Loren’s Life

So Tropical Depression Kenneth is on it’s path to Hawaii. It has started to rain and we’re expecting rain and some wind through the weekend. I love rain!!!

I think the Tropical Depression brought some depression today. Or at least A N X I E T Y and I R R I T A B I L I T Y. Work irritated me all day long for no good reason. I felt like everybody was picking on me! To top it off that I’ve been counting the hours until my paycheck is direct deposited and some of our customers are purchasing objects of desire that cost more than the car I drive. That doesn’t happen every day but it did happen twice in the last week. Then of course, just about every customer I speak to purchases something that costs more than my weekly paycheck. Hmm, I should work on commission…

Three hours and counting till my paycheck is in the bank… Maybe I should start stocking up on my hurricane preparedness kit. Let’s see, I’ll need water and food for how many days? I think the problem would be choosing food that doesn’t need refrigeration, doesn’t need to be cooked or microwaved. What would that be anyway? Maybe my kit will have:

Water
Diet Pepsi (yes, I’m thinking necessities only)
Canned Pineapple (doesn’t need peeling and will prevent scurvy, at least for a few days)
Peanut Butter
Crackers
Candy
Cookies
Cat Food (for the cat of course, or us, once we’re desperate)

Well, I think that should do it. Of course, it’s really not something to take lightly. After I finish here, I’ll find out what really should be in my hurricane / emergency kit and start stocking up.

Thinking about what you can eat without the luxury of electricity, water, etc. reminds me of seeing a homeless family in their van once. The father was asking for food, money, whatever help. I remember giving them whatever extra few dollars I had at the time and while I was leaving, these college girls walked up and gave them a little bag of groceries with non perishables like boxed macaroni and cheese. Hello… wouldn’t common sense tell you that if the family lives in their van, they probably don’t have a way to cook up a pot of mac and cheese…

Loren

I can’t believe this week has gone by so slowly. It feels like it should be 5pm on Friday, my favorite time, when the weekend is ahead of me and full of opportunity!

This weekend I actually have preset plans. Which is weird since I’m not much of a social butterfly. The kids are going to a birthday party on Friday, we’re meeting some friends for a little while on Saturday and going to a beachy birthday party on Sunday for most of the day. In between I’d like to fit in seeing a movie at Restaurant Row and cleaning my apartment, doing some laundry.

Oh, oh, the movie theatre at Restaurant Row (1.00 admission and free, validated parking) reminds me of something to write about. Favorite cheap things to do in Hawaii. Although with this price of gas over $3.00 a gallon, I’ll have to change that to: Favorite cheap things to do within walking distance of home.

I’m dying for dessert and all I have is a pineapple. Actually, I love pineapple, probably more than I love candy. I’m just really lazy and cannot muster the energy to walk into the kitchen and cut the pineapple. Even though I invested in this neato gadget that cores, peels and slices the pineapple all in one easy step. You just slice of the top of the pineapple, position the gadget’s tube thingy over the core, twist the handle on the top until you hit the bottom of the fruit and then pull! Voila, Perfect Pineapple! I sound like Lyle Galdeira from News 8 on “Does It Work?” I love that news segment where he tests those gadgets and other products usually shown on infomercials. I bought a Q Grill after Lyle proclaimed it was a winner. Thanks Lyle!

Which reminds me that we considered naming our son “Lyle” because the meaning is “Island”. But I didn’t care that much for the actual name so we chose another name. Sorry Lyle!

What a rambling post.. my apologies..

Loren

I’m sleepy tonight. Ready to crawl into bed and sleep through until morning. Hopefully without too much disruption from our kitten. She is lovable and sweet but her habit of crawling on my face in the middle of the night is mildly irritating.

Before I go to bed I want to finish the book I treated myself to when I went to Costco yesterday.

The title is: A Million Little Pieces

“Anyone who has ever felt broken and wished for a better life will find inspiration in Frey’s story.”

I think this book is the newest Oprah Book Club pick. I have sixty pages to go. I can’t really say I’ve ENJOYED the book as it’s very raw and mostly depressing. It gave me a lot to think about. I don’t know very much about drug addiction. I’ve been lucky enough to not have to deal with this on a first hand basis. Thank God for this.

In the book, the staff at the rehab center repeatedly talks about having a high rate of success with their patients, that 15% of their patients will stay clean and not relapse. With the ever growing ICE epidemic, I worry about the future of society and our children.

Okay, well, now I’m depressed. I’m going to finish my book and go to bed.

Loren

Today, like many days, I wondered why I have to be so tall. It’s not like I’m a giant or anything but I’m taller than most of the cute, petite girls here in HI. It’s uncomfortable sometimes to ride in an elevator and feel like I’m head and shoulders above everyone else.

I’ve always been tall. In school, when we lined up for school pictures, I was always the tallest which meant I was always in the back row. Fine with me, I’ve never been an up front kind of person anyway. I’m not sure when I reached my full height (5′9 or 5′10 on a good posture day) but I think it must have been in junior high. So you’d think after being this size for the past 15 years or so, I’d “grow” into myself.

I’m not sure that I’m aware of my actual size. For instance, I’ve never been attracted to tall men. A tall man to me would be like 5′8″. My husband was only 5′5″ and often shared his insecurities that people were looking at us because I was taller than him. Today I was at Iwilei Costco and saw a couple, a short Filipino man and a much, much taller white lady. They seemed very happy together. I definitely noticed the height difference but maybe only because I’m hypersensitive. Did others notice? Then I started taking a survey of the other couples at Costco. All the other couples were more traditionally height matched.

A bad thing for me about being tall is shoe shopping. My feet are big and a little wide. I normally wear flats (don’t want increase my height) but when I do try on shoes that have high heels and are feminine looking, I feel like I have mahu feet. Am I allowed to say that?

A good thing about being tall is that the junk food and candy that I eat don’t affect my figure as much as they would if I were 5 feet tall. So I’m lucky to have an overall somewhat slender appearance.

My son is going to be tall too. He’s the tallest in his class and continues to grow and grow. Height is good when you’re a guy so I’m happy. I just hope he stops growing before he’s eight feet tall. Yikes!

My daughter is of average height for her age. She takes after her dad more. Though I believe and hope that she’ll also be taller than him. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… I want her to be tall and beautiful and I don’t want her to have any insecurities. Which reminds me that I need to encourage her to keep drinking milk to stay healthy and grow well.

Loren

I have really missed writing. I think I’ve finally taken care of all my computer issues, at least until tomorrow! I was able to check in on other’s blogs but not really able to comment or to write in my own blog at work. So, I’ve been working a lot (not too much) and spending time yelling at the kids about everything. I really need to work on that. Someday when I die (hopefully not until I’m a great, great grandma) all my kids will remember is that I yelled a lot.

I think I need to visit the library and pick up some Self Help books. Surely they have books to cover the following subjects:

How to not scream at your children and actually get them to listen.

How to come to terms with the end of a 12 year relationship.

How to find the energy and time to be a super achiever at work.

How to summon the courage to go back to college so I can do something more worthwhile that might even pay more.

How to get your kids to finish their homework, without a hassle.

How to whip up a quick, nutritious and inexpensive meal every night.

How to be a better person in general.

The ironic thing is that I can’t borrow any books from the library because I owe late fees and they’ve sent me to collections. This is my own fault. So I’m adding to the list of needed titles:

How to pay your bills on time so your library late fees won’t ruin your credit rating.

Hmm, maybe the best thing to do is to go to BORDERS and sit on the floor and read self help books. I love Borders. I love books. I love magazines. I love music. Maybe I’ll take the kids to the bookstore tomorrow.

Loren

My addiction to Diet Coke and/or Diet Pepsi is threatening to overtake my life. Do they have a rehab program for soda addicts?

I know my reliance on soda must be in part due to the caffeine. I’ve never really been into coffee though. If I’m having a really sluggish morning or need an extra kick, I’ll start my day with my normal 44oz Diet Coke and a coffee on the side. That’ll usually do the trick. Until the caffeine wears off and I’m slumped in my chair at work…

When I wake up in the morning, I go straight to the fridge. On my way to work I pick up the 44oz fountain drink. I’ve thought of getting the huge 64 oz Thirstbuster but the ice melts before I can chug it all down and dilutes it. At lunchtime, I’m ready for another 44ozer. After work, another. In the evening, a 12 oz can or two. Sometimes taking a can to bed with me.

My addiction can sometimes control my life. I feel anxiety when I take the last can from the 12 pack. I feel possessive of my soda since my kids have also picked up on drinking soda. They’re drinking it alllll! Should I wake up in the morning and not drink anything, by the time 10:30 rolls around, my head is pounding and I’m ready to bite someone’s head off or possibly break into a Pepsi vending machine.

Oh no, what feeling could be as anxiety producing as going to the soda fountain and they’re out of Diet…

I must be thankful that it’s not regular, sugary soda that I love. I’d weigh 600lbs, have diabetes and completely rotten teeth.

I must be thankful that my addiction is not anything worse, like beer, imagine me kicking back a 12pack of Heineken a day. Woah, watch out!

I’ve tried to stop cold turkey. I didn’t even last 10 hours.

Sip, sip, as I write. Sip, sip, as I work. Sip, sip, as I drive.

No wonder I’m always in the bathroom.

Loren