Lika’s Log

I think of my kid sister as an unrecognized hero of Hawaii. Although I may be the only person to think of her as a hero, none the less my hero. She hasn’t saved anyones life, well maybe she has but I don’t know about it. She has only taken care of her own life and children.

With that said; she is a single parent with 4 kids, only the youngest one at home now. She has her own house, townhouse woteva its called, a full time job and an ugly ass mini van and no man.

She would like a man but the ones she has been meeting are either looking for someone to take care of them aka “a mom.” Or they are looking for a little something something aka sex. I think she needs/wants the sex part but she’s not going to do it just cause she needs to get off. LOL Did I say that? She is going to slap me. *L*

To me my sister is an unrecognized hero of Hawaii because she is there surviving! She’s talked about moving to da mainland but I’m like “don’t do dat, cause you going have hard time going home. Look at your two sisters who stay mainland.” Besides I wouldn’t have my favorite Bed & Breakfast to go stay at. How selfish is that of me?

She has great hopes in meeting a companion and sharing good times like other couples. My sister is not ugly, she’s a Capricorn or is it Sagitarrius? Whatever Dec 22 is. She has a full time job. She’s been divorced once. There are 2 deadbeat Dad’s in her children’s history. She has nothing to do with them. (the Deadbeats) She hasn’t had a “steady” boyfriend for more then a decade. She’s good fun. She’s my sister.

She grad Farrington 80 or 81? She was cheerleader. She was on the Rifle team. She took karate and won Ms Congeniality in a pagent she entered back in the day. For her talent she did a choreography of her katas to contemporary music.

Soooo, she’s pretty, she can shoot your eye out and/or kick your ass. She’s a size 8 or 10, so she not one blahlah tita or notting la dat. Although I haven’t seen her in 5 years? *L*

My sister is one of my hero’s because she survives in Hawaii the best she knows how. She doesn’t bitch & moan. She doesn’t ask for anything? But she sure needs a new vehicle.

Anyone on Oahu looking for a 40 somethin year old girlfriend? I know where you can find one. LOL She’s going be so mad when she finds out I’m “pimping” for her. *L*

I was eating a bowl of Cheerios this morning and it reminded me of something my kids taught me. They told me when you eat cereal and there’s still milk in the bowl but no cereal, you have to add more cereal. You have to keep eating cereal till theirs no milk. Ok.

So I thought I’d share some of things my kids taught me.

…..put the the chips in your ham or bologna sandwich. “Mom, you always say its all going da same place.”

…..if you want “food” or pop left in the Frig, you have to put a note on it. If your name is not on it ~ it will get eaten or disappear. “Mom, I tink Boboy eats da notes too, he doesn’t read!”

…..not eating the crust of the toast is good. (I do dat now dey no stay home LOL)

…..you have to try put butter in every square of da eggo.

…..make French Eggos! You dip da frozen Eggos in the french toast batter & cookem’ like french toast. It makes it soooo soft and ono.

…..everybody in the family takes a turn at hiding Easter eggs. Easter eggs aren’t for eating their for hiding.

…..eating 2 grill cheese a day 2 or 3 times a day will not make you sick. Its just a phase but it can last up to 2 weeks.

…..eating bologna and grape jelly sandwich is an acquired taste. Also a phase.

…..crackers and ketchup is a nutrious snack if you like ketchup, some people put buter. Crackers & ketchup was also a phase.

…..cold oatmeal is a good afterschool snack.

When one of my kids would have oatmeal for breakfast they would tell me ~ leave my oatmeal alone, I’ll finish it when I come home. And they really did. Eeeewwwwllll and I let’um. *L*

When my son was in da 5th grade he came home with a permission form for an AIDS education class. What bothered me about that was that knowing the culture of the commuinity and school they did not or had not taught the kids about basic sex education. How do teach kids about a sexually transmitted disease when they don’t even know what sexually transmitted is. I wanted to know what my son knew, so I asked him. I explained to him I needed to know what he knew and I wanted him to tell me.

He was doing his homework or acting like he was doing his homework when I asked him, “Do you know what having sex mean?” His eyes got big then he buried his face in his book acking like he was all busy. I explained to him why I was asking and I wasn’t going away till he answers me. His answer was “yeah yeah yeah I know all about dat.”
I was like tell so tell me what having sex means?

Speaking very slowyly he said “First, you take off your shirt, then you take off….
I was getting nuts and I said: “There’s a penis and a vagina, who has what?”
He said: “Boys have penis, Girls have vagina?”
I was like good, den wot happens?
He’s like “Mom I’m telling Dad you’re asking me dese tings?”
“Good cause you guys need to have dis man to man talk anyway. Wot happens?”

“Ok” He takes a deep breath and says as fast as he can: “Da penis goes in da vagina, dey go ugh, ugh, ugh something white comes out, there I told you!”
“Da white stuff is called semen it has sperm in it and when it comes out its called ejactulation.”
“Mom, I’m telling Dad you’re telling me dese tings!”
“Good so you can use correct terminology. What happens wit dat sperm?”
“If theres a egg, da girl get pregnant.”
“What can you do to prevent pregnancy”
“Mom, I need to do my homework. Guys have to use condoms!”
“Very good, how do you know these things?”
“Mom, I watch the Discovery channel!”
“Oh thats good you’re very smart.”
“Mom, you know wot? I saw Poki doing it!” (Poki was our popoki)
“You did, how did he do it?”
“He jumped behind Sam’s cat and he went like dis (he grabs on to the table with two hands and acts like his humping da table) ugh, ugh, ugh.”
“Yep, dat’s how animals do it, men too.”
“Mom can I do my homework now, sheeeeesh?”

My oldest sister lives in Maryland and works in the Washington DC area. She came to Phoenix for her annual “cast people” convention. She’s a cast lady, da lady dat puts cast on peoples broken bones la dat.

So we are taking her around being tourist right. Wrong. We just stay going shopping, shopping and moe shopping. Our family (4 sistas, my 1 bruh maki) get da same disease I tell you, shopaholics anonymos.

Yesterday we INTENDED to go to Sedona, AZ. Act highmakamuck tourist. But first we had to go put gas in Anthem, AZ. Anthem once upon a time was just an Outlet Mall but in the past years its become a full blown suburb of Phoenix (I-17 North). Anthem has a new Supercenter WalMart. So guess where we went?

We went do super WalMarting anden we went to da outlet mall anden we went back to WalMart before going home. So much for the tourist business in Sedona. We never did reach Sedona.

Today the idea was we go to the Heard Museum. But we didn’t go there first we went to the bookstore first. So we went to Bookman’s anden Cost Plus World Market. I don’t know if Hawaii has Cost Plus but its like Pier 1 Imports but its cheaper and has more stuff; it has some food, wine and furniture, and a whole lot more dishes & cooking utensils and stuff. Cost Plus World Market is like a WalMartish Pier 1 Imports.

By the time we pau dose two stores its pass lunch time so gotta go eat. Anden gotta go WalMart get wrapping paper and tape to MAIL all da “treasures” that was bought. Afta WalMart we go into da Mall and surprisingly go to only 2 stores. Da one wit da Arizona stuff and the pet store go look at all da puppies. They had 2 cute fat English bulldog puppies wit da wrinkly smash face, was sooooo cute. But I digress…….hehehehe

Sista even bought dog biscuits! I was like you no moe one dog and dey no moe dog biscuits in MD? She’s like its for my friends dog and I haven’t seen this kine doggie snacks.

Needless to say we never made it to the Heard Museum. My sister is so proud that she’s been to 4 different Super WalMarts. Like they don’t all look da same. *L* Tomorrow is her last day here and she flys out early Sunday morning.

We haven’t planned anything for tomorrow but I’m thinking it starts with “W”!*L*

I love da 3 Stooges. They always make me laugh. I call me kids, MY 3 Stooges. They always make me laugh. Especially when they are all together. Now they live in 3 different states and its rare for all three to be together. Christmas is the one time we all make the effort to meet at Grandma’s House in Oklahoma.

When da kids was little I use to force them to watch 3 Stooges. They use to say, “Mom thats so lame.” Then they would be laughing and accuse each other of acting la dat. How can you not appreciate that humor.

Watching 3 Stooges when you are sick in bed is the best medicine. 3 Stooges thereapy. No prescription needed and its free on TV. Or you can buy it on video or DVD and always have it ready.

I use to make my kids listen to the classic rock station too. Like they had a choice, I’m da Mom. The rule is whoever is driving has control of da Tunes (radio). LOL They were taters. It use to make them nuts and I would remind them ~ you lucky your Dad ain’t driving. You rather have classic rock oldies or country western? I rest my case. *L*

Now that da kids are grown I think they appreciate the little & big things WE made them do. They crack me up when they start talking about “rememba da time…..” Alot of times the kids can just say one word and they all start laughing. Nobody has to tell the story cause that one word just says it all. Alot of it I get cause I was there. Then there are somethings that its just between them.

Like somebody would say “2 Dollars!” And we would all crack up. Two dollars, is a line from the movie BETTER OFF DEAD (I think), the paperboy trying to collect his $2. Anden when da kids use to ask me for money all I would have in my wallet is $2, and I would givem’ to dem. They would yell $2. So when they went off to college or wherever, I use to send them stuff in da mail (and I still didn’t have $) but I would always include $2 and stamps. Now that they make more money then me, if they send me something in the mail they include $5 with a note keep the change.

I think all families have their own family humor. Stories and things that always make them laugh regardless of how many times its mentioned.