I just read an old entry, Crossing Sacred Lines, and realize how far I've come. We're making progress, I think.
By the way, I love my parents. I love them with everything I have. I've done preliminary Google searches for children who grew up in fundamentalist homes and have read only angry and vicious diatribes about the "evil" of religion.
While I'm saddened by what dogma has done to society, I can't say I share the same hate toward fundamentalists or the ideas they hold. Basically, the core of my parents' concern for me is their love. They think they know what's best for me, and I think I know what's best for myself. That's all.
In the meantime, I'm caught in the middle and feel hurt over their extreme disappointment in who I've become. I don't know how many people can appreciate what I'm going through, even at age 30.
I wish there was a forum discussing these issues yet treated people and ideas more kindly than what I've come across so far.
Once in awhile, I listen to Christian and politically conservative talk shows to hear about issues that are top-of-mind for a large part of our population.
I was irritated by a woman who called into the Dennis Prager talk radio show this morning.
She's 34, and explained that until about age 31, she had not been aware that guys were so powerfully moved by a woman's looks. The discussion centered on a recent study showing that men make less-rational decisions when they encounter an attractive woman.
Prager said that "secular women" know less about men than their Christian counterparts because Christian women appreciate the natural temptations of a man. And in understanding this male tendency, Christian women tend to dress more conservatively.
The woman on the show went on to say her secular friends are naive about a man's reaction to a woman's appearance thus "they dress like whores."
That wasn't a godly thing to say.
I was reminded about the cruel environment a woman can be placed in if she is a Christian yet chooses to dress more provocatively.
This really took me back to my college days, when I did indeed adhere to more conservative perspectives and judged other women for their sexual behavior while at the same time being constantly looked down upon by missionaries who thought I dressed like a "slut."
A few years have changed me. Another person's sexuality and their presentation of sexuality should not be what stirs anger toward other human beings. If a woman is sexy, let her be sexy. Calling her a "whore" is more than just a cut to a sexy woman, but a put-down to what sex is. It fails to recognize the beauty of sex and places it in this "filth" category. Sex and sexiness and the desire for sex by anyone is not "filth."
The self-righteousness of some Christian women is overbearing, and the ugliness I felt on the radio was not godly at all. I shudder to think that these people think they're speaking on behalf of God. No way.
I shudder to think that I used to be that way.
I feel jumbled up.
The subject lines for my e-mail this afternoon:
"Software Patch Promotion"
"Leave Your Job and Make Money on eBay"
"Ceilng Panel ... Water Leak Reported"
Somewhere in all this mess, among the transferred data, you wonder if you had meaning. You did. We will always remember you, Randall.