? Do they get accumulated so they can build a penis for a Lesbian? Is it used in STEMcell research? You figure as long as man has been being circumsized, there should be enough skin to build a few men at least. Is da cutoff foreskin just thrown away; cause if it is then why even do it. Just waste. You gotta teach da Boy to wash his penis with or without da skin, so just leave it alone.

Have you ever wondered why there are so many assholes in this world? I have. *L* Part of it has to do with circumcision. I mean if I was a few days old, new to this world and some masked person whacks off a piece of my penis, ain’t that major psychological trauma. I mean you are scarred for life. (pun intended*L*) Maybe I don’t know what I’m talking about cause I am a dickless wonder (yes, pun intended) but thats my thinking. I mean would a grown man or a kid who was NOT circumsized go to a doctor and say, “Hey you know what, TRIM my dick!” Am I wrong?

The world is filled with assholes because half of the guys in this world have had a chunk of thier cock cut off! The other half were just born that way!

Little did I know that writing yesterdays entry would lead me to an education of da vaginal region. It led to information, other web sites, consurmer reports and pictures! I saw pic-chas and I don’t have STAH-eye dis morning. I learned; I think I know, but I neva know dat get plenny I don’t know and I still stay learning. Today I am less clueless den yestaday. Dats a good ting right? *L* So now I smut (smart), wot? Not.

Case in point: ClitPump! I’m serious. I undastood clit = clitoris, ok I know wea dat stay; definitely in da belot region. I did pass dat female reproductive anatomy exam. K~Pump; as in pump it up, pump? Wot? Huh? Pump pump da kine pump I’m thinking of pump?

Yes, da kine pump I was tinking of. Only smaller. Cause da one I had in mind was Austin Powers make your cock bigger dillywacker thing of a jiggy. I guess “pump” is the correct terminology. I don’t know what else to call it. Oh, oh, oh I know ~ “Enhancer”. Woteva.

I had not even heard of one and I went to a website where there was a comparison; price wise & use wise, of three different types! Whoa information ovaload. It cost how much? It compared one dat you need a prescription from a doctor and dat was $400. Doc, why no juss tellem’ use dey fingahs? I’m sorry, I digress….. There was an $80 one and da one everyday household item you prolly have some where in da junk drawer.

From an FAQ on I forget which website:

Using a modified syringe, because they are cheap; you simply take the plunger out, cut the needle end off, and insert the plunger back into the cylinder from the needle end; opposite end from which you took it out. You then place the end where the finger tabs are located, and is nice and smooth, around your clitoris.

Don’t ask me to explain anymoe. I just learned about dis stuff. Still virgin-ee in this ‘pump’ business. Talk about learning something new every day. I am not a good person to explain dis stuff cause it comes out all hammajang sounding.

I was reading and looking at pictures, I was like…………how would I explain this. Obviously I can’t with out laughing and making funny face. Too hilarious on my part.

You guys seen on TV this dog food commercial that has a new zip lock bag. You see da dogs head tilt left, right, left, right each time he hears da dog food bag zip & unzip. Dat is how I was looking at da computer screen yestaday learning all this new found clit information. You know how Scooby Doo sound? Dat was how I sounded, clueless. “Huh? Uhhhduhhhnooo?”

You know how dey say a picture speaks a thousand words. Picturing me speaks ukupila, ukuplenny, choke laughs.

So I’m looking at these pictures right. Da head stay tilting left, right, left, right. Den I start reading da instructions. I start looking down between my legs. Den I gotta lean moe forward try see if my eyes can curl looking moe into da belot area. Den da hands gotta help pull back da momona opu. Oh yeah, dat going help your eyes….den one hand gotta help pull up some moe momona-ness stretching da area up, in hopes of helping da eyes curl down and around. No can da kine!

I stay reading reading, moe looking looking some pic-chas. Duh? Mirror! You gotta do dis infront one mirror so you can see insai deya. Oooohhhhhh. Told you guys I was slow. K~by dis time I get side pain cracking up by my lonesome, tired “playing” wit myself awreddy. LOL

So I’m looking at da mirror. Looking at me. No I’m not even gonna go there. Did I eva mention I kinda kapakahi? So say I do have this syringe dilly and say I stay looking in da mirror; left is right and right is left ~ ai, I tink I would hurt myself cause eda way its hit or miss. I prolly bruise myself up to death. You gotta make da ting suck yo’dakine! I was tinking, no can juss use da vaccuum cleana? Lazy yeah me. *L* Dats kinda dangerous hah doe, vaccuum yo’belot; well at least not going be dusty. Bumbye da ting going suck out yo’uterus out, hala! LOL Nasty!

I kinda juss like da old fashion way. WEA HE STAY? *L*

For more info and correct terminology try try: www.libida.com
Dey get one stowah too. Hala!

I was checking out da Hawaiithreads.com site. I have no clue why, but I’m not allowed on deya. No matta how many times I have registered or email da buggas, GypsyLika no can. So neva mind I tired awreddy. I figgah has someting to do wit my computa. No pilikia. But I go insai read la dat. So I saw one of Lynn’s postings, get da lipstick lips.

I rememba seeing’um befoe BUT da bugga wasn’t moving making cho-cho lips. Now da lips stay move, hah. Kiss kiss kine. I was reading something dat was posted and and dat Lip pic-cha kept going like da evaready bunny neva stop, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss……..

I stay reading, reading; next ting I know my belot stay squeezing to da rhythm of da lips. Hala, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, squeeze……. I started cracking up. Its a reminder to do your belot exercise!

Yes da belot needs exercising too. Ja’like da mind. Da belot gotta be strong and ready for da next attack right. You neva know. Gotta be prepared. You neva know if going get INCOMING ~ OK yeah you going know wen da bugga going puinsai! But you gotta be strong no can be one pussy, just cause dey call it pussy. You know wot I’m saying.

So I was like OMG ~ I’m inspired, I must write about da belot exercise. I knew da correct name/terminology was called “Cagle Exercise”. I neva know how for explain’um except say “squeeze your belot muscles” I was afraid I confuse somebody, I wanted correct terminology. So I went to da trusted webmd.com. Obviously I neva know how fo’spell cause I had a hard time finding’um. Until I went put “vaginal exercises” den it came up with “Kegel exercise”. Hooo, I was putting cagal, kagal, kegal, every which way but da correct way.

Ok so da lesson for today is; da correct terminology for BELOT EXERCISE is KEGEL Exercise. I tink named afta da Docta who discovered the exercise. Obviously he wasn’t Filipino or you know it would have been named Belot Exercise.

I know my OB/GYN told me this exercise is good to do when you stay standing in line in da store, post office, DMV, where ever. Exercise da belot; excuse me, her said vagina. Her said when you sitting down at work or at da computah la dat; straighten your back and squeeze da vaginal area & pull in da abdomen in. It pushes you chest out, shoulders back and your okole out and dats a good ting. This strengthens da lower back too.

I rememba my Grandma dem use to talk about dis subject. Dey neva tawt I understood Visayan, I know nouns and verbs. Obviously I know belot. My Grandma, her neighbors, my Mom & Aunty dem would be talking story about dis subject especially afta somebody had given birth. Dey would be cracking up and telling “old wives tales” about what can be done to make da belot come strong again afta pau give birth. I rememba somebody said dat afta you pau give birth you should eat fresh green onions, da whole ting stalk and all. Dey said it makes yo’belot hard again, anden dey would be laughing. At the time I didn’t get it and part of da time my Grandma would cova my ears and by da time she took her hands off my ears everybody was laughing so hard.

If you guys & gals are clueless as to what I’m talking about just go to hawaiithreads.com and check out one of Lynn’s posting. 1st Wahine. Try go look see. As da rhythm you gotta have, oh yeah uh huh. You figgah, if da lips was vertical instead of horizontal den as da kine hah dat? K~everybody get da pic-cha.

From webmd.com:

Kegel exercises

Squeezing the same muscles used during urination. These are the muscles that are involved in stopping urine midstream. The stomach and buttocks should not move with this flexing.
Holding the squeeze for 3 seconds, then relaxing for 3 seconds.
Repeating the exercise 10 to 15 times per session.
For best results, more than three sets of Kegel exercises should be done every day.

Sooooo……….Ladies right now, squeeze, give me ten; make it twenty…… oh yeah, uh huh uh huh you can do this……we may be outta whack or outta shape BUT we are gonna have STRONG belots! Oh yeah, guys are gonna be scared of us…….*L*

Today’s topic is inspired by Lynn & Lurkah. Da question Lynn asked is: Are Boto’s Ugly? Lurkah’s comment included ‘DA WAY OF DA BOTO’.

For the record; I’m totally heterosexual. There’s no boto wotsoeva hanging between my legs. What da hell would I do if there was something dingalinging between my legs; I couldn’t even image. Pee standing up, water specific plants, vandalize somebody’s gas tank, just go behind da car, truck or building, no need toilet paper just drip dry or shake it in da wind. Have a REAL pissing contest. Which reminds me of this story/guys can relate:

My son was in da 1st grade and we seen his friend in the supermarket. After we were in da next aisle my son told me, “We call him da Fireman.” I was like, “oh does he want to be a fireman?” My son was says “No Mom, in da school bathroom he’s the winner, he can pee from this far and make it go in.” (He paced off the distance for me) Before I could ask he showed me, “I only can do it from this far”. Boys do these things huh, Little Boys and Big Boys!

You know why God neva give me boto ~ cause he gave me big thighs and no moe room down deya awreddy. Ova crowding bumbye. Been ova crowded since day one, there is no space for anymore flesh.

I’ve never given a second thought to weather the male genitals are ugly or cute? Dey all kinda looked da same in general. Then again I really haven’t seen that many penis-es in person you know. I’ve seen pic-chas. OH, I’ve seen porn movies. SSSshhhhh no tell. LOL In da ones I seen, da guy had da longduckdong kine; you know da part horse looking size penis BUT da buggah had Ed Zachary disease or was hairy. You know Ed Zachary disease? Pakay doctah says “You face look EdZachary like you ass!”

I’m sorry BUT I don’t jump on ugly or wolfman. Da hairy back, hair coming out of da neckline of da shirt, wolfman, fuzzy looking homosapien is a total turn off to me. Ugly is a total subject thing and ugly can be physical and/or personality. There are alot of really handsome guys who are ugly. For instance….just kidding hehehe, like I was gonna name names. *L*

I think women don’t think much of the penis cause they really don’t see it that much. Think about it, you always see naked women full frontal. When was the last time you saw a movie with a full frontal naked guy. Its perseption. Its about how much you have seen or not seen. I think for many women, the trauma lies in seeing ones male parental unit naked for da first time. Its a totally horrific experience, along with the thought of my parents did “WHAT” to create me.

I told my kids once, “yeah me & your Dad only did it 3 times!” One kid was yelling & laughing “eeeeeeewwwwwwwlllll ssssshut upppp”, another was covering their ears going “lalalalalalalalalalalalala” and the other was waving their hands in front of them screaming “too much information, too much information!”

I think when a guy sees his Dad naked for the first time its like, “oooohhhh cool I have one too!” its a prideful thing. For females its total trip, because one day they are going to have to, well they don’t have to; but eventually they will end “doing it” with a male penis. Unless of course they like the artifical type better. Then, hey woteva floats your boat.

Us old school wahines grew up sorta kinda sheltered compare to our own kids. I come from da generation dat taught holding hands could make you pregnant. Boto was a nasty nasty word, it was on da list with ‘fock’. LOL Alot of us did not learn about ‘fallatio’ or ‘cunninglus’ until we were married.

FYI: Lynn ~ Fallatio is female going down on male aka Blow Job! Cunninglus is male going down on female aka Eating!

Just thought I’d share some correct terminology there. *L*