Loren’s Life

July 3rd marked my third anniversary of my move to HNL. So, this 4th of July was my 4th 4th of July here… too many 4ths in that sentence. Things have changed so much in the past three years. I can remember each of the July 4th holidays and how they illustrate the changes that have taken place.

 My first 4th of July here was amazing. I was happy, hopeful and excited and even a bit smug, full of dreams for our family’s happily ever after in our island paradise. We were meeting up with all the in-laws for a BBQ and fireworks at Ala Moana Beach Park. It would be one of the last times I can remember cozying up to -him-, like a couple…

I was sick on the second 4th of July, another BBQ at Ala Moana with fireworks but I wasn’t feeling well. By this time, we were so resentful of one another. We had an argument because I was irritated by a family near us that was recklessly throwing fireworks and littering. He misunderstood me and to this day still believes I was complaining about his family.

Last year was one of the worst holidays I could have had. The kids were not with me, they were visiting their grandparents on the mainland. I always feel lost without my babies nearby. With -him- there was screaming, yelling, tears and enormous hurt. He moved out a few days later. I never got to see the fireworks. The day was pretty much a total waste.

This year was everything that last year wasn’t. The grandparents came to Hawaii to visit - so the whole family was together. We went to Kailua Beach and barbequed and played and swam and watched fireworks. It was very happy and I appreciate my special new sweetie for providing a calm happiness to our life. I feel grateful.

Loren

This entry was posted on Saturday, July 8th, 2006 at 11:17 pm and is filed under Life. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.